a/n: Forgot I didn't post this on here...oh well. Now you people can share in my demented mental picture of Mick with one of those funny rescue collar things on...O.o

This is from the brain of Josef. if Josef were insane.


Vampires don't keep pets. Fluffy beasts and bloodsuckers don't really mix. In spite of this, Josef has always believed that the human urge to keep a creature trapped to their presence depending on scrap of food and affection is an urge that carries over into vampires. He had this urge himself. When he was a younger and more idiotic vampire there were a few unfortunate occurrences involving cats and embarrassing blood stains which no one alive or undead now would ever know about.

He'd given up on furry critters after the last embarrassing incident and instead he turned to keeping a harem of human pets. It was efficient, having his blood and entertainment nearby, which appealed to his incredible business sense. Unfortunately it only partly assuaged his urge for a real pet/companion to call his own.

So he got Mick. He'd adopted him from the pound when his previous owner turned out to be a manipulative bitch from hell. It'd taken a long time to properly socialize his pet. He still had a few leftover quirks like his preference toward humanity and his eating habits were atrocious, but Josef was still working on his training.

"Every time I go out on a case she's there. I can't avoid her!" Josef looked up from his thoughts as he sprawled across Mick's couch and watched his agitated ranting pet P.I. pace. He supposed that watching Mick in the throws of his obsession with the little blonde human thing was much akin to watching an overly-excitable puppy running around too giddy to watch where he was going until he smacks head-first into a wall. A female reporter-shaped wall. It's painful to watch yet somehow endearing. Maybe later Mick would hump her leg…

"Why are you laughing? Why am I even talking to you about this…" Mick glowered at the older vampire as he tried to banish the rather entertaining mental images in his head. Josef rose fluidly from the couch and came over to where Mick was paused in his pacing, rubbing the bridge of his nose looking stressed. He reached up and wrapped his hand around the base of his neck and squeezed just enough to get Mick's attention then started kneading the tense muscles as Mick looked at him, careful to keep his face casual and body inconspicuously apart from the other's. He smiled innocently at him and kept rubbing until Mick relaxed.

"Good puppy."

"What?"


a/n: mahahaha..