The sun beat down on the concrete, sending heat through my front door, up my stairs and into my brain like a blow of pressurized air right next to my ear. You'd think after everything, I'd have a NORMAL Christmas Eve, where everybody would be inside with their families and snowmen would line the streets and my cat would walk out the cat door but then be right back in the house because the snow would freeze her paws, but no. Bikers are still biking, joggers are still jogging. And I'm still alone.

Well, not TOTALLY alone. I had a date last night with this guy, Bam. Not a big deal. Shaggy hair. Baggy jeans. Your average skater. Not a big deal.

Although I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been thinking about it all night.

I got up, quickly feathered my white-blonde hair (which I had bleached the shit out of about two hours before the date yesterday) and continued my daily routine of eating, surviving twelve hours and sleeping the rest away. I stepped into the bathroom with my bare feet, ignoring the sheer coldness.

The mirror portrayed a familiar image: a teenage runaway with long, obviously light blonde hair, a sleeve of tattoos on her left arm, piercings jammed into her pale, pale cheeks and nose. I hadn't realized I fell asleep the previous night without a shirt on.

"So tell me about yourself," he said to me in a friendly tone. I cleared my throat and set down my ice water on the table.

"Well, I'm seventeen, living on my own. I have a cat and a goldfish and my diet consists of bagels and Monster. I'm a pro at guitar and I occasionally babysit my annoying little brother. I work at Adrenaline, don't even ask how I got a job there at 17, and I'm a natural-born tattoo artist. My passions are My Chemical Romance and The Used."

He paused a moment with his eyebrows raised, then chuckled and rested his chin loosely on the backs of his hands.

"Holy shit. You seem like a pretty complex individual."

"Does that scare you?"

"No," he smiled, "no, it doesn't."

My speaker was blasting screamo at this point. I had gotten wall stereos built in, and damn was I excited about it. I didn't have much to be excited about other than new albums coming out or Warped Tour or a raise or – ooh, a sale at Hot Topic! So I was gonna use the speakers until they exploded; and considering the volume I preferred my music at, they just might.

"Scruffy! Here, kitty kitty kitty…" I called for my pet (and best friend, of course), pouring food gingerly into the bowl avoiding any fish-shaped food pellets from falling out. The obese ball of fluff waddled on little nubs for legs to get to its breakfast. I sat down on the couch.

He's so cute, I thought. I eagerly joined him when he pat the free cushion on the cough he'd been chilling on.

He held my face with his hand. "You're really beautiful, you know that?" our eyes locked, and we both leaned in, thinking the same thing. Before either of us knew it, I was straddling him, and he was picking me up.

Picture frames and vases were knocked off the walls and shelves as we attacked each other's faces trying to get to his bedroom. He grabbed my butt to keep my legs around him, occasionally slamming me into the wall to shove his tongue down my throat in the hallway. I was pressed into the bed as he practically ripped the shirt off me…

Click. Click. Click. I surfed through the channels, again to find nothing good. Click. Click. Ooh! I pressed the "select" button when I saw there was a new episode of The Vampire Diaries playing. Rerun from last night. I threw popcorn into my mouth piece by piece, screaming at the television like I do.

"NOO! ELENA, WHYY?!" I screamed, throwing popcorn at the screen. God, there's something wrong with me.

My eyes snapped open to look at the clock. 1:34 AM. The thoughts ran through my head. Why are you trusting him? Why are you doing this? You're just gonna hurt him anyway, like you always do! Why are you committing yourself? I couldn't take it anymore. I slowly picked up his arm that was wrapped around my bare waist and slipped out of the covers.

After getting completely dressed, I tried my best so shut his front door behind me reeeaaalllyyy quietly…

A knock sounded at my door.

Bam stood there, obviously nervous.

I swallowed the urge to hug him. Or to cry. I wasn't sure. "What are you doing he-"

"Don't tell me you didn't feel something." He cut me off, now slightly angry. I almost flinched. Instead I knit my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

He made his way into my living room. "Yesterday. At dinner. We had an amazing time. Damn it, we slept together! And you're telling me you didn't feel ANYTHING for me?!"

I nearly choked on my own words. What was this guy's deal? "Of course I did-"

"Then why'd you leave?!"

"Because every time I let myself feel for a guy, I get stomped on! I didn't think you'd come to my house! I screamed back at him. And then the unexpected happened.

He grabbed my face and kissed me.

After about five seconds, he pulled away, and spoke rapidly before I could let out a word. "I like you. I like you a lot, actually. You're not gonna get stomped on! You can't just say something's going to happen and give up on it before even giving it a chance."

And then we kissed again. Well, a LOT, again. In the bed, aga-

BUUTT that's not important. What's important is: now, while I'm doing my everyday routine, living life as it goes…I'll have someone right alongside of me.

MEERRRYYY CHRISTMASSS IVY! :D I wrote this for her, and only her. I love you babe (: