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Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or anything that has to do with it…only my mind is my own…
Isshin Kurosaki sipped green tea from the cup in front of him. The black haired shinigami sat cross legged in front of a low wooden table, looking across at the woman who had been his mentor since he first enlisted in the Gotei 13. "Unohana-taicho, I understand your concern, but I believe my girl is ready. She's not a child anymore, and as disturbed as I am by the frequency with which I ward off young boys, she is quite a capable young woman. I am very proud of the path I took through the Gotei 13 and I couldn't be prouder of her if Karin follows in my footsteps."
The benevolent woman smiled minutely as she drank from her own cup. Her eyes alighted on the haori he wore over his normal black robes. Sometimes it was hard for her to believe he had advanced through the ranks so quickly. "Kurosaki-taicho, you already have one son in the court guard squads that takes on some of the most dangerous missions. Do you really want a daughter who displays similar potential to do the same? You only have three children."
Isshin rubbed his eye, trying to get rid of the headache that had plagued him these last few days. "I understand the risks, though I'm not sure she does quite yet. That is why I'm asking you to take her to serve in the fourth division first, as I did. We all know Byakuya has his eye on her and would love to get her into the sixth."
Retsu Unohana's smile became a gracious, if chastising one.
"My, my, Byakuya-taicho deserves no less respect than you give me."
Isshin grumbled something under his breath. He didn't particularly like the Sixth division's Captain, Byakuya Kuchiki. He always came off to Isshin as a high-and-mighty pretty boy, who earned his position not through skill and hard work, but through politics. And Isshin hated politics.
"I will consider your offer," Unohana told him, partially to shut him up about Byakuya. "Depending on how she does on her next exam."
***
Karin Kurosaki flopped into her seat in the exam room of the Shinigami Academy. She was tired, she hadn't studied one bit and she fully intended to sleep during at least one part of the exam. She reached into her bag and produced not a pen, but part of a battery of snacks prepared by her domestically inclined twin Yuzu. Grinning voraciously, she tore into the cakes and sweets.
"Miss Kurosaki!" the instructor called.
Through a mouthful of her favorite cake, she responded. "Yesh, Aishen-shenshei?" A gulp cleared her mouth of the rest of the food and she smiled sweetly.
"Do you have something there you would like to share with the class?"
Karin gulped. If Aizen-sensei told a student to share with the class, he very well intended for the student to do exactly that. The teacher and Captain was notoriously strict, and she had heard stories of student torture that couldn't possibly be true.
"Nooo…" she said slowly, cursing herself for making it sound suspicious.
Captain Aizen smiled, amused and pushed his wood framed glasses up his nose. "Come now, Karin-chan. I'm sure you can share just a little."
"YEAH KARIN-SAN!" an annoying voice yelled. "Share with the class!"
A boy leapt over the nearest row of desks diving for the bag of sweets. Karin lifted her hand without looking at the boy, a blank expression on her face. As she called her vast spiritual pressure to the tip of her finger. "Sho."
The kido slammed into the surprised student and he sailed backwards, landing on the ground with a loud OOMPH!
Laughter erupted from the other students at the display and Aizen didn't bother to try and quell it for a long while. The lecture hall filled with the sound of youthful amusement, and gave Karin time to wolf down another treat. When it finally died down, Karin put on her best sweet face, the one she used to manipulate her goofy father to do anything she wanted.
"Aizen-sensei, I don't understand why I have to take this test. I've already fulfilled all the requirements to graduate and my brother didn't even have to attend the academy!" It was true. Mostly. Her brother Ichigo was basically born with his zanpakutou in his hand, and by the time he was of age to attend the academy, his father had already adopted him into his unit. She was required, however to take the test. Which was exactly why she protested. And Karin could raise hell to get her way.
The quiet man smiled kindly behind his glasses and sat behind his desk. "Karin-chan," he replied, without a hint of authority in his voice. "We all know you will be a great Shinigami, but consider, since you've learned Kido you're already leagues ahead of where your brother was at your age. And also, if you finish at the top of the class in this next test, you will be ahead of Hitsugaya-san for graduation."
As if that concluded the matter, Aizen turned around without another word, digging into a pile of papers, preparing them for the test.
Karin flopped back down in her seat with a frown, eying the white haired boy Aizen had mentioned. He sat apart from everyone else not by choice, but because the other students did not want to sit close to the icy genius. Indeed, the nine seats directly around him were completely vacant, though students were packed into every other seat in the room.
"But we already know he's going to get like a billion percent on this test!" Karin still complained. "He already said he's actually going to try."
Aizen, back turned, didn't answer.
"Its only because Shiro's a weirdo," one of the students behind her yelled, feeling bold. The response drew a chorus of laughs from the class and more of her ire than she expected. Karin gritted her teeth. The kid was a weirdo, but that didn't make him any less of a person.
She stood. "That's because both of us have more power in our pinky fingers than you have in your whole body, Ganzu."
Karin had no idea why she was defending him, but when she turned to look, he had turned his gaze to her. It was the first time he had reacted to any of the students all year. He had previously seemed completely happy ignoring every attempt to gain his attention. Feeling emboldened, Karin grabbed her bag and flopped pointedly into the seat directly beside Toshiro. She dug around in her bag for her last and favorite piece of cake and placed it in front of him.
The teenage boy merely looked up, blinking. "You should be careful," he said to her, by way of thanks. "If I'm not mistaken someone put paint in that seat."
Karin's eyes bulged but she kept her composure.
"So?" she asked defiantly. "It's just paint."
Toshiro turned back, plucking a bit of the cake into his mouth. She could swear she saw a slight smile flicker across his lips.
***
"But Momo, I-"
"No buts Toshiro! This is the fourth time you've blown me off. And I know where you were."
"Momo, I was training!"
The girl sighed, fidgeting as she adjusted the pink obi tied around her petite waist. "Toshiro, I know, but you said we could spend some time together yesterday. You shouldn't have been training that late and you know it."
The boy sighed, staring at the difficult girl. "Momo, you know you will always hold a special place for me. I know we haven't had a lot of time to spend together lately, but that will change, I promise."
Momo Hinamori's hard eyes softened and she looked up at him. He had gotten much taller since the last time she saw him. It seemed like every time she turned around, he hit another growth spurt, though maybe it was just because she was short. He was no Kenpachi.
