Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl; the title is taken from the musical Next to Normal.

A/N-This piece is pre-series. Feedback is always appreciated.


He always watches her. It sounds a lot creepier than it actually is; he does it because he's concerned for her.

He watches her as she stares at Nate and Serena, who always flirt openly in front of her. He watches as she pretends nothing is wrong as her mother says awful things to her, in front of her closest friends.

No one else is watching her and he feels that someone needs to. She's vulnerable, more than she will ever let on.

Chuck knows though. He cares for her; he always makes a point of being there when she needs him, no matter what he is doing at the time. He cares more than he would ever admit (he would also never admit that the butterflies started long before that night in the limo—that was just when they were released).

Because he is always watching, because he is always caring, he's the first to notice. He's the first to notice that she eats more at times—it always seems to be when her mother calls her fat or Nate pays more attention to Serena.

Blair Waldorf is no glutton; she eats a normal amount for each meal, rarely snacking in between. He notices when it changes. He pays far too much attention to her, but he is starting to think that this is a good thing.

"Feeling all right, Waldorf?" he questions one day as she slides back into her seat, glancing at Serena as she laughs at Nate's joke.

She glares back at him because that's what they are on the outside. He makes a crude remark to her, and she glares or rolls her eyes, telling him he is disgusting. No one knows the fact that Chuck cares for her; he wasn't even sure if Blair knows herself.

But she does know that they share a connection. They are both hurt at times and they turn to each other when they need someone the most. Neither can explain it but it is there. The pretending is just on the outside; when they are together, alone, everything is different.

Still, despite the glares that he receives, he presses on. He asks her several more times throughout the coming weeks. She finally gets fed up with him, wanting things to go back to how they normally are. She doesn't want him to care for her; she wants nothing to do with him. This doesn't stop him; it never does. He knows that she wants to be invisible at these times, when she casts glances at everyone around her, hoping no one has noticed that she disappears.

But she finally cannot tolerate him knowing that she is there any longer. "I'm fine, Bass. Leave me alone," she says, her teeth clenched as she walked away from him, disappearing into the crowd.

And he does. He leaves her alone because he is only fifteen and he doesn't know what else to do. He lets her be invisible and he pretends that he doesn't see anything. He invests his interest in other girls, trying his hardest to let her disappear.

It is impossible, though, he soon learns, to just let go of her. As he lets the time pass, he keeps an eye on her still, unable to let her be invisible, even if it is what she wants. He wants to know that she is all right, if it is even possible for her to be all right (which he doesn't think it is, but he doesn't like to think like that).

He continues to watch her as Nate starts to pay more attention to her once again and Serena is more interested in going out with Georgina to find random guys to hook up with. He watches as her mother tells her that her new dress looks beautiful on her. He watches the smile light up on her face and he finds himself smiling (though it vanishes in a second, because he doesn't want anyone else to know), thinking maybe, just maybe, she will be all right.

He continues to think this as the time passes on. He doesn't stop watching her just because she seems to be better than she was months ago. He will never stop watching her, no matter what happens between them.

The day that she calls him was not something that he had been expecting. It is a normal day, the sun is shining and Chuck has taken refuge in his suite after yet another argument with his father, ending in the usual disappointment. He is a lone, with a bottle, just where he wants to be.

That is, until his phone rings. He smirks as he sees her name flash across the screen. "Waldorf, to what do I owe this phone call? Have you finally realized that Nate is just not enough?" He laughs to himself as he says this, a bitter laugh, because he thinks she will never realize that she can have so much better than Nate.

"Chuck." Her voice is a hoarse whisper and he can tell, in an instant, that she has been crying. He sits up in his bed, dropping the bottle that he has been clutching onto, not even caring. "Chuck, I need you."

And in a flash, he is out of his suite and into the limo. The ride to her was painfully long, each passing minute making him feel as though she was slipping away. He cursed traffic and several times almost got out to walk to her.

As soon as he arrives, he runs to her, ignoring Dorota's cries after him. He finds her in the bathroom. She is resting against the wall, clutching her knees to her chest. She's resting her head on her knees, as if she can't hold her head up, and she is staring at her phone. She looks at him as he enters and he can see the tear stains on her face, though she was not crying at the moment.

"Chuck." She is scared, he can tell, and he wants to hold her, but that is not his job (it's Nate's, who he notices, with a small swell in his chest, that she didn't call him to come to her as she breaks down). He is just the friend, the one she lets see the vulnerable side. He is the friend she goes to when she is broken, when she no longer wants things to be invisible.

She repeats his name again and she sounds like a small, scared child. He is reminded of the times when they used to play hide and seek as children and Blair was afraid of the dark.

He wants to help her. He walks towards her, wincing as he sees the contents of the toilet. He doesn't let her see this though, because he doesn't want her to change her mind and send him away. She needs help and he seems to be the only one there for her.

