Eleanor was just slightly nervous when her parents decided that Easter 1985 was the perfect time to meet the entire Pritchard family. She was minimally worried when they offered to pay the Pritchards' way into London and only marginally horrified when they began preparing an Easter feast the night before.
But, from what Eleanor gathered from his letters, Liam wasn't worried at all. He was actually excited at the promise of seeing her on Easter (his enthusiasm brought a smile to her face in the midst of her completely calm and rational breakdown) as he counted down the days in every post. Eleanor wanted to respond with her concerns, but she knew it would be for naught; he was too focused on the good.
So, Eleanor stayed silent up until the aforementioned day.
It started innocent enough. The Pritchards showed up exactly on time. Liam was the last to walk through the door, hesitating just long enough to greet Eleanor with a kiss. There was a wolf whistle (definitely from one of Liam's brothers) and Eleanor tried to pull away, but Liam's hands moved to cup her face and he kissed her again lightly with a "I'm going to ignore him, okay?" Eleanor smiled and leaned into him, only to be interrupted by Eleanor's mother clearing her throat loudly to introduce "the Bennetts' and our Easter feast for our new friends!"
And it really wasn't that bad. Mrs. Bennett and Mrs. Pritchard surprisingly became fast friends. Mr. Bennett decided to strike up a conversation with Sean and Lindsay about their little one while Graham mashed together all of the food in front of him. Then there was Conner and Olivia who began to discuss their want for children "as soon as possible."
This immediately caught the attention of the two older women across the table.
"Are you sure you want children that soon?" Mrs. Pritchard began. Liam sighed, glancing at Eleanor with a quick roll of the eyes. She knew this was a frequent topic in the Pritchard household and he was sick of hearing it.
"Oh, Charlotte, you can't be too hard on them," Eleanor's mother was quick to chime in. Eleanor winced; she knew what was coming. "They're married and clearly want children. And isn't it wonderful – being a grandmother?"
Mrs. Pritchard gestured to Sean and Lindsay. "I can wait since my oldest has already made me a grandmother-"
Eleanor groaned.
"We always counted on our oldest for children too." Liam caught on – his hand reached for Eleanor's and he squeezed reassuringly. "It seems like ever since she was a young child, Eleanor has been against the idea of having children which has always been fine with us." Mrs. Bennett paused, looking over at Eleanor. Eleanor could have sworn she saw tears in her mother's eyes. "Completely okay. Most parents look forward to becoming grandparents, but it's okay."
She couldn't take it; Eleanor tore her gaze away and stared determinedly down at her plate. She could feel everyone's eyes on her as they pitied her parents and her "horrible choices."
Her mother was wrong though. She hadn't always been against the idea of children. At least, not when she was child. Her sister had been the only person to make her realize that maybe – just maybe – it wasn't a bad thing.
-x-
"Ivy," she called out softly, teetering on her toes in the doorway, "Are you awake?" Eleanor paused before raising her voice slightly, "Ivy?"
This time, the bed across the room creaked loudly and she heard a sleepy, "Eleanor, go to bed. Santa won't come if you're awake."
Panic gripped her. "I have to stay awake."
This time, Ivy didn't pause before responding. Instead, she saw her sister sit up. "Why?"
Eleanor wrung her hands, trying to ignore the tightness in her chest that made her want to throw up. "I don't want some stranger to break in."
"Oh, Eleanor. Come here." She hesitated on the tips of her toes for a couple seconds before bolting over to Ivy's bed and crawling under the covers. Ivy pulled the comforter over both of them. "Why are you afraid of Santa Claus? He's just going to bring you some gifts."
"He's going to break into our house, Ivy." Eleanor shivered. "Some old man is gonna come in without asking. What if he hurts us?"
"He's not. I promise."
"You don't know!" Eleanor couldn't stop thinking about the bearded man who was going to force his way into their house – probably by breaking a window since they didn't have a chimney. Even if he was going to leave presents, it didn't justify a stranger wandering through their home. He could easily decide to go mad and hurt everyone instead of leaving gifts.
"Eleanor." Ivy paused to wrap her arms around her still shivering sister. "He'll have to get through me before he could ever get to you."
But Eleanor couldn't stop tears from rolling down her cheeks. "I still don't like it, Ivy. I don't want him here."
Ivy sighed, hesitating for a few moments before saying, "Hey, I saw you with my copy of Sense and Sensibility yesterday. I thought we promised you'd let me read it to you and you wouldn't try taking it again."
"It's my favorite," Eleanor whispered.
Ivy chuckled. "Of course it is. It has your name in it."
Eleanor blinked, trying to get rid of the tears in her eyes. "But I also like the characters in that one. And Northanger Abbey."
Ivy wrinkled her nose. "Pride and Prejudice has the best characters."
"You just like Darcy," Eleanor exclaimed, a sudden sly smile appearing on her face. "He reminds you of that one guy you like at school. You know – the one you write about -"
Ivy's eyes grew large. "You read my diary!" She reached out and began to tickle her little sister. Eleanor giggled and tried to crawl out from under the covers, but Ivy held onto her. "Oh no, you read my diary so now you must be punished!"
"Oh, Sirius Black, I'm in looooove with you and I want to kissss you and marry you and be yours forever and ever and ever!" She squealed as Ivy tried to cover her mouth.