She took in the pleading expression that he wore, his handsome features twisted out of their usual cold indifference. Toshiro always seemed so warm around her, so expressive. She couldn't understand how this kind boy she had grown up with had gotten such a bad reputation. His eyes continued to bore into hers with an expression that took her back to a lonely home in the Rukongai, and her heart melted. She knew he had to feel she was special. Why else would he be doing so much instead of acting uncaring?
"Do you promise?"
"Of course," he responded. "You're like a sister to me."
Momo's mouth slid open for a brief second before she turned around and ran.
"Momo! Momo wait!"
Toshiro let her go. Women were so complicated. At least there was one person he knew he could always talk to.
***
"And she ran away?" Karin asked, a smile curling her lips.
"Yeah," Toshiro responded, lost in the memory. "I just don't get it. One day she calls me Shiro-chan like we're back at grandmother's and the next day she runs away when I tell her how I feel about her."
His hands broke off a piece of cake from the slice in his hands. Karin had made it a weekly thing since the day they had met. Every Friday, she baked a cake and brought him a slice. They hadn't been that good, originally, and he had eaten them primarily to keep the one friend he had, but now, he was surprised each week at the flavors and textures she managed to produce. By his count, she was up to two hundred and seventy one cakes. He had no idea what happened to the rest of the sweets. It didn't seem possible that someone could have eaten all those cakes and still be alive.
Karin shrugged, understanding his problem completely. "I won't pretend to understand, but maybe she doesn't want to be your sister."
Toshiro looked up at his best friend. "What?"
"You heard me. I know that eidetic memory of yours captures everything I ever say. Figure it out. Unohana-taicho will be livid if I'm late for another training session."
With that, Karin got up and left the tenth division barracks, leaving Toshiro to his thoughts. From the class weirdo to a miniature Seireitei hero in a short five years, Karin wondered where this female attention he was receiving was coming from. And why her hand was still tightened into a fist as she walked away.
***
"Aww, dad, come on! There isn't a reason in the world that I'm still not your lieutenant! I'm as strong as you are and I don't even have a clue how to use Kido."
"That's why you're not my lieutenant, Ichigo. I want my lieutenant to know Kido. Your sister knows Kido. She's actually quite good. She could be my lieutenant."
"Dad Karin's in the fourth division. Aside from the fact that she's not in your division, I don't think I'd be smart to have someone who can't defeat one hollow be your lieutenant."
"Don't underestimate your sister, boy. She's stronger than you think."
"Yeah, of course, she's my sister after all. But come on. I didn't even go to the academy and I have a Bankai already. Is there any reason at all I can't be a lieutenant? Hell, I'm not even your third seat!"
"What's wrong with fourth seat, boy? You know I was a fourth seat for ten years!"
"Whatever dad. I'm going to see Rukia."
"That Kuchiki girl?"
Karin stood up from her position on the steps to the Kurosaki house. She had been listening in on the conversation since Ichigo's outburst about her being in the fourth division. What did that have to do with anything?
She peeked in through the glass panes on the door, seeing her brother and father standing on opposite sides of the kitchen table. Isshin had his back turned to Ichigo, one fist shaking in what appeared to be barely controlled rage.
"Y-yeah, that's her. What does her being a Kuchiki have to do with anything?"
"Oh…uhh…nothing, son! Just…uhh…if you see Byakuya…give him my…" Isshin cracked his knuckles. "Regards."
"Hey, pops, what exactly are your regards? You don't look like you mean that in the normal way."
"Huh? I dunno what you're talking about! Haha. You'd better get outta here, son."
Isshin shoved Ichigo toward the door and Karin ducked into the bushes with a burst of shunpo just in time to avoid her older brother catching her. He took two running steps before leaping into a nearby tree.
"Make sure you use protection!"
Karin's wry smile came just as she saw Ichigo lose his footing for a brief second before he disappeared, moving too fast for eyes to follow.
Karin turned back to where her father was again, seething with rage, his fist shaking menacingly.
"And break him in two, son. Break him in two. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Karin stepped from the trees and walked past the man while he laughed diabolically, disturbed by her father's behavior.
Yuzu stood in the kitchen, having watched the whole exchange. Unlike her sister, she couldn't decide whether Isshin's attempt at an evil laugh disturbed her or amused her. She sighed, going with the latter and smiled as she chopped up vegetables for the evening's dinner.
"Hey Yuzu. Whatcha doin?"
The brown haired girl looked up from her cooking seeking out clues to her twin's mood. She found them easily, reading the creases etched all over her face.
"What's got you bothered?" Yuzu asked, turning around to throw more vegetables in the pot.
Karin was almost surprised that Yuzu had figured her out so easily. She slumped forward. There were sometimes that she couldn't stand her twin sister, but this time, she loved having her. Sometimes, all she needed was a little girl talk to pep her up.
"I couldn't concentrate in my training session today. Unohana-taicho was really upset. I mean, I've mastered nearly every healing Kido there is, I'm ready to learn some useful stuff, like high level Hado!"
Karin punched the air with her short arms to emphasize the point. "I'm not a little girl anymore, you know? I know its probably dad protecting me."
Yuzu kept her head down and spoke in an even tone to her hotheaded sister. "Karin, I know you want to fight, but maybe its for the best. You've mastered all the things she's taught you, yeah, and you're getting really good at Bakudo, but maybe its better if you know how to heal before you learn how to destroy…"
Karin looked up surprised at the quiet admission from the girl. She read Yuzu's body language as if it were written out on the wall. "Aww, Yuzu, you know Ichigo and Dad will be fine. Not only is Dad best friends with the most amazing healer in the history of Seireitei, but Ichigo…he's like invincible! Have you seen him go? Its like BAM! BOOM! POW!"
Karin resumed punching the air, drawing a tiny smile from Yuzu. "I suppose. But Unohana-taicho can't be everywhere."
Karin sighed, convinced that she'd never convince her sister. She decided to change the subject.
"Hey, guess what? Momo likes Toshiro."
Yuzu's smile grew at the idle gossip, knowing that was completely unlike Karin. She was trying really hard to cheer her up.
"You know you don't care," Yuzu responded, giving her a real smile to let her know she felt better.
Karin saw her grin, but something in her was unsettled at that statement. She looked at the wall, ceasing her impromptu hakuda. "That's the thing, Yuzu. I'm not sure I don't."
