As the ship sinks, Rose takes my hand and looks at me. Though everything around me is frozen and dark, her hand radiates heat. The ship sinks under and threatens to suck us under. Rose becomes disoriented. I shake her, but she can't collect herself. I try to scream her name, forgetting we're underwater. No sound comes out. The ship suctions further and breaks our grip. I get sucked down further but I swim up to the surface. The only thing I can hope for is that her life vest saves her and takes her to the surface.
I yell her name but I cannot find her. A few seconds pass, as the worry and panic boils up inside of me. What if I can't find her? It was bad enough the last time I was near death, waiting in a room, handcuffed to a pole, slowly waiting for the water to take me. This is a million times worse.
A few seconds later, I hear her scream my name. I swim over, just as a panicked man is trying to push her under the water, to lay on top of her. This water creates sickness. Good men turn irrational. I've been in the water just as long as him but never once did I think of trying to use a person as a life raft. Never once.
I help Rose swim away from the fray. It's too dangerous in the thick of it, even for me. People are fighting for their lives, and they'll do anything to give them a better chance at living.
I look around, searching for nearby lifeboats, but it's too dark to see that far, and the boats will stay far away. After all, they didn't want to get sucked under with the ship. I spot a large section of wood, probably once belonging to a doorframe, and help Rose on top of it. I then try to get on it, but the board can't hold our weight. The board swamps us back into the water. Rose climbs back on all the way, shivering, even now still freezing.
This is the night I'm going to die.
There's not much time left. Even now the icy water freezes me to the bone. I can barely think. I place my hands in hers on the side of the door, trying to keep my legs moving underneath me. By now, I'm so frozen, I don't know if they even are moving, only that I'm trying. Rose begins to slowly turn blue right before my eyes. I feel so helpless. I can barely command my voice to tell her it'll be okay.
As I comfort her, or try to anyway, I think of my life. I had mentioned to her earlier, Wisconsin, Lake Wissota, and the time I fell in. That was cold, well, I was mistaken, because it's not this cold. I wish I could've seen it one last time. They air smelled so fresh, so full of life. Rose would've loved it.
Just think of all the things we would've done, me and her. Man, we would've had a time. We would've gotten married, travelled, had some kids. I would've watched them grow, have their own kids. We would've had a little white house, with a fence, a porch. We would've had a life- a real life, one where I stay in the same place for more than a year or two. I never settled down, and now I never will. It's a shame. I still count myself as the luckiest man in the world though, for meeting Rose. I wouldn't trade that for the world, or even my life. I would rather die than live the rest of my life without her.
I tell Rose not to give up, to never let go, but I almost already have. What use is there in fighting anymore? My body is broken, frozen, and I'll never be the same, even if I'm rescued. Rose has a fighting chance at least. She's not in the water all the way. Still, she grows quiet, as we all do, slowly waiting for death to come. Please death, please don't take her, not tonight.
The pain of the frigid water is nearly intolerable now. I look up at Rose, whom lays on her back, drifting off into space, gazing at the stars. Her chest rises and falls still, at a steady rate. I attempt to squeeze her hand, say goodbye, but she doesn't register. I look at her one last time, as I bob in the water, turning into a frozen corpse of the man I once was. Goodbye
