ok, this is a little dark fic about Akane cutting herself
because of Ranma and what he does when he finds out.
first dark fic and usually i love r/a's but today well i'm a
little ticked off
"talking"
/thinking/
***flashbacks**
~~story~~
^^somewhere else^^^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`When you Can Bleed No more~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Akane stared at the razor blade in her right hand. Her left wrist was
already marked with cuts, some shallow, some long, some deep, but
all very nasty looking. Below and around and across each new scar was
an old one. Ever since Saffron and the failed marriage Akane had been
cutting. She cut everytime she saw Ranma flirt with his other fiancees.
She cut everytime he called her tomboy or uncute. But most of all, she cut
when Ranma gave her the cold shoulder, which these days was often.
/I wish that I could feel,even if it's only to feel his words cut my heart, wounds
that don't show. then I wouldn't have to make them visible just to
know I'm still here and alive. I wish I would no longer have to hide my pain
and take it out on my own body. But I love him to much to hurt him like that.
So i'll keep cutting./ After the first few times she'd cut she made sure
to wear arm braces because Kasumi had almost seen all her marks and she'd
had to lie and say a cat got her. Kasumi seemed to believe that.
She finished the last cut, one that went almost all the way
around her wrist, just missing her major artery, and was very deep.
She pulled her black leather arm brace up and relished the way it rubbed
against her still raw cuts. She left the bathroom and walked down the
hall to her bedroom.
On the way there she bumped into Ranma. She mumbled a quick
sorry and kept her head down and moved on. But still he attacked.
"Jeez Akane, your getting worse. Instead of being just an uncute tomboy,
you're becoming a klutxy one. Better shape up or not even Ryoga will
like you. " then came the real kicker, he always said this. "don't see why
he does anyways. Not anything obvious or at all visible." He watched
waiting for her to react. Hoping this time she would say something or
do something, even cry. Just anything to show him someone existed in that empty
shell of his beloved fiancee. She'd hasn't hit him or talked to him (or anyone
for that matter since Saffron. He was really worried so he tried to get
a reaction from her. Not knowing he only made it worse.
"I'm sorry Ranma, I am. I didn't mean to upset you." She took it in. Knowing as
soon as she got to her room and locked the door she could release the pain with
a single stream of blood. For every word there was a cut, but today she was so
tired one would have to do.
"whatever, I'm sure you are. Why can't you be better? And why aren't you any
good at anything?" he prodded once more, inwardly wincing at his words but
seriously worried about her lack of response. Something inside Akane
snapped and she whipped off her arm brace, knowing she would
later regret it. She showed him her wrist, and predictable as always gasped.
"You see Ranma i am good a something. See what you're doing to me?
I've finally learned that I will never be good enough for you or anyone,
so I got good at letting myself no how worthless I am. Are you happy now?"
She raged almost yelling at the top of her lungs. Ranma just stood there,
while her family, not haveing heard her speak in a long time, came rushing
up the stairs. They gaped openly at her exposed wrist. Kasumi dropped to
her knees and started to cry, Nabiki just repeated over and over "we failed her,
we failed her", her father and Mr. Soatome fainted dead away. Finally Ranma
grabbed her arm and pulled her into her room. He slammed the door shut and locked it.
Then her grabbed her wrist and seemed to be examining in.
"How long?" he asked simply in a cold voice.
"Not very..." she tried to lie but he saw through it.
"How long Akane? Since Saffron? Was it really that bad?"
"No, it wasn't, you were" she saw him flinch at that.
"Me? How, why ??" he asked in a quiet voice.
"You ignore me, and you insult me and you love everyone but me."
"No, it's not.." he stammered
"Yes it it Ranma. Buts it's ok. I deserve it. Atleast you're in my life."
"No Akane, I love you" finally he'd said it but he never thought it
would be under these strenous conditions.
"I love you, too. But it's to late for me. You see I think I've gone dead inside,
except for the pain. which is why I hurt myself and let you do what you do." She
stared straight into his dark eyes, saw his pain and knew it no where
neared the pain she had constantly felt for the last year. But for once another
feeling drifted through her. Sympathy. It shocked her, but she was not surprised.
