Because I love the movie Rent so much, and I really love the pairing LuxeL, I HAD TO DO THIS. Don't mock me. OR my story. Mmm…. But I really just wanted to take a few songs from Rent, and put my own meaning to them. If this doesn't convince you this couple is as damn near good for each other, then… well… you're making me sad. Ah, whatever, as long as you read it! Hrhrhr. Basically, this is just a small part, with a singer and a dancer, who works in the same bar, both living in the fast lane, except one problem… The singer has… yes… AIDS. AIDS is a deadly virus, and it is RETROACTIVE.
This means there is NO cure for AIDS. It mutates every six months, and attacks every organ in your body, tearing you down from the inside. AIDS doesn't actually kill you, it's the cold you get when you have AIDS. Because AIDS take away all of your immune system, and breaks apart your cell structure, you don't have a chance against it. People want to find a cure for this disease, but as things progress, it's become obvious this disease isn't curable.
So, for those who have AIDS, know someone who has AIDS, or has lost someone to AIDS, this is for you. And you. And you.
I've known a few people who've left me to this too, so I understand what it's like to stand in a hospital room and watch a loved one be take under, and the feeling of total hopelessness. It's as bad as war, and even if you fight against it, it's not going to go away. SAFE SEX IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL. Seriously, sleeping around? GET A CONDOM. It's not just birth control, IT'S SAVING YOUR LIFE. Please…
To those who are totally ignorant of this…. AIDS DOESN'T ONLY SPREAD WITH SEX. It spreads with any bodily fluid. Kissing, sharing blood, needles, cigarettes, food, or drug pipes! It's so easy to catch AIDS… so why not try to PREVENT IT?!??!
Alright… haha. Done with my interesting Rant… I really hope you learn something from this, and if you can… please, please, PLEASE, watch Rent if you haven't. The original writer and producer, before he lost himself to AIDS in 98', was an amazing man who wanted a movie about AIDS. Please, support those who are ill, don't treat them like they have leprosy, and please, just like others in the world, they need love too, and it's a problem that needs to be addressed by more people.
Some sites to look into, that are really informational!
.org/wiki/AIDS
.com/AIDS
Thanks for all your time. This is a REALLY important issue here!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of the Rent songs, or any of the KHII characters, nor am I making any money off this. At least… I hope not… O.o
NOTES: I really, uh… like pocky. Mmmm….
P.S. Ramen, yes, you may own the USE of Luxord's manhood… but I OWN THE ATTACHED PARTNER!! Can't play with the toy, unless you got the battery to make it work! Hrhrhrhrhrhrrrr
Also, a lot of the emotion put into this story is from interviewing people I know with AIDS, and a lot of these emotions come from myself, because losing yourself is one thing I'm always looking after. New ways to become someone other than me, new ways to find myself not an individual, and just accepted. Because if it's one thing I've asked for, one thing I've needed for so long, that's acceptance. I find it hard to stand in a corner, and see people judge you before they know you, then display their pain on a painted canvas, while mine is still hidden under all the layers. I think that's why I'm so attached to the movie RENT, because the characters in there are people I can relate to, and a lot of the problems I face myself, and because they are a group of misfits that don't always get along, or even like each other all that much, but they accept one another.
It's something I've been looking for my whole life, and it's taken till now to realize I have people who are there, just waiting for me to reach out, and fall into their arms. Because I'm beginning to realizing I don't always have to be the strong one, I can cry too. Because, I'm learning it's okay to have emotions, to cry… to fade to black, as long as I come back again.
For Ramen, I love you tons. I know it's taken forever to get here, but I'm here now. And I know it's not always easy to talk to me, when I never tell you anything worth shit, but know you're the one I trust the most. I tell you everything I can tell without breaking from my seams. One day, when I can voice everything in my head, I'll tell you, till then, please just hold my hand and let me be me.
And your family? I want to thank for being a family to me, and showing that, yeah, even if we ain't blood related, I have a family, people who care, and listen to what I have to say, and want to make sure I'm alright. People who care. It's still a strange concept to me, but I'm learning to like the fact that… maybe I'm not so lonely after all.
