Todays AU: "Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says "How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?" - Prompt by demisexualmerril on Tumblr


Working as a Florist was definitely never going to be Tien's first choice of job. But, with nothing else available, it was better than going back to being a "bodyguard." He'd never say it out loud, but the job was more of a mercenary gig than anything legit. Hence, there he was, standing behind the counter and surrounded by plants. Today, however, turned out different than usual.

Things had been going fine, with no one coming in for a while, so Tien was flipping through a magazine he had read a dozen times already. The bell next to the door dinged, signaling a customer, and he looked up to see a very angry man marching towards him. Said man proceeded to take out a twenty dollar bill, slam it down, and look up with malice in his eyes.

"How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?" he asked. Tien took a second to process the request.

"Give me a few minutes and you'll be good to go." he said. The man looked relieved.

"You're a lifesaver. Or, at least, a self - esteem saver." he said.

"Any particular reason for it?" Tien said, starting to gather a few flowers from beside the counter. The man nodded.

"My Ex is getting married." he grumbled. Tien winced slightly. He didn't have much experience with romance, but even he knew that such an occasion had to sting.

"In that case, how bout we go all out?" he said, giving the man a devious smirk before making his way over to the larger display and grabbing the correct plants. Within a few minutes, he had a large bouquet assembled, and someone unfamiliar with flower language would have thought it pretty. But Tien knew better.

"Okay. Here we have some geraniums, for stupidity, foxglove for insincerity, meadowsweet is uselessness, yellow carnations say "You have disappointed me", and orange lilies are pure hatred." he explained. His customer smiled for the first time since he arrived, and Tien was taken aback at how cute the guy was. It wasn't like he hadn't noticed earlier but seeing this guy happy only confirmed that he was, without a doubt, the most adorable person Tien had ever met. Soft looking black hair, almost pastel green eyes, and two scars that only served to add more charm. Tien tired to shake off his blush and started wrapping the flowers.

"Anything on the card?" he asked. The man nodded.

"Dear Bulma - Congrats on your marriage, I wish you the best. From, Yamcha." he replied. Tien jotted the message down on a post it note before transferring it to the card in cursive. He found his thoughts drifting as he wrote. The mans name was Yamcha, he seemed to be about the same age as Tien, and was undeniably hot. Tien shook his head slightly, trying to regain his focus, and finished the card.

"There you go." he said. He handed the bouquet over to Yamcha.

"Need flowers for your wedding date as well?" Tien asked, almost hoping that Yamcha would say no, he's single. Such and answer was unlikely, Tien knew, but a small part of him had already vowed to ask this man out.

"The only girl I ever had was Bulma, and it's her wedding, so I definitely don't have a date." Yamcha said with a mournful laugh.

"Would you like one?" Tien asked before he could stop himself. Both men blushed as they realized what Tien said.

"Uhh... are you offering yourself?" Yamcha said with another laugh, though this one seemed closer to a nervous laugh than anything else. Tien gulped and nodded.

"If you're willing to bring a total stranger to your Ex's wedding, then yeah." he said with a sigh, expecting rejection. He didn't expect Yamcha to reach across the counter and shake his hand.

"Well then, Mr. Total Stranger, you've got yourself a date."

Tien looked at Yamcha, surprised, and he couldn't find any trace of dishonesty in his expression. Tien smiled, something he didn't do often at work, and returned the handshake.

"Name's Tien. I'm honored." he said. Yamcha smiled back at him. After a few minutes of exchanging numbers, Yamcha picked up his bouquet, and started to leave.

"I'll see you soon then?" he said, turning back to face Tien when he got to the door. Tien grinned and waved.

"It's a date." he replied. With one last laugh, Yamcha was gone, leaving a rather happy florist behind.