She always did feel unusual things when he was around, well before the almost
wedding that was.
"Gods, Akane, tell me how I can fix it? " He asked heatedly
"You can't" she answered simply. "I'm broken, unrepairable."
"No, you can't be, I'll fix you. Please let me fix you" he pleaded, tears springing
into his eyes. Her own misted over slightlym turning chocolate
brown to a bright hazel. She shook her head. he grabbed her arms tightly.
As if afraid to let go. But she knew he would have to. Like she also knew
next time she cut herslef she would not be walking away. It was time for her to go.
"Goodbye Ranma, I love you." She whispered as she tore out of his arms and
out of the room. She ran past her family and locked herself back in the bathroom
with her only friend of late. The silver of the razor gleamed faintly.
She heard Ranma pounding on the door and knew she had little time.
She heard her family's cries and whispered a loving goodbye. It was not their
fault she was a defective human being, if she could still be called that.
All her family heard before blood started oozing in a mass stream was
"I love you Ranma, I'm no longer numb or trapped. Thank you for helping
set me free."
He broke down the door and found Akane lying on her side, A slit wrist
extended towards the door as if trying to reach for them one last time.
He hauled her into his arms, gazing into her lifeless eyes. He buried his head
on her chest and whispered
"Wait for me please. I'll try to follow soon, just please wait for me"
and as if in answer a breeze caressed his cheek, even though they were
inside. He could distantl hear her family weeping at the site of their
beloved daughter and sister. But he was to far gone to notice. All that anchored'
him was the feel of her in his arms and her rapidly cooling skin.
"I love you 'Kane, always. Please wait." With that he stood up and gently placed her
on the floor and went to call Dr.Tofu and an ambulance. Knowing soon another one
would come to the Tendou's and pick up his body. He hoped to see her
again very soon. And he knew he had a few things to ask her. Like what
did you do when someone you knew had no more blood left to bleed?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sniff sad, almost mad me cry. so waddit you think? yah i know pretty bad put its
been stuck in my head for days and i had to get it out.
Byes
Shulover11
because of Ranma and what he does when he finds out.
first dark fic and usually i love r/a's but today well i'm a
little ticked off
"talking"
/thinking/
***flashbacks**
~~story~~
^^somewhere else^^^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`When you Can Bleed No more~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Akane stared at the razor blade in her right hand. Her left wrist was
already marked with cuts, some shallow, some long, some deep, but
all very nasty looking. Below and around and across each new scar was
an old one. Ever since Saffron and the failed marriage Akane had been
cutting. She cut everytime she saw Ranma flirt with his other fiancees.
She cut everytime he called her tomboy or uncute. But most of all, she cut
when Ranma gave her the cold shoulder, which these days was often.
/I wish that I could feel,even if it's only to feel his words cut my heart, wounds
that don't show. then I wouldn't have to make them visible just to
know I'm still here and alive. I wish I would no longer have to hide my pain
and take it out on my own body. But I love him to much to hurt him like that.
So i'll keep cutting./ After the first few times she'd cut she made sure
to wear arm braces because Kasumi had almost seen all her marks and she'd
had to lie and say a cat got her. Kasumi seemed to believe that.
She finished the last cut, one that went almost all the way
around her wrist, just missing her major artery, and was very deep.
She pulled her black leather arm brace up and relished the way it rubbed
against her still raw cuts. She left the bathroom and walked down the
hall to her bedroom.
On the way there she bumped into Ranma. She mumbled a quick
sorry and kept her head down and moved on. But still he attacked.
"Jeez Akane, your getting worse. Instead of being just an uncute tomboy,
you're becoming a klutxy one. Better shape up or not even Ryoga will
like you. " then came the real kicker, he always said this. "don't see why
he does anyways. Not anything obvious or at all visible." He watched
waiting for her to react. Hoping this time she would say something or
do something, even cry. Just anything to show him someone existed in that empty
shell of his beloved fiancee. She'd hasn't hit him or talked to him (or anyone
for that matter since Saffron. He was really worried so he tried to get
a reaction from her. Not knowing he only made it worse.