***
Toshiro panted with effort and sweat dropped in beads from his soaked brow. His sword Hyorinmaru was having absolutely no effect. His freezing blasts kept meeting their demise on the Captain's impenetrable defense. He stood in the clearing under Sogyoku hill and sheathed his sword. "Taicho, I apologize. I have no hope of beating you."
Isshin smiled at his student and sheathed his own zanpakutou.
"Toshiro, you have nearly unlimited potential," Isshin said. The cool morning air was beginning to warm up as the sun rose higher in the sky. "I don't think there's anyone in Soul Society you can't beat if you continue to work and get better, and that zanpakutou you've got is really something. Just remember. If you don't know you'll win, you've already lost."
Isshin walked past him, patting his right hand on Toshiro's shoulder. The young man gasped as he saw Isshin's pinky finger. It was covered in Hyorinmaru's ice.
I…I hit him…
He stood there surprised as Isshin disappeared in a burst of shunpo. Within seconds, however, Karin Kurosaki burst out of the trees.
"You were awesome, Shiro!" She waved her arms in an imitation of their fight. "Dad was all like, Boom! Go! And you were swinging Hyorinmaru like, Wazow!"
Toshiro watched the girl's antics with a bemused smile. "What are you doing here so early?" he asked her.
Karin immediately let her arms fall to her sides and shrugged. "I dunno. I was bored."
Toshiro turned to face the immense rock they stood under, the dawn's sunlight barely lighting its peak. "Its six in the morning."
Karin cursed herself for not thinking of a better excuse. She took a deep breath and plowed on ahead with the plan she and Yuzu had devised last night.
"So, do you eat that muck in the barracks every night?"
Toshiro looked surprised at the sudden question. "Its not muck. It's a nutritious meal."
Karin smiled weakly. She didn't know whether he realized that she could now guess the answer to her question.
"Don't you ever want home cooking?" Her foot pawed at the ground in front of her as if by some unseen puppet string. She cursed her body for betraying her even as she looked up at him. His turquoise eyes seemed to pull her in. Making what she was doing seem both infinitely difficult and incredibly necessary.
Toshiro looked away again, blushing now. "I can cook," he mumbled. "Not like Yuzu, but I'm decent."
Karin tried to laugh, but it came out short and harsh. "No one can cook like Yuzu. But I wasn't talking about her. Besides, what do you cook, really?"
"I cook ramen mostly… I've gotten pretty good at it, actually."
Karin stifled a giggle, knowing it would be rude to laugh at him.
"Well, how about you come over for dinner today, and I cook?"
Toshiro looked at her levelly, as if peering into her soul before turning back to regard the cliff face before him.
"You know this is my favorite spot in all of Seireitei?" he asked her.
Karin felt her head deflate and the urge to punch him for not answering her question bubbled through her shoulder. "Yeah," she said, deliberately unclenching her teeth.
"It makes me feel so small, so insignificant. I like that feeling."
"Are you kidding? I wanna be where you are right now. You just sparred with a captain, and you're what, a third seat fresh out of the academy? I'm not even a seated officer. I'm just 'Kurosaki-taicho's daughter.' Not to mention I'm in the healing division. I feel insignificant everyday. You're like, important. Every time I overhear someone talking its Histugaya-san this or Hitsugaya-san that. You know they say you'll be a Captain before you're a legal adult."
She looked up at the cliff face too, but what she felt was quite different. It was so large, it seemed close, but in reality it was far away. She felt enormous looking at it, as if she could simply reach out and break a chunk of rock from the tip…
"There's no way I will be a Captain that soon. My birthday this year is coming up, and they say it takes ten years to master a Bankai."
"I think you could do it in less. You've got what, two years till you're legal? You can do it! I know you can!"
The white haired boy said nothing. His chin was turned skyward, and Karin wondered for the briefest of moments how it would feel to have that chin resting atop her head as he held her close…
The next thing she wondered was where that thought came from.
"You know, they talk about you too."
"They do?"
He nodded, but offered no explanation. She didn't need him to elaborate. Her heart surged with pride just knowing her name was on someone else's tongue for something she had accomplished.
"I can't come tonight," he said, finally answering her question.
She shrugged it off, not displaying the surge of emotions that raged beneath her tough skin. "Its cool. I understand."
"How about tomorrow though?"
The emotions disappeared, replaced instantly with a surge of warmth that she didn't know could come from someone who seemed so cold.
"Sure," she said, turning to leave. "That'd be great. Dinner's 7 pm sharp, so don't be late."
He nodded, and for only the second time since she had known him, she saw Toshiro smile.
***
"No, Karin-chan. More gently. Imagine your reiatsu as a needle and thread. Close each wound with the utmost care."
Karin tried, but every time she imagined a needle and thread, her mind made a quantum leap to herself knitting sweaters with Toshiro Hitsugaya's face on them. It had been nearly a week since the conversation about Momo and still, it occupied every other thought.
For the third time, her reiatsu faded, and her healing Kido faltered off.
"I don't think the knitting examples are going to work, Unohana-taicho."
Retsu smiled at the girl knowingly, taking her own hands over the paitent.
It was frustrating to Karin, because she knew that she could heal the injury no problem with her usual techniques. Why Unohana seemed dead set on teaching her this threading technique was beyond her. She could have used practice with her chemistry, or even her poison extraction, but the threading seemed a bit…archaic.
"Why do I have to learn this anyway?"
Unohana again said nothing as she finished healing the wound and an aid hurried the patient away, taking orders for his medication from the captain.
She sent her other aides away and sat down with Karin, a kind look in her eyes.
"Karin-chan, Do you know what the first healing kido I learned was?"
"No, but If I had to guess, I would say this is it."
Unohana smiled warmly. "If you had to guess you would be quite correct. This Kido is so easy to master, I did it with no formal teaching. And what I took years to learn, Karin, you learn completely in days. Your sheer reiryoku reserves outclass all but your own family and a select few around Seireitei. It is inconceivable that you could not learn this simple technique, unless something else is keeping you from learning it."
Karin gulped, not liking what was being suggested.
"You see, normally, this technique is not needed, but in order for you to perform the most effective healing, you must combine this with everything else I've taught you thus far."
Karin frowned, frustrated with her own lack of progress. "When am I going to learn something useful though?"
She had never intended to voice these particular questions, but for some reason, they were leaking out.
