I've been on my own for ages now.
I lost my brothers when the shit hit the fan, and ever since then I've been miserable- well more than usual. I've basically lost hope now, I mean they're alive, they have to be but looking for them has become increasingly hard.
But I guess I prefer being on my own, kind of.
I used to have hope. Couple years ago I was looking for camps, people anything to tell me I wasn't all alone, and I wouldn't except defeat.
So I found a camp. I watched them for a while, getting know what sort of people they were and truth is I didn't know how some of them were still alive. They were weak. And most of them had no idea what was happening outside of the walls they had built around themselves and I wasn't gonna be responsible for any deaths, I couldn't have blood on my hands from innocent people.
So after that I decided I needed to just live alone, by myself. I didn't need company, I'm not good at socialising anyway so why should I build relationships with people who have the potential to slip through my fingers at any point?
But right now I'm in a little cabin I found in the woods. It's a shit hole and I'm surprised it's still standing but it's shelter and that's all I need right now. It's not like I'm used to any better anyway.
But I've been here for about a week, and it's held pretty well.
I was laying on an uncomfortable mattress on the floor drowning in boredom, when the handle on the door started to move and I could here voices.
I shot up and grabbed my crossbow and hid in the little wardrobe in the room. The people were now in the cabin and I could here them "look in the cupboards for food while I check for walkers" that was a man's voice
I heard foot steps coming towards the wardrobe, and they were trying to open it. Shit.
I had my hand on my crossbow and when they finally opened the door I grabbed it and jumped out pointing it at the mysterious man. He had a short beard and his hair was scruffy, he had a grey shirt on with sheriff boots.
"drop your weapon!" I shouted with my finger on the trigger. "woah, calm down I'm not gonna hurt you unless you try something stupid first you got it?" he said still not lowering his gun
After he said this a boy around my age came in, he had a sheriff hat on and his hair was long and got in the way of his piercing blue eyes. I'll admit it, he was cute but I couldn't let my guard down at a time like this.
"dad what's going on?" he asked, woah deep voice. "who's this?" he started walking towards me and I pointed my crossbow at him.
"okay, hold on before we do anything, what's your name?" asked the man "why should I tell you?" I said rudely. "you got a name or what?" ok this guy is officially getting on my nerves. I huffed then answered "Jessica. Jessica Dixon"
"Dixon?" asked the boy in the hat
"yes Dixon, you got a problem cowboy?" I was seriously pissed at the moment, I mean these people have just broken into my camp and are now interrogating me on my name.
"Calm down" said the man "my names Rick Grimes, this is my son Carl,"
"So who are you with?" Asked Rick
"Nobody, it's just me, it always has been" I said obviously
"So you're telling me a little girl like you has survived on her own, with no help at all?" He said patronisingly
"Call me a little girl again and I swear to god there'll be an arrow so far up your ass, it'll be comin' out your mouth" I snapped viciously at the irritating man
I heard a chuckle and shot my head towards Carl who had amusement written all over his face from his dad's reaction.
He then said "we have a group, about a mile away in a prison, you wonna come?"
Rick glared at him "Carl" he hissed
"What?"
"You can't just give away our camp like that" Rick said like it was obvious
"Oh come on, we could seriously use some guts like her" he said looking at me admiringly "and I'm pretty sure we know someone just like her" he finished looking at Rick and having a silent conversation with their eyes
His dad caught on and he gave in "Okay I have some questions for you"
"I ain't gonna take some damn quiz, can you guys just get off of my land before I snap you both in half" I said ready to shoot
"Okay look, we're asking you if you want to live in a safe camp, but first I need to ask you some questions alright?"
I gave in and nodded
"Good now how many walkers have you killed?"
"How the heck am supposed to know that, I feel like I've slaughtered half the world by now"
Rick rolled his eyes but continued "how many people have you killed?"
I froze, "Um, I- well-" I sighed then weakly answered "a few"
"Why?" Rick askers slowly
"I didn't have choice" I said my voice nearly cracking
The memories that I had tried to forget for so long all came flooding back, but I forced myself to hold it all in because I couldn't look weak in front of these people
"Okay" Rick said, he looked like he was thinking
"Okay, we have a very secure prison close to here and I'm willing to let you stay with us" he said to me kindly
Did I really wanna be part of a group?
I don't exactly like being alone but it's always been how I work best, maybe it is time for a change, and I can take care of myself it turns out the wrong decision.
"Umm, ok then I guess I'll come check it out" I walked out the door and they followed me, then took the lead and we made our way to this prison.