As a survivor of child abuse, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, suicide, cutting, bullying, and rape, I can say there's really a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang tight, and keep in there till you reach it. It's hard, I know, and sometimes you might be swamped, and no one cares… and sometimes that's true. I know it was for me for a few years. It'll tale years to heal, and even then it'll take even longer before you can face yourself in the mirror and love the person there. I'm slowly reaching that point. It's taken big steps, and sometimes crawling myself up the hill, but now that I'm almost to the top, I find there's a pair of hands there, held out to me. At first I didn't want to take it, ashamed of myself, hurt because that same hand had hurt me so much the years prior… but after coaxing, and plenty of bitching, I think I can finally take that hand, and hold it tight.
Thanks all so much!!!
Lady Pickles, aka, The Cornflake Girl
xXx
"Find, Glory, Beyond the cheap colored lights
One song, Before the sun sets,
Glory, On another, Empty life
Time flies, Time Dies
Find Glory, One Blaze Of Glory."
One Blaze Of Glory
He stood on the stage, licking his dry lips, hand on the microphone. He looked out to the people in the dim bar, filled with thick smoke, and sweaty bodies, the windows shut, and the eyes scattering around the room, looking for someone to hold, someone to love. Just for a night, praying the alcohol will give them just one more night. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, and turned slightly, beckoning for his guitar to be brought over. A small lackey ran over, handing the ancient acoustic to him, paint chipped, strings loosing their color, well used, well loved.
His fingers ran over a few bars, the crowd watching in expectancy. They knew from him would come a moments entertainment, a moment of getting lost, pretending they didn't exist. A moment of losing themselves into the sway of the crowd, becoming one with the people, instead of an individual. For once… being accepted as they were, and not as they pretended to be.
He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath of the nicotine laced air, and sighed out, before beginning to strum. It was a simple song, with power chords that beat through the night, and made your head bob in synchronized rhythm. When he sang, the crowd sang with him. When he played the power ballad, people wept with joy. This song was for them, the lost ones, the lonely ones.
The ones who were still looking for themselves in the mirror, and only finding a broken shell.
Luxord opened his eyes, again, and swayed side to side, singing powerfully into the microphone. He'd often lied to himself that this was all he needed. The microphone, the crowd, the guitar. But in reality, he needed more. Someone to hold himself, someone who cared for him, even if he had something extra… something more. Something people thought as bad as leprosy. He wasn't a whore, it was only one time… but it only took one time to shut him off for life. Now a recluse, a shadow of a once vibrant man stood on the stage, strumming, singing his weakening heart out.
What he didn't notice, was a man in the crowd, a cigarette to mouth, green eyes filled with admiration, with pride. The red-head was leaning back against the wall, wearing a pair of tight leather pants, and no shirt, his belly pierced with a green gem, red hair as vibrant as fire. He had been watching the singer from time to time, the man having caught his eye. He always stood, and broke himself on the stage for these people, bled his entire being, guts on the stage, till he was hallow in the end. It was always quite a performance. But he knew those eyes, the fingers, the body, the way it moved.
Eyes that beckoned him. So every time this band played, he made sure he came here, to watch him. He smiled proudly, seeing the man work himself over again, playing like he was living for the day, and not the future. He wished he had as much confidence as the lead singer, and he held himself gently, swaying to the music. When he opened his eyes, green met azure.
And they were lost.
xXx
"You sing here every night?" Axel asked, his green eyes bright with interest, watching the singer, whom he'd learned was Luxord. He'd been highly entertaining all night, and he was madly in love with his voice already. A thick British accent that made the words roll beautifully off his tongue.
"Not every night, can't." Luxord grinned, as he took a swallow of his beer, looking at his new-found companion.
"Ah, well… when you playing next?"