"Ichigo and Dad know all this awesome stuff and even Toshiro has a Bankai, I know. I haven't seen him use it but I know he's learned it. I can fight too! I don't want dad protecting me all the time! I know he asked you to tutor me so I couldn't go off fighting, but I want to contribute!"
Retsu looked at the young woman with her customary kind eyes before relaxing into her seat. Karin stepped backward, realizing what she had just done. "Unohana-taicho, i…"
"You've talked, now its my turn."
Karin gulped, prepared for the universally feared Retsu Unohana to tear her a new one.
"Why do you think your father is protecting you? Its true that he requested you serve in the Fourth division. He did not, however, ask me to tutor you. Your abilities made that necessary. You are the most skilled healer I've seen in a dozen generations, yet you don't realize that is your greatest talent. Yes, you have quite the affinity for all kinds of Kido, including offensive spells, and of course, your zanpakutou is a powerful fire type, but this will pale in comparison to the abilities of a healer."
Unohana leaned forward conspiratorially. "Besides, what better way to find out how to take something apart than to put it together?"
Karin's mind reeled as she tried to comprehend all the information at once. Unohana got up and walked out of the room. "I will see you the same time next week, Karin-chan."
Karin followed her out of the room, a whispered "Hai," all she could manage.
***
Toshiro stood uncomfortably outside of the fifth squad barracks while he waited on the fifth seat inside. Momo was taking much too long for his liking. He had agreed to spend some time with her, but for some reason, he couldn't stop thinking about dinner at the Kurosaki residence.
Momo finally emerged, dressed in a beautiful white and red kimono. Her hair was tied back in an intricate pattern that he realized it must have taken her hours to get right. When he met her eyes, they held an intrigue that he was not used to seeing in his childhood friend. She looked…beautiful.
"Momo," he whispered. Instantly berating himself for leaving in his simple blue robe, Toshiro smiled minutely and kept his head low. "You look great!"
The woman smiled, relieved he liked her outfit. She stepped up to him and grabbed his hand playfully. "You look nice too, Toshiro."
He looked up, at the unexpected complement, seeing the truth behind her words written in her eyes. He fidgeted, not quite knowing what to do. "Well, I suppose we should get going…"
Momo smiled, amused by his discomfort. "That sounds good to me. Where are we going?"
Toshiro couldn't remember the name of the fancy restaurant in the eastern Rukongai, so he decided to show her instead. "To eat." He said simply, turning in the direction of the bistro.
***
His reflection kept looking at him.
Toshiro could not stand to see his reflection, especially places where he did not expect it. The shiny silver dishes at the *Lemon Fish bistro*definitely qualified as unexpected. Unable to deal with seeing his own face reflected constantly across every dish on the table, Toshiro took to covering things with excess napkins.
Momo stared amused at the pile of white that obscured half of Toshiro's meal. "Would you care to explain why you're covering everything up," she asked, suppressing a fit of giggles.
Toshiro looked away, adjusting his too-tight collar only to see himself looking back as a waiter passed by on his way to another table. He growled in irritation as he looked back at Momo. "These dishes are…too shiny."
Unable to contain herself, Momo laughed, stifling her display of amusement with her hand. "Toshiro, the dishes didn't do anything to you! You've gotta relax to enjoy yourself."
Knowing she was right, he sighed. "Its just another face looking at me…" His well trained eyes scanned the restaurant and he picked out half a dozen people looking at him discreetly.
"Why does that bother you?" Momo asked innocently, her laughter and amusement gone.
Toshiro looked away again, not wanting to explain, but he knew he'd tell her eventually. And he had to, because he knew he'd tell Karin right away.
"Because…" his voice trailed off, and he was once again standing in front of the Sogyoku Hill with a raven haired vixen at his side.
"Do you know what my favorite spot in Rukongai is, Momo?"
"No," she replied, genuinely surprised by the question. "Where is it?"
"its…right underneath Sogyoku Hill. I always feel like I'm tiny, an insect to a giant. That hill has stood for over two millennia and my lifetime means nothing to it. I could attack the hill with everything I have and not leave a scratch that would last a decade. I feel so insignificant, as if…it doesn't notice me."
Momo looked confused, so Toshiro began to wave her off, telling her to drop the subject, but she pressed on. "No, Toshiro. You don't have to feel like someone is always watching you. The truth of the matter is, no matter what people say, you are always going to be the little Shiro-chan I've known for forever. You can feel insignificant, you can feel small, but as much as people talk, the only person you're really important to is the people you care about most."
Toshiro sighed. Momo's words were true, mostly, but they rang hollow in his ears. He didn't want to be insignificant. Truthfully, he liked everyone's attention. It made him feel important, but he wanted it because they respected him and what he had accomplished. He had no desire at all to be renowned for being that 'white haired genius kid,' or just some 'albino freak.' He wanted attention for the right reasons, and he could not understand why as beautiful as she was, as much as he cared about her and always would, Momo could not see what Karin could.
He sat, picking at his plate, unwilling to eat all the food from it because his forlorn expression would be revealed underneath it. Momo apparently sensed his unease and her hand went to cover his on the table.
"Toshiro, I…"
She wanted to tell him how she felt. She wanted to blurt out that she had never thought of him like her brother, but had secretly harbored her feelings for him since that fateful day he came to her orphanage. She thought back to that moment, the thunder and rain outside her window, shared with four other girls. The door had opened sharply that night, their 'grandma' rushing out to find a boy barely old enough to walk, swaddled in nothing but rags dumped onto the foyer floor. Apparently the people who dropped the child off had no idea that it was an all girls orphanage up to that point. But grandmother did not, and could not care. A needy, gifted child had just been dropped in her lap and he would be the sole brother to come out of the place.
Momo remembered the power she felt while Toshiro was around her. His very energy was electrifying. The night he had been dropped in their orphanage, the rain had become a thick blanket of snow by morning, and as he got older, his energy isolated him from anyone who did not possess his gift as well, making him the loner that he still was. Everyone but grandmother. She would stay by Toshiro's side, even as she would nearly freeze at night just being close to him.
Toshiro sat quietly, picking up his spoon and staring deeply into the reflection. So he was surprised when a deep, gruff voice declared the date the official Kurosaki celebration night. Without dropping his spoon, he turned to the entrance to see a party of five enter the restaurant. A waiter was dispatched to seat the family and Toshiro watched them pass. Isshin, his Captain's Haori draped over the shoulder of the human-style suit he wore, Ichigo, grumbling along as usual, the only person in the entire building dressed casually, Masaki and Yuzu looking like a taller and shorter version of the same benevolent person, and Karin.
She hadn't noticed Toshiro yet, and for that he was glad. The first thing that he noticed was that her short hair was pulled back into an elegant bun, and Toshiro realized he had never seen her dress nicely. She seemed too practical to engage in all the trappings of high fashion, but tonight, she wore a silky, fire red dress that seemed to glow seductively every step she took. Her figure was accented by the fabric and he realized that Karin had become a woman right under his nose. He hadn't realized the standard Shinigami uniform could hide so much. His eyes fell downward to her smooth, strong legs and he felt a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach that would leave him quite embarrassed if he let it continue.
He realized he had been staring and looked away quickly, but he had nothing to be embarrassed about. He noticed a dozen boys and men around the diner whose eyes remained unabashedly glued. Returning his eyes to his spoon-examination seemed such a petty gesture now. Toshiro put it down, embarrassed. He looked up to Momo's eyes to see her confusion hidden behind them. She had followed his gaze. It wasn't difficult.
"Is that her?"
Toshiro gulped. "Her?"
"Yes. The other woman who has your attention?"
A mouth opened and closed, offering more explanation than words could allow. A heart broke silently in two.
"Momo, its not like that, she…"
The woman waved his explanation away, her distress running in streaks down her soft pink cheeks.
"I don't understand Toshiro. I really don't. Is she prettier than I am? Is she smarter? Does she care about you more?"
Having no answers to these questions, he remained silent. His eyes flicked over to the Kurosaki table briefly, surprised when they met a dejected-looking Karin's own. His breath caught, and only then did he realize what she must think. It was her who had told him that Momo actually liked him in the first place, and now to see, not even a day after they had shared the sunrise, that he was dressed up and taking her out, it must have crushed her. His mouth went dry. He was in trouble.
Looking back to Momo, he realized that she had again, followed his gaze to the other woman. Rather than run away this time, Momo decided to spare him the embarrassment. If he had no interest in her, fine. She could be just as cold as the legendary ice dragon he wielded everyday.
"I believe I'm finished, Hitsugaya-san. May we take our leave?"
Toshiro eyed the half-full plate in front of her curiously, wondering why she had addressed him as if he were a stranger. "Of course, Momo-chan."
There it was. It nearly broke her. The affectionate nickname, spoken completely casually that she had been waiting years to hear him utter. She composed herself and stood, waiting patiently while he took care of their tab. She waited pointedly at his side, feeling the angry pair of dark eyes burning into her back. A smile of smug satisfaction came across her face that she could have him at least this one night.
***
Isshin's laughs bounced off the walls of the Kurosaki residence. He, like most of the family, was in high spirits. Karin smiled at her father's goofy antics, but Yuzu alone knew that Karin's smile was as false as her own. So she made some excuse about having to help Karin out of her dress and she hurried Karin off to her room. The dark haired twin flopped onto her bed, arms spread eagled, without even taking off her shoes.
Yuzu sat on her bed's side, concern wrapped around her soft features. "Karin-chan, you can't go beating yourself up for tonight. It was an accident that he ended up in the same restaurant as us, nothing more."
Karin shook her head vehemently. "No, Yuzu, you don't know him like I do! It wasn't an accident, he's just stupid! He spars with dad all the time, I'm sure dad told him about the restaurant cause its his favorite and the idiot doesn't even know about any other ones."
"So? Whats wrong with that? Do you know any other ones?"
Being stumped by that particular question didn't improve Karin's mood at all.
"Look, there's nothing you can say to make me feel better, Yuzu. I was an idiot to think Toshiro would like me anyway. He's all powerful and stuff and I'm a fourth division nobody."
Yuzu sighed, showing the exasperation she felt. She turned her attention to helping Karin out of her dress, pulling off her sister's shoes. "Being in the fourth division has nothing to do with your love life."
Karin stood, letting her twin help, but her cynicism did not waver. "Have you noticed that Unohana-taicho isn't married or anything?"
Yuzu ground her teeth in a very Karin-like fashion.
"Its because she runs the fourth. And it has everything to do with it. Do you know who's my immediate superior? His name is Hanataro Yamada. I think he's probably the most worthless, bumbling piece of dung that ever crawled out of the academy, but he's a good healer, so he's the seventh seat! I mean, he probably couldn't kill a hollow hamster, but somehow he's my superior. That should tell you what Soul Society thinks of me. I'm only fit to clean barracks and flush sewers. That's all. What does someone like Toshiro want with that?"
Yuzu, though honestly surprised that her sister was being so vocal, wished she would stop talking. She unzipped the back of the dress and stepped away from her sister. "Karin," she said angrily. She didn't know what her next words would be, but she could not stand to see her proud twin disparaging herself so much over a boy.
Karin turned to face her, a bored, placid expression locked on her face. The normally delicate Yuzu was infuriated. How dare she stand there as if Yuzu weren't even trying to help! How dare she act like she wasn't half of everything that Karin was! How dare she! The slap came as a shock to both of them. The sharp crack, the surprised look on Karin's face and the red welt that sprang up on her cheek. It was the first time Karin had hit anyone.
Yuzu immediately feared what Karin's reaction would be. The girl was as aggressive as their older brother sometimes, but she acted…like herself. Karin couldn't meet yuzu's eyes, the forlorn expression tagging her features giving way to a rueful grin. "I was being pretty stupid huh?"
Yuzu laughed minutely. "Yeah, I guess you were."
And that was that. Nothing else needed to be said between the two. Yuzu went downstairs and Karin slipped out of the dress, examining herself in the mirror. Her body had definitely grown in the right areas, and she had gotten accustomed to the shape that resulted, but she had never deemed herself desirable before. She had never had reason to style her hair and wear dresses. In fact, she usually felt revolted at the very thought. But something about Toshiro's glance at that dinner almost made her want to change her mind about that. Almost. Karin slipped into loose fitting grey sweatpants and a solid blue cami, rolling the lip of her pants down and forgoing a bra for comfort.
She knew her chosen dress would infuriate her overprotective father, but she didn't particularly care what Isshin thought. Pulling out the pins that held her shoulder length black hair in place atop her head, she headed downstairs. Before she even got halfway, she found her mother standing disapprovingly on the stairs. "Karin, there's someone here to see you," Masaki said, arms folded across her chest.
"But its eleven at night," the girl protested. "Who would be here to see me?"
Masaki's normally kind face was looking skeptically at her attire as she passed headed for the front door. Ichigo and Isshin stood on either side of the door like some sort of royal guard as she opened it.
And immediately slammed it shut. Her heated cheeks betrayed the anger she felt that he would even dare to come over after…after that display!
"Karin!" Toshiro's protest came muffled through the door. "I just came to talk! Its not what you think!"
"I don't want to talk to you!" she hollered back, without even cracking a window. "Go away weirdo!"
She gasped, instantly regretting her choice of words and pulled the door open immediately. Only the cool night air waited on the other side.
Karin looked back at Isshin standing to her right. The disapproving look he had on his face was mirrored on the rest of her family. She looked to them, one by one, but found no warmth between them. She turned last to Yuzu, pleading with her eyes, but Yuzu found something interesting on the polished wood floor to inspect instead.
Karin, feeling a well of emotions spring forth that she for once had no idea how to suppress, took a step into the night, feeling the goosebumps spring up on her bare arms as she did. She ran as fast as she could. Almost fast enough to miss Isshin speak up to Ichigo.
"Watch out for your sister tonight."
***
Toshiro stepped out of the late spring evening and into his quarters, flopping down onto his bed. That was it. He was done with people. It was his fault, really. Somehow, he had managed to mess up things with Karin and Momo in the same night. And all he had wanted to do was make them happy. Spend some time with Momo one night, spend some time with Karin the next evening. It seemed so simple. What had gone wrong?
With all his immense brainpower, Toshiro simply could not understand women. Momo was one story. She seemed like the perfect woman. Pretty, smart, talented, powerful, yet peaceful, quiet and supportive. Karin, however, was different. She was loud and brash and aggressive. Powerful for sure, but the soft touch of a healer lay under that tough exterior.
He thought back to the first day he had formally interacted with her. She had seemed so confident and self-assured. Even when she walked the rest of the day with brown paint marring the back of her white and red uniform, she never acknowledged it, never lost her composure. He envied that surety. But he felt terrible now, as if it were all his fault that it seemed to be gone from her. Still, tomorrow was Friday. She couldn't possibly be angry enough to forgo baking a cake this week. It would be the first week in five years he had gone without, and neither his heart nor his stomach looked forward to it. Toshiro rolled over and pulled the covers over him, falling into a fitful sleep.
***
Karin couldn't sleep. She sat cross legged on a branch twenty feet above the ground. In front of her, Sogyoku hill towered into the sky, filling her vision with an unflinching wall of stone. Behind her, Ichigo's massive reiatsu pushed at her consciousness, distracting every cohesive thought she could muster. She had tried meditating, tried everything she could think of to distract herself, but to no avail. Why did this have to be so complicated?
In any other relationship, she'd go apologize to her friend and they would squash it. Her understanding of emotions failed her when it came to this. It was as if the answer was so simple, yet so complicated and fine at the same time. She could think of a dozen things to do that would make the situation better than it currently was, a dozen salves and healing kidos to repair Toshiro's emotional wounds, but none of them seemed like the right answer. She grunted in frustration, an animal sound that told everyone around she was not happy.
She decided to take that anger out on the nearest person to her.
"Ichigo, you can go home now. I don't need that thundercloud of reiatsu hanging out behind me all night."
A rustle of leaves, the slightest grunt of effort. Ichigo alighted beside her and flopped down comfortably on the branch, causing it to sway.
"Ya know, Karin, its pretty cold out here. You're gonna catch a cold."
She snorted at her brother's comment. Didn't he know who he was talking to? Karin pushed out the slightest bit of her spiritual energy and her body immediately warmed. A blast of heat hit him changing his mind about the comment.
"Alright! nevermind, geez. Turn it off, firebug."
Against her own better judgement, she grinned at Ichigo's nickname for her. He had originally given it to her when she was first discovering her power. Like a child that had discovered a new toy, she had used it to light everything in her general vicinity, often requiring assistance from Isshin's own water-element zanpakutou to put it out. Ichigo had likened her to a bug that was on fire and didn't know it, burning up everything she touched and never looking back at it.
"I wish I wasn't firebug with my friends," she muttered.
"Why don't you tell me about it."
Karin scowled. Like hell he'd get her to spill so easily. "Why so you can tell Rukia all about it tomorrow?"
Ichigo turned to face his little sister, surprised yet again by how much she'd grown. It wasn't a tomboyish punk that sat beside him, but a young woman.
"Nah, this one stays between us. Why are you so upset at Toshiro?"
Before she could hold herself back, Karin launched into an explanation, detailing how she felt and what he had done and why she now sat at his favorite spot, wishing that he'd step into the clearing and look up at Sogyoku hill with her.
She turned her head away as she finished and Ichigo cocked his eyebrow. "That's kind of a lot for somebody as small as you to be holding in, isn't it?"
She smirked in amusement, but didn't let him see. The last thing she needed was to give Ichigo's big head another boost. "Ichi-nii, I've always been there for him, but now I feel like I let him down right when I want the most from him. I think I want to be with him, but he clearly wants to be with Momo, so I don't know how to feel."
The strawberry haired shinigami resisted the urge to flinch back, unsure of how to respond to this particular dilemma. He had about as much experience exploring his feelings as a Menos Grande, and he probably understood as much about girls as Toshiro did. He decided the best tact was honesty.
"Karin, I can't tell you about feelings and crap like that like you probably want me to. Yuzu might be a lot better for that, but I can tell you about guys. If I were Toshiro, I wouldn't be enjoying myself while my best friend was hurt by something I did. He's probably just as down in the dumps as you are. Just go let him know that you care and you want him to be happy, right?"
Karin looked up at her usually thick brother, wondering where this sudden insight came from. "But I just hurt him. And deep down, I guess I know that he's not really that fragile, but I can't help feeling guilty about it."
Ichigo looked at her incredulously. "Karin, stop acting like Yuzu, geez." He leapt out of the tree, landing effortlessly on the ground below. "Goodnight, Karin. Go…bake him another cake or something. Its Friday isn't it?"
Even from her perch in the tree, she heard Ichigo's stomach rumble at the last comment. She gasped with sudden insight to the mystery of the disappearing cakes.
"Fragile," she heard Ichigo mutter dirisively as he walked away. "The kid has a Bankai!"