"Punishment, I say!" Ivy proclaimed.
"Oh, Sirius Black, you're my very own Mr. Darcy!" Eleanor said, muffled by Ivy's hand.
Ivy pulled away. "So, who's your very own Mr. Darcy then?"
Eleanor had to stop giggling before saying, "I don't even like Mr. Darcy all that much.
"Let me guess. You like Edward Ferrars."
Eleanor shrugged lightly. "He's a respectable man."
"You're seven," Ivy chuckled, "You don't know what makes a man respectable."
"Dad's respectable," Eleanor pointed out. Ivy didn't argue. "And you just say Edward because he's shy and quiet and smart-"
Ivy snorted. "You in boy form."
"But I like Henry Tilney too. He's funny and clever."
"So, if you were to get married-" Eleanor scrunched up her nose at the idea, but didn't stop Ivy from continuing, "He'd have to be shy like Edward and witty like Henry?"
Eleanor didn't answer Ivy's question, instead saying, "And you like this Sirius so much because he's – what? - handsome like Darcy?"
She expected Ivy to avoid the question like she did, but Ivy responded, "Proud and handsome, I suppose. Arrogant too, but he's loyal and honest and-" She sighed and looked at her sister. "But it doesn't matter anyway. He doesn't know I exist."
Eleanor wanted to reassure her that he did, but she didn't know the mysterious Sirius Black other than what she read from Ivy's diary. All she knew was that her sister had had a crush on him since last year when he bumped her in the hall and said sorry. It started off as a childish thing, but Eleanor could tell it had turned into a serious crush – even though her sister was only thirteen.
"What is your favorite Jane Austen name?" Eleanor decided to change the subject.
Ivy blinked. "Like a name from the books?"
"Yeah. If you had to name something and had to choose a name from the books-"
"Like what mum did with you," Ivy cut in, "If I had a child-"
Eleanor paused to look disgusted. "You want children?"
Ivy shrugged. "Someday probably. Everyone has children-"
"Not everyone!" Eleanor was quick to respond. "I don't want any."
Ivy laughed. "You say that now-"
"I don't," Eleanor insisted.
"Okay, okay," Ivy gave in and then paused to think. "I like Marianne. And Lydia, I suppose, but I don't think I'd be like mum and give my child a Jane Austen name. What about you? Would you?"
Eleanor narrowed her eyes. "I don't want-"
"I know," Ivy interrupted. "But if you find your Edward or Henry and he really really wanted kids, would you still say no?" Eleanor didn't answer, so Ivy pressed on. "Okay, just tell me hypothetically then."
Eleanor curled into herself, holding her knees with her arms. "I know it's the most common and probably boring, but I like Elizabeth the most. I think it's just pretty. My favorite boy name is Edmund because it's also from The Chronicles of Narnia and he's my favorite character."
"So, just in case, you would name your children Elizabeth and Edmund?"
Eleanor didn't answer for some time. To her, it felt like hours, but it was probably only a minute at most. She hid her face in the pillows and thought that maybe – just maybe – Ivy was right. Maybe if Ivy actually got that Sirius Black's attention, then Eleanor would believe that Henry or Edward actually could exist and she could actually want children with that person.
"I guess," she finally admitted out loud.
Ivy laughed softly. "Good. I think I would like to be an aunt one day."
"You'd be a good mum," Eleanor replied, realizing that for the last ten minutes she hadn't even thought about the fact it was Christmas Eve. "I'm not afraid of Santa Claus with you."
Ivy smiled and kissed Eleanor's forehead. "Sleep here then. I'll keep you safe."
-x-
Eleanor glanced up to see her mother still staring at her from across the table. She tried to give her a small smile, but her mother immediately looked down, clearing her throat a couple times before saying, "My niece is expecting though and at least I get to spoil her child rotten."
That same tightness in her chest was back – the one she used to get when she was afraid of Santa Claus breaking into her house. Eleanor tried to take a deep breath, but she only gasped and choked silently.
Liam noticed immediately and he pulled lightly on her hand. "You okay?" he asked.
She meet his gaze and kept it for a long time. It probably looked suspicious to everyone else at the table. Actually, she wouldn't have been surprised if Liam's brothers were making fun of them.
She knew what Liam was thinking; he was nervous about how she felt by the invasive questions. He already knew her stance on children; she hoped it still didn't startle him when people brought it up. At least, he didn't seem startled. Just worried about her.
She thought about just telling him that she was fine, but that wasn't what came tumbling out of her mouth. "Favorite Jane Austen name?" she asked quietly.
His brow furrowed and he took his time before answering, "I haven't really read any Jane Austen except parts of Sense and Sensibility and that's only because you told me it's where your name came from."
"That's okay." Eleanor gave him a reassuring smile.
So he didn't have brown eyes like Henry Tilney and he wasn't engaged to be married to another woman like Edward Ferrars (of course, that was a good thing, thank goodness), but it didn't matter to Eleanor.
Not at all.
"We'll work on it," she told him.
So, it's not very Christmassy, but here's my annual Christmas one-shot. It could totally be a part of Don't Stop Believing, but that story has a set timeline (if I ever get to writing it), so it would have messed everything up if I included this.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, everything! Thanks for reading!