He sits down next to her and he just waits. He waits for her to talk to him, to tell him why. He has so many questions he wants to ask her but he knows she is not ready.

So he waits and he watches her. He watches as she continues to stare at her cell phone, ignoring all calls from Nate and Serena. He watches as she reads a Gossip Girl blast and for the first time since he has been sitting there with her, he sees a glimmer of a smile on her face. He reads the blast and he lets himself smile at her. It is a brief smile though and it is not the usual smile he receives from Blair.

He has no clue how long they sit in the silence for. He's starting to wonder if she has called the wrong person for this. He, after all, is only fifteen, and he doesn't think he's the best person to deal with this.

"They're fighting." It is the first thing she says after their long silence, after the lone smile. "They're fighting and she came in here and told me the new design looks awful on me." She blinks and he knows she is holding back tears. "I just…."

He knows. He has been there. Maybe not through the exact same thing but he knows that she is hurting and that she doesn't know what to do about it. He feels like this more than he will ever admit to anyone, but he just turns to the girls and the alcohol. It is easier than having to face everything and he knows that this is what she is doing.

But she's lost control. He can tell because, again, he's been there. He knows what it feels like to lose control. She doesn't know what to do though and she wants to change it all.

He slips his hand into hers and she doesn't protest him holding onto her like he thinks she will. Maybe in a normal circumstance, she would have shoved him away, laughing it off.

There is nothing normal at the moment.

He holds her hand and she leans her head against the cool wall. They sit there, talking and not talking as the sun goes down around them. They whisper secrets to one another and laugh at memories. She cries and he holds her in his arms and for once, they aren't the Chuck and Blair they portray to the outside world.

They are the Chuck and Blair who are both broken. They are both yearning for approval from parents and it seems that no matter what they do, nothing can be right. Both are in love with someone who is in love with another, neither wanting to admit the truth (at the moment, anyways).

Yes, they are both broken. Broken because of the past and because of the inevitable future. As he looks at her, watching her as she cries, he wants to fix her. She doesn't deserve to be like this.

She's always deserves better.

He wants to fix how she is feeling. He no longer wants Blair, the beautiful girl who he used to tease in kindergarten by pulling her curls, to want to be invisible. He wants the old Blair back, the one who would kick his shin when they would dance together and he would let his hands wander.

He didn't know if he could fix her though. He needed help; he was only fifteen and he did not think that he could possibly do what was needed. It didn't matter how much he loves her (and she doesn't know he does and won't know for years…even though he's wanted to tell her since the moment she kissed him on the playground), he can't do everything for her. He is not Superman, even though he wishes that he was in this moment. He is just a boy and there is only so much a boy can do.

He continues to hold onto her hand throughout the night. She falls asleep on the bathroom floor, clutching his hand, her head resting in his lap. He doesn't sleep; he's too busy making sure that she is all right.

He watches her sleep, the first time he has ever done this (but it will not be the last). He knows that tomorrow, when she wakes, everything will be different. He has told her that she needs to get help and she knows this is the truth. She cannot call Chuck when she needs him to help her come back from being invisible, just because he is the only one aware of what she has been doing to her body.

She wakes in the early morning, blinking and looking around wildly as if she doesn't know where she is. He smirks at her and that seems to remind her of everything. For a minute, he thinks that she is going to break down again and he cannot have that.

She gets a hold of herself though, soon enough. She is still clutching to his hand, acting as though it is some sort of lifeline. He wonders if she knows that he was whispering her name in her ear while she was sleeping, telling her how beautiful she is (because he thinks she is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, no matter what anyone tells her). She seems happier, if only for a fleeting second, and he wants to believe that it is because of what he was telling her while she slept. He is still young and naïve, no matter how mature he appears to be.

They still do not move. She tells him more things and he accepts everything. He almost makes the mistake of telling her but he stops himself in time.

When she finally let go of his hand, he knows. She is ready to stop disappearing. He stands and knows it is time for someone else to take care of her. It is no longer a fifteen year old boy's job.

He still walks with her, down the stairs and he finds her hand finding his again. He gives it a squeeze as she is about to go talk with her parents, who are waiting for her.

She does something that surprises him after she drops his hand once again. She leans in, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. She whispers a thank you and then she is gone, for the first time for him, disappearing.

Things change after that day. They do not bring the night up. It is different for them. Chuck is no longer the one that she calls when she needs help; she has Serena for that now, who has finally realized that her best friend needs her. Even Nate realizes he needs to change. Chuck is the only one who doesn't change his ways at all, because he is who he is. There is no need for him to change, because he knows Blair likes him the way he is.

But she knows that he is there. When she is trying to be invisible, she knows that he is there, watching. He watches through everything, because he cannot let her go. For that night, he was her savior. He watches and he knows that there is a time when she will need him.