And suddenly, it made sense. Karin stood up in the tree in once smooth motion, her bare feet conforming to the cool oak beneath her toes. She flash stepped away, heading in the completely opposite direction from the Kurosaki house.
***
Retsu Unohana was used to working long hours. She sat in her office, poring over her notes, allotting prescriptions to patients and the like. What she wasn't used to was star pupils bursting into her office without notice, wearing nothing but what would generously be called casual clothing. And barefoot too!
"Unohana-taicho!" she said, bowing quickly. "I think I've got it!"
Unohana smiled, knowing precisely what the young girl was so excited about. "You've got what?" Sometimes it was better for the mind to entertain the young.
"The sewing thing! I can do the Kido now, I know I can!"
"Have you tried it?"
"Erm…" Karin's roll was officially slowed. "No, not yet…"
But retsu just smiled, reaching behind her desk to produce a life sized replica of a human arm. The exact injury Karin had tried the day before to heal was cut into the dummy arm. It was so lifelike, Karin did a double take thinking for a split second that Unohana had simply amputated the patient.
"The twelfth division captain…er…graciously made us a replica to work with. I anticipated you would have such an epiphany."
Karin gulped, as her excitement gave way to nervousness. What if she still hadn't gotten it right? What if she failed again? Would Unohana give up on her? She doubted it. Karin was a logical girl, and she realized that if the woman had put this much time and energy into her at her own choosing, she would not give up on her because of a minor setback.
Karin concentrated, extending her hands over the wound. She could feel the tiny reiatsu flowing through the arm, as if it were still part of a living body and marveled at the genius of the twelfth division's captain. She focused on the injury, a laceration slicing muscles and bones apart. If left long it would hemorrhage. Karin focused first on that, using one of Unohana's earlier techniques to sooth the injury, convince the body that it was well and no further action was needed. She pulled shut the blood vessels and stitched them back together, forming a tight web of veins and capillaries that was visible like a mesh throughout the injury.
Karin dove through layer upon layer of tissue, sending her energy deep, to the root of the problem. The bone beneath, nearly cracked in two. She began to heal it normally, but something was off. The bone closed quickly enough, but the crack remained, dividing it for an easy split later on. She began to weave her energy through the bone, coaxing the cells on one side, then the other to merge and form one strong mass. Slowly, as she threaded the bone shut, the crack began to disappear. Sweat formed on her brow as she concentrated. Suddenly, the thought of Toshiro sweaters leapt to the forefront of her mind. Instead of ignoring it, or attempting to, Karin imagined herself knitting the image, knitting the fabric of Toshiro's strong jawline into the bone. By the time she got from his ear to his chin, she was finished.
She sat back and gasped, not realizing she had been holding her breath. She looked up to see Unohana staring back at her, soft, quiet pride glistening in her eyes.
"I did it!" Karin said, gasping for breath. "I did it!"
Unohana simply kept her smile while the young woman ran forward and embraced her, burying her face in the soft hair that was the braid plaited down her chest.
"Thank you so much Unohana-taicho!"
The old woman broke the hug and held her at arms length. "Your father will be very proud to hear of this. But for now, you should rest. You seem to have had quite the night."
Karin smiled, sighing as she fell back into the visitor chair in the Captain's office. Before Retsu could say another word she was asleep. Unohana lifted up the remarkable arm and placed it out of sight once again. She would be the last person to admit how scary that arm really was to her.
***
Toshiro got up with the first rays of sunlight. He rolled out of bed, thanking the heavens that he was afforded his own living space as a seated officer. He shoved the memories of the previous night aside almost as viciously as he ripped off the robe he was still wearing. Once he showered and changed, he grabbed Hyorinmaru and headed for his favorite place. A good Bankai training session would help clear his mind.
He arrived at the place, hoping beyond hope that Karin would be there, that she would have made some effort to apologize, but there was no sign of her presence.
"Come on, Hyorinmaru. Its time to forget about all that. Ban-kai! Daiguren Hyorinmaru!"
The familiar ice armor encompassed him. The wings and the claws replaced his shoulders and limbs. He had become the eternal dragon. He loosed a blast of ice that froze a dozen trees solid. It shattered at his thought and he realized how good it felt to destroy things in anger. Another grove disappeared in a hail of ice, and another, and a river and even a small hill froze solid, becoming a mound of solid, deadly water. Toshiro roared with anger, clearing out more and more of the land until he finally raged against the hill above him itself. He used the only true technique he knew at Bankai level.
"Ryusenka!" he yelled, charging the mountain, his sword pointed outward. He poured all of his energy into the strike, letting his reiatsu manifest itself as ice.
***
Karin stared. If she had to guess, she would say he was trying to freeze the mountain. She set the cake down on a low fence nearby and leaned against it, waiting for Toshiro to come to his senses. She had to admit, seeing his Bankai for the first time was quite the experience. He had wings! And the power he was giving off was intense. She felt a tingle run down her spine that had nothing to do with chills, though, she realized, she probably should have changed into something warmer. No matter. She needed to get his attention anyway. There was no way she just went through all this so she could sit and watch him train, though the idea wasn't without its own appeal.
She had gone to her assigned quarters in the Fourth Division barracks almost as soon as she woke up in her Captain's office. Doing nothing but slipping on an extra pair of sandals and hurriedly baking the cake for Toshiro, she had rushed straight here.
"And now, Toshiro, I want you to notice me," she said to herself as the young man floated away from the star shaped icicle he had just created. Karin stepped a safe distance away from the cake and began to push her reiatsu out. She normally kept it from manifesting itself as flames, but this time, she let it burn, scorching the grass beneath her feet. The air around her spiked in temperature until the flames were so hot they were fueled by the air itself, a small fireball forming around her. Karin panted with the effort before she let the fireball implode, satisfied that would get his attention.
***
Toshiro stared at the dragon hail flower. His strongest attack, his best energy. Though it was enormous compared to his person, it still seemed just a dot on the massive cliff before him. He felt his Bankai fading away. He'd used too much energy too fast. He began the long descent to the ground when he felt…power. He turned, expecting to see Isshin or Ichigo. Instead, what met his eyes was Karin, sitting calmly on the grass next to what appeared to be a freshly baked cake.
