Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Chapter I: Walls
Silence. That was the only thing that filled my ear. Not quite, a voice inside my mind said. Numerous battles had ensured me that the sizzling sound in my ear would never leave my side, a gift received from enemy bombing. I swallowed. I don't know if that thought just saddened me even more.
The idea that I would never ever truly enjoy the sound of pure silence again.
I try to close my eyes but I can't help but stare at the blank wall in front of me. I feel a cold come over me and I tug the blankets further up, almost up to my ears. Was this it? Was this my life?
I turn around and stare at ceiling, wondering if the four surrounding walls would be my only companions for the rest of my life.
I thought that living on my own would make me happy. And yes, I was glad to be away from my family. Not that I didn't love my parents or I didn't need them but I wanted my own space. My own place.
And here I was. Alone. In my own space.
After the war life had been quite… hazy. Sometimes I couldn't quite remember what has occurred between now and five years ago. Somewhere along the road, Kakashi-sensei had become Hokage. Sasuke was pardoned and left the village to search for himself. And Naruto… I can't repress a smile when I'm thinking of him. Naruto is a hero. I only feel warmth when I think of all the people surrounding him. He deserved it so much. Every single bit of attention. All those times he missed out…
I let out another sigh, turning my head toward the alarm clock to see time. It was only ten.
I'm not tired enough to sleep and yet I have no idea what else to do. I can't read another book, I have done that for the last four years every night. I can't write an article. I don't feel like it. I don't want to do anything medical anymore outside of my job. Not that I don't enjoy it, I just… don't feel like it.
I toss and turn but can't seem to find sleep. Or what I need. I ignore the words echoing loudly in my mind and try to distract myself.
I think about training. About work. I think about thinking. Then I think about people I know. About people I don't know and about people I would want to know. I've been thinking about traveling meeting people outside of this village but… I can't leave everyone behind. I can't just quit my job!
'Aah!' I ball up my fist. 'I'm tired,' I say to no-one in particular. 'I can't keep fighting… I feel like I'm running out of time.' I can feel a burning feeling in my throat. 'I don't want to be lonely anymore…'
I feel warm tears fall down to my ears. No one to comfort me. No one to hold me.
I hate lonely.
I curse my weakness, telling myself I don't need anyone. I'm fine.
I just hate these blank walls.
I have never written anything quite like this and I'm not entirely sure where I am going with this but I just felt the need to post this. Leave comment/review with your thoughts!