Luxord thought about that for a moment. He never scheduled himself… because he never knew if he was going to make it or not. His time reaching an end, the rope beginning to snap. He could feel it fraying, and knew it was almost his time. He gently held a hand to his chest, looking down at the table, unable to answer. He didn't know how to answer, it didn't seep possible. Would he wake tomorrow? Would the nightmare ever end? Would someone care? He just never had anymore answers.
As the silence went on, Axel continued to watch him, eyes steady, and open. He knew that look, and his heart went out to the man. Before he could think about it, he had reached over and took one of the singers hands, squeezing it, eyes comforting when Luxord looked up at him in slight shock. The two looked at one another in easy companionship, a heavy secret lay between them.
Axel knew he wanted to hold this man, and he sighed, continuing to keep the big hand in his, looking at how slender his was next to the mans. And he ran his fingers over the veins, and slowly, Luxord pulled his hands back.
"I can't afford a one-night stand." He cleared his throat, his hand grabbed again.
"Let me be your friend."
The two looked at one another again, and fell even deeper under the surface.
"You'll only get burned."
"Then let us light up the sky."
xXx
The two were walking down a street, grinning as the sun was on them. Alex was admiring how the light was playing with the platinum blonde hair of the singer, and how his eyes seemed to glow with happiness. Just having Axel by him seemed to make his day, living every moment as if it were his last one. It had been a week, and Axel was finding himself trying to spend every moment with this remarkable man.
He didn't say much, Axel didn't know anything about his past, but he knew his personality, and what lay beneath. That was enough wasn't it? He bumped their hips together playfully, and smirked at Luxord's boyish grin. The singer wore a pair of ripped jeans and a gray torn tank, his plaid shirt wrapped around his waist, and Axel complimented him with a fitted pair of pants, and a flowery top that flowed around him serenely.
As they joked, heading closer to the store, Axel poked Luxord, before running, taking off across the park, laughing, as Luxord ran after him, playing along. The two made it down the path, the sun warm on their skins, and the birds flying overhead. Axel nearly ran over a kid, but he bounced around him, and continued on down the path, Luxord stopping to apologize to the child, before resuming on.
Axel laughed loudly, as he bounced, Luxord tackling him into the grass, the two falling into a squirming heap. They rolled together, trying to get away, yet draw closer. There was no denying the attraction. Like flames to a moth, they were getting drawn to the warmth of each others eyes.
Finally they rested on their backs, looking to the sky, Luxord threw an arm over his eyes, and sighed, smiling, as Axel rolled on his side. Placing a hand on Luxord's broad chest, he dipped his head down slightly, and looked at him peacefully.
"May I…?"
Luxord moved his arm away, to look up at Axel, and he breathed out softly, biting his lip, looking away. "We can't."
"I don't care."
"I won't."
"I love you."
Luxord looked back at him, sitting up sharply. His eyes sharp, and hurt. "How? We've only known one another for so long!"
"Love doesn't need boundaries Luxord, just two people who care." Axel raised his hand up to frame Luxord's face. "And I want to kindle the flames before my ballad ends."
Luxord looked at him with a frown, closing his eyes, and shook his head, sighing. "I have…" A finger was held to his lips, and he opened his eyes again.
"I know. Give me what time you have left." Axel said, and then replaced his finger with his hips. It was a chaste one at first, but slowly the fires grew, and Luxord's arms went around Axel, knocking him back, trailing kisses over Axel's lips, Axel's hands in Luxord's hair, trading sweet kisses with his own ones, desperate to taste each other.
Slowly they parted, and Luxord smiled down at him, his heart thudding, Axel held a hand over his chest, breath going away with the way the sun framed the back of Luxord's head, making it look like a halo above him.
"Life's to short babe, time is flying…."
"So let's light up the stage, and give them a show."
xXx
"This the one you wanted?" Luxord held up the DVD, which was a video of Spaceballs. Axel nodded furiously, grinning like a loony.
"Yeah, I love that movie. Mel Gibson is a riot."
"Sure is." Luxord returned the smile, popping in the DVD, pressing play, and switching the tuner on his television. Then picking up the popcorn bowl, he made his way over to the older couch, sitting down and letting Axel cuddle up against him.