Toshiro's first response was anger. How could she show up now? She had let him sulk all night, let him train all morning, and yet now she came bearing gifts? His second response was annoyance. She had seen his Bankai long before it was complete. This, however, didn't annoy him as much as he thought it might. After all, she was the only person in Soul Society who truly believed in what he was capable of. His final response was hunger. He had skipped most of the previous night's dinner and forgone breakfast that morning. And that was an entire cake. His stomach tricked him into wondering what flavor it was and he agreed with himself to at least go down and talk to her.
It was Friday after all, he reasoned.
Letting his Bankai melt into oblivion, Toshiro drifted down to the clearing he had artificially expanded. It didn't escape him what she wore, and as he floated down, his eyes roamed across her entire body, taking in the sight. The grey sweatpants rolled down at the waist, the belly top that showed off her tight midriff and her perky chest. The curve of her shoulders and the tone of her arms. Toshiro locked it all in his eidetic memory, savoring the sight. He realized that he probably would not find any other woman so attractive in what she wore. She made it look good. But that didn't change his mood.
The last bits of his ice wings disintegrated as his foot touched down and he crossed his arms in front of him. "What's that about?" he asked, nodding at the cake. Karin jumped to her feet, grabbing the cake and bringing it to him, offering him a pre-cut slice.
"It is Friday, after all," she said, smiling weakly.
He looked at her curiously for a brief second before realizing that she couldn't possibly have read his mind as he had approached. She wasn't psychic. He took the slice and looked at it suspiciously. "You're not trying to poison me, are you?"
She looked alarmed. "No! of course not…who would?"
At his serious look, she held back the question. There were times when she simply didn't want to know.
Toshiro took the first bite and again, he was back in that exam room, biting into a cake for the first time in his life. He sighed, realizing what was about to happen right before a slight smile creased his lips. He tried to fight it and failed, taking another bite to cover up the expression.
Karin, however, finely tuned to every nuance in his behavior, noticed instantly.
"I think," he said, swallowing his mouthful, "your cake has gotten better than Yuzu's."
"It only took me two hundred and seventy two cakes," she said sarcastically.
"Two hundred and seventy three," Toshiro corrected. "You burned the first one, remember?"
Karin grimaced. She realized that they would continue to play this game unless one of them cut out the small talk. Realizing that it Toshiro wouldn't directly speak in a million years if he was unsure, she decided to be the one to venture out there.
"Look, Toshiro, I'm sorry."
The white haired death god let the statement hang for a few seconds before he worked up the courage to follow her lead.
"No, Karin, I am. I should have been honest with you, and I should have been smarter. I apologize."
"I don't like apologies."
Toshiro's expression blanked and he felt like wringing something fragile between his two hands. Did she have any idea how hard it was for him to apologize? And then she just blew it off like that?
"I think instead, we should focus on what it would sound like if we were being honest."
Toshiro balked at the subtle hint. A day ago, he wouldn't have thought Karin capable of being so indirect. But, genius as he was, he caught the hint and more importantly, she knew he did. There would be no playing dumb, or beating around the bush, trying to get her to say something first. The ball was squarely in his court, but he wondered fiercely what in Hueco Mundo he should do with it!
Always comparative, he began to analyze the situation, looking at the pros and cons of telling her how he felt. But she stood waiting there not to hear his carefully dissected and presented thoughts. She waited to hear what came from his heart.
"The truth is," he started before he could stop himself, "That I care about you Karin, in a way that goes far beyond what I can analyze and count. And its taken this past week for me to realize it, spending most of my time without you, or with you angry with me, it made me realize what I've been missing this whole time. I guess I never knew what real friendship was until I met you. But I was so happy having a friend that I didn't want it to go any further…"
Karin listened eagerly, gobbling up every word. Her heart soared at his admission, and she felt it pounding in her chest.
"Karin, I…I want to be with you."
She could have fainted. She could have swooned, an eternal blush flushing her cheeks. She could have ran and jumped into his arms, hugging him as if she would never let go. All of those things would have made her feel completely girly and not at all attractive, however, so instead, she grabbed a slice of cake. She took a tiny bite, tasting each flavor as if she had just awoken from a long slumber. It was a great cake. It was a better moment.
"Toshiro," She said, after swallowing the nibble and regained her composure, "I don't think I'd agree anything else."
She immediately wished she had phrased her sentence better, made it come out tougher or whatever, but the next thing that happened took her completely by surprise. Toshiro stepped forward without warning, grabbing Karin's bare shoulders. Her skin sprouted goose bumps at his touch, her red hot fire instantly quelled by his freezing ice, and his fingers found their way to her cheek, caressing the face that he suddenly found so beautiful and captivating. Their eyes met briefly before they slid shut and their lips pressed together, binding them in a way they had never realized was possible.
When they broke the kiss, Karin wrapped her arms around him, feeling his powerful muscles fidgeting as they sought a comfortable compromise between her body and gravity. Finally, his arms rested around her back and she laid her head on his chest. His chin came down, rustling the very top of her hair, and Karin, for the first time in her life, felt complete without Yuzu beside her. Her face broke into a wide smile where he couldn't see. It was just as she had imagined it.
They stood there for a long while, both unwilling to move. Toshiro broke one eye open and was surprised at what he saw. Momo Hinamori stood at the edge of the clearing, watching him quietly. She saw the two's embrace and Toshiro knew that she would not do anything to fight Karin. He wondered for just an instant how he would meet Momo's eyes now, but she looked him right in the eye as the thought entered his mind. Her face lit, not with a jealous frown but with a genuine, encouraging smile.
Suddenly, he realized that he would always look at her the same, no matter what. That was who he was. She had defined his childhood, being there for him when no one else his age would come close. When she left to join the Gotei 13, he felt abandoned and alone. If she were to be in his life, she would return to close the hole she had left in his heart, not find a new place to fill. He realized that while she could do that, she could never give to him what Karin could, what he truly wanted. A family. Momo turned and left the clearing, letting them have their peace.
"So we're still on for dinner this evening?" he whispered.
Karin's enthusiastic nod brought an easy smile to his lips, something he had never experienced. She hadn't even bothered to lift her head from his chest to do so. It was infinitely endearing and new and infinitely familiar at the same time. Realizing that he now had quite a few more things about her to figure out, he let his head rest a little easier atop hers. He could live with that. The sun climbed ever higher into the sky above them, its rays glistening softly on the thin sheet of ice that covered the immense face of the mountain above them. The perfect balance of fire and ice.