"I'm sorry Ranma, I am. I didn't mean to upset you." She took it in. Knowing as
soon as she got to her room and locked the door she could release the pain with
a single stream of blood. For every word there was a cut, but today she was so
tired one would have to do.
"whatever, I'm sure you are. Why can't you be better? And why aren't you any
good at anything?" he prodded once more, inwardly wincing at his words but
seriously worried about her lack of response. Something inside Akane
snapped and she whipped off her arm brace, knowing she would
later regret it. She showed him her wrist, and predictable as always gasped.
"You see Ranma i am good a something. See what you're doing to me?
I've finally learned that I will never be good enough for you or anyone,
so I got good at letting myself no how worthless I am. Are you happy now?"
She raged almost yelling at the top of her lungs. Ranma just stood there,
while her family, not haveing heard her speak in a long time, came rushing
up the stairs. They gaped openly at her exposed wrist. Kasumi dropped to
her knees and started to cry, Nabiki just repeated over and over "we failed her,
we failed her", her father and Mr. Soatome fainted dead away. Finally Ranma
grabbed her arm and pulled her into her room. He slammed the door shut and locked it.
Then her grabbed her wrist and seemed to be examining in.
"How long?" he asked simply in a cold voice.
"Not very..." she tried to lie but he saw through it.
"How long Akane? Since Saffron? Was it really that bad?"
"No, it wasn't, you were" she saw him flinch at that.
"Me? How, why ??" he asked in a quiet voice.
"You ignore me, and you insult me and you love everyone but me."
"No, it's not.." he stammered
"Yes it it Ranma. Buts it's ok. I deserve it. Atleast you're in my life."
"No Akane, I love you" finally he'd said it but he never thought it
would be under these strenous conditions.
"I love you, too. But it's to late for me. You see I think I've gone dead inside,
except for the pain. which is why I hurt myself and let you do what you do." She
stared straight into his dark eyes, saw his pain and knew it no where
neared the pain she had constantly felt for the last year. But for once another
feeling drifted through her. Sympathy. It shocked her, but she was not surprised.
She always did feel unusual things when he was around, well before the almost
wedding that was.
"Gods, Akane, tell me how I can fix it? " He asked heatedly
"You can't" she answered simply. "I'm broken, unrepairable."
"No, you can't be, I'll fix you. Please let me fix you" he pleaded, tears springing
into his eyes. Her own misted over slightlym turning chocolate
brown to a bright hazel. She shook her head. he grabbed her arms tightly.
As if afraid to let go. But she knew he would have to. Like she also knew
next time she cut herslef she would not be walking away. It was time for her to go.
"Goodbye Ranma, I love you." She whispered as she tore out of his arms and
out of the room. She ran past her family and locked herself back in the bathroom
with her only friend of late. The silver of the razor gleamed faintly.
She heard Ranma pounding on the door and knew she had little time.
She heard her family's cries and whispered a loving goodbye. It was not their
fault she was a defective human being, if she could still be called that.
All her family heard before blood started oozing in a mass stream was
"I love you Ranma, I'm no longer numb or trapped. Thank you for helping
set me free."
He broke down the door and found Akane lying on her side, A slit wrist
extended towards the door as if trying to reach for them one last time.
He hauled her into his arms, gazing into her lifeless eyes. He buried his head
on her chest and whispered
"Wait for me please. I'll try to follow soon, just please wait for me"
and as if in answer a breeze caressed his cheek, even though they were
inside. He could distantl hear her family weeping at the site of their
beloved daughter and sister. But he was to far gone to notice. All that anchored'
him was the feel of her in his arms and her rapidly cooling skin.
"I love you 'Kane, always. Please wait." With that he stood up and gently placed her
on the floor and went to call Dr.Tofu and an ambulance. Knowing soon another one
would come to the Tendou's and pick up his body. He hoped to see her
again very soon. And he knew he had a few things to ask her. Like what
did you do when someone you knew had no more blood left to bleed?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sniff sad, almost mad me cry. so waddit you think? yah i know pretty bad put its
been stuck in my head for days and i had to get it out.
Byes
Shulover11