The two watched the screen play before their eyes, and the held each other, occasionally trying to eat popcorn, most of it getting into their clothes and the couch, because they were too busy watching the movie unfold before their eyes. Luxord turned his head when he was trying to look for the bowl, finding Axel asleep against his arm, his face serene, peaceful, gentle. Luxord raised a hand to frame Axel's face, and stroked the face, marveling at the soft skin. He bent down, pressing lips to Axel's forehead, before pulling back, and looking at the movie, smiling softly, an arm wrapping around Axel, drawing him closer, before settling down to let himself drift off as well.
xXx
"We should get this one!" Axel said, holding up a massive box of pocky, grinning at Luxord, looking up at him, holding his hand, swinging the two limbs between them. Luxord looked down at the box with a raised brow, frowning.
"Do you know what that much sugar will do to you?"
"Fuck yeah!"
"Alright…" He sighed, shaking his head, and turning to check out, basket of milk, eggs, bread, and sausage in one hand for the next morning, Axel's hand in the other. They made their way to the line, and checking out, the cashier didn't even spare them a passing look other than bidding of goodnight.
They walked out into the night, the summer breeze warm on their bodies, the people passing them by as the day went on. Axel held the pocky to his chest like a valued prize, and wiggled happily, resting his head on Luxord's shoulder, nuzzling him. "What should we do tonight?" Axel asked, looking up at him, as they made their way over a block to Luxord's apartment.
"I don't know… what do you want?"
"A private show…" Axel smiled up at him happily. "Play for me tonight please?"
They'd been together for more than a month now, and Luxord sighed, looking at him before smiling softly.
"Alright."
Axel giggled madly, leaning against him happily, as they went up to the apartment.
xXx
"Without you… the seasons change, the leaves turn, the grass grows… but I die…"
Luxord sang gently, playing over his guitar with a gentleness that came with everything he did for Axel. Taking his time, and enjoying every moment. He was getting sicker. Axel knew. The redhead sat on the bed with him, watching him with peaceful eyes, reaching a hand out to touch his arm, smiling as he placed.
"Beautiful." He complimented.
"Only for you…" Luxord whispered back, looking at Axel with a faint smile.
They two leaned forward, and kissed their passion out, Axel held him, needy, almost greedy with his kisses, his tongue dipping in, tasting forbidden fruit. They dipped in deeper, the guitar being put set aside, and Axel leaned back till he was laying on the bed, pulling Luxord with him, arms around his neck. "I love you." Be breathed through each word, teasing, tasting him.
"I love you too…" Luxord whispered back, pressing kisses over his face, and brushing a hand through Axel's hair. Axel kissed him back, running a hand up, nibbling Luxord's chin.
"Give me tonight…?"
Luxord pulled back, having had this talk before, Axel grabbing Luxord's shirt, looking up at him with a smile.
"I know what I'm risking, but please?" The two looked at one another, and Luxord nodded, looking away.
"Alright."
Pulling his shirt over his head, Luxord looked down at Axel with some fear in his eyes. Axel sat up, pulling his own shirt off, then pulled Luxord down for a deep kiss, accepting him, showing him exactly how much he cared.
"Find Glory, A song that rings true,
Truth like a blazing fire
An eternal flame."
The phone was the last thing Axel wanted to pick up as he sat by his bed, twiddling his thumbs. Was it just a mild attack? What was going on? He shook his head, before bending forward, head between his knees, and he rocked back and forth. He let the phone continue to ring, and ring, unsure if he wanted to hear the news, but shakily, he picked it up, holding it to his ear.
"A…Axel speaking."
"This is Doctor Roland… It's about Luxord."
"Yeah…" Axel held his breath, closing his eyes, clenching the phone in his hand.
"Well… it's not good…"
xXx
Axel sat by the bed, looking at Luxord, watching him with a frown, tears streaming down his face. "Just one more night Luxord… one more blaze…." He whispered, squeezing the hand, bending over on the bed, letting out a choking sob. "Come on… wake up…"
The man on the bed didn't move, as he began to slip under, deeper into his mind, himself. His skin paler than pale, dark circles under his eyes. They said the cold he'd contracted was the 24 hour bug, and it was worse than any other they'd seen. They'd given Luxord days. Luckily, he wasn't awake for the pain.
Axel let his head rest in Luxord's lap, crying his heart out, kissing the cold hand, trembling. He rubbed his cheek against the hand, and sobbed heavily.
"Wake up… wake up…."
xXx
The alarm went off, as Axel tried to run into the room, the doctors trying to keep him out. He screamed loudly, his hands outstretched, as he tried to reach Luxord, tears coating his cheeks, and he tried to wriggle past them. They wouldn't let him in, doctors surrounding Luxord, watching the monitors, yelling at each other, pointing, scurrying around the room, shocked.
The heart monitor was racing loudly, the beeping the only thing Axel was hearing, as all other sounds faded to the background, his screams dying out with the empty flat line of the monitor. The doctors felt still, and stopped, letting go of the screaming redhead as he ran over to Luxord, hands searching madly for a pulse, for anything.
When nothing was found, he crawled onto the bed, uncaring of all who was there, holding Luxord to his chest as he cried, rocking them back and forth, his heart bleeding all over the place. Doctors pulled off their masks, and bowed their head, scratching the back of their necks, slowly filing out, looking back in pity at the man crying, breaking.
"Come back… come back…" Axel choked out, kissing blonde hair, burying his face in it, breathing in Luxord's scent. "Come back…"
xXx
The sun shone just like any other day, the children ran around the park, playing. Axel had his hands in his pockets, looking skinner, weaker. His eyes shadowed with black circles, and he coughed into a hand, as he looked around, waiting. Slowly a man came up to him, slightly jumpy, as the two traded words, and Axel paid him for a small packet of white substance. Unable to take the loss of Luxord, he'd given in to the lure of drugs.
Stuffing the illegal substance into his pocket, he hunched slightly, and began to walk from the park, falling to his knees when a biker went by him too fast. Stumbling back up, he wobbled down out of the park, hearing children's laughter die out, cars whizzing by, and people chatting on their phones. They didn't care if someone died, if someone fell below the surface.
Making his way down, he coughed some more, as he made his way into an ally, while the sky began to rumble. With shaking hands, he fell against a heap of bags, filled with clothes and other stuff. He hadn't been able to keep his job once they found out he'd gotten AIDS…. They'd just fired him off. Unable to pay off his bills, he was evicted, and now he lay a homeless man, staring up at the rain.
"Without you… the birds fly, the streets grow, the sun shines… but I die…"
He whispered, closing his eyes, pulling a guitar over his stomach, and cradled the broken instrument. A year had gone by. They didn't even properly bury Luxord, just shoved him in a furnace, and burned him. Axel wasn't even allowed to see the ashes… they had to burn the disease from the body so no one else caught it. Dangerous.
He cried some more, rain spilling on his face, mixing with his tears, and he opened them up, looking to the sky.
"We had a blaze though, didn't we? One blaze of glory." He whispered, clutching the guitar, knowing he was going to be following Luxord soon, falling back against his bags, closing his eyes, and sighing, breathing out, waiting for the pain to take him away.
"Find, One song, A song about love, Glory
From the Soul of a young man, a young man
Find, the one song, before the virus takes hold
Glory, Like a sunset, One song, to redeem this empty life
Time flies, and then no need to endure anymore, Time dies…"
"One Song Glory" from the movie RENT
xXx
This was written in screen-shot format, so there's not much detail except a few minute clips. I know it's not too detailed or anything, but you know… I don't mind. Hahaha. So I guess it's fine. :3 Hope you enjoy it, and REVIEW PLEASE!!!
Muuurrr. Tiem for dinner!
P.S.S.
AIDS: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome
PLAYLIST: (All songs are from the RENT soundtrack)
"One Song Glory"
"Will I Lose My Dignity"
"Your Eyes"
"Without You"
"Out Tonight"
"La Vie Boheme"
"Seasons Of Love"
