Eridan let out a sigh as he lay back with his head against the base of his bed. He really needed to gather together some self-control; this would be the fourth time today. But the urge was set too deep in his mind to back out now. He needed this, couldn't face the rest of the day without it. Eridan promised himself that this would be the final time today that he would do this. Looking down at his hands, the prince gently fingered the sharp knife he was holding.

It was a simple instrument he had pocketed on a whim whilst Kanaya was patching up his broken face. He had been quarreling with Sollux once again. Honestly, Eridan couldn't even remember now how the fight had started. It was something trivial, he was almost sure of it (not that he'd ever admit that something he had to say was to be considered trivial), but the argument had heated up as both sides were unwilling to back down. Normally the give and take with injuries from their fights was pretty even, but Eridan had received a particularly nasty gash on his left cheek this time. After Sollux had left, Kanaya had offered to stitch close the wound, if only to prevent Eridan from dying of infection later. Back in the medical ward, Eridan had spied the scalpel among the other instruments littered by the reclining operating table. For no conscious reason on his part that he could think of, Eridan snatched the knife and stuck it in his back pocket while Kanaya had her back turned. Kanaya proceeded to cleanse the now closed wound with some rubbing alcohol she had found in one of the room's upper cabinets. Eridan hissed; the solution burned. He made to clutch at his stinging cheek before Kanaya stopped him, warning him not to touch the injury until it was fully healed. Eridan glared at her, but mumbled a 'thanks' under his breath as he made to leave. She had gone out of her way to help him, after all. Kanaya watched his retreating back as he clutched his cape to his person with a flourish and headed for his room. If she noticed the missing scalpel, she didn't mention it to Eridan.

This had happened a few months back. In total, Eridan had needed five stitched for his wounded cheek. Despite Kanaya's warning, he had poked at his cheek as soon as he saw himself in his bathroom mirror. That had hurt. Eridan took a mental note to actually listen to Kanaya's advice once in a while. Peering closer at himself, he sneered openly at the mark left by Sollux. 'How dare that piss-blood mar my flawless face', he thought to himself. But then he smirked once he remembered the bruises and the slight limp he had given Sollux. 'It almost makes the desecration of my face worth it.'

Eridan made his way across the room and leaped on to his bed back first, but yelped and shot up immediately when he felt a sharp stab in his ass. Getting up gingerly, Eridan felt his slightly sore hindquarters and noticed a solid lump in his back pocket. Of course, he had forgotten about the knife he had taken from the medical ward earlier. After making sure no serious damage had been done to his backside, Eridan removed the knife and held it before his bright yellow eyes.

It wasn't a very large knife, but it was very sharp. 'This wouldn't be very useful in a fight', Eridan thought, completely ignoring the fact that the knife was, in fact, not made for fights. Cautiously as he could, he moved his index finger over the tip of the scalpel and pressed down ever so slightly. Eridan let out a startled yelp for the second time that day when he felt a small stab of pain shoot up his finger. A small drop of violet blood collected at his fingertip. Eridan silently berated himself while he sucked on the tip of his injured finger. Of course it was going to hurt when he did that, what else had he expected to happen? Still, he gave the knife a loaded look before setting it down on the top of his dresser.

Moving towards his empty desk, Eridan decided to see if there was anyone currently willing to speak with him on Trollian. Logging on to his account, he saw five other trolls online. First on the list was Tavros. That was a no; when had he ever even spoken to the lowblood? Next there was Nepeta and Terezi. Both possible options, but he'd rather not have to deal with either of their roleplaying nonsense at the moment. Karkat? No, he'd just be yelled at for starting a fight with Sollux earlier. Eridan decided he would rather not deal with Karkat's obnoxious all-caps text. Last on the list was Feferi. Eridan hesitated over her name. He desperately wanted to chat with his ex-moirail. But he decided against it when he realized she would not feel the same way, especially after he had just finished beating up her precious waste-of-space lowblooded pet. Eridan felt the beginning of small tears prickling at the corners of his eyes when he thought of those two together, laughing and smiling (Or rather just a tiny upward quirk of the lips on Sollux's part). He hated how happy Feferi always was around that mopey bipolar ass, and he hated himself for selfishly wishing that Fef would only smile for him. She deserved to be happy, even if it crushed his heart to watch.

Snapping himself out of his self-pity party, Eridan moved to log off Trollian and turn off his husktop. As fate would have it though, just before he was about to sign off a certain yellow-blooded troll's username appeared in the online box. Eridan was still pretty pissed off at Sollux, though recent events had distracted him from that fact. Seeing the yellow colored text managed to bring back almost the same level of anger he had when they were still fighting. He hovered his mouse momentarily over Sollux's username before clicking on it and opening up a chat window.

CA: Hey Sol, wwhat's up? Still feelin sore from the major beatin I gave ya?

TA: Oh God, what do you want now, Eriidan?

CA: Wwoww, rude much? I wwas just checkin up on my favorite lowwblooded piece of scum to see howw he wwas doin

TA: Gee, I'm flattered, really I am. But iif you kiindly wouldn't mind pii22iing off, that'd be great. I'm kiind of bu2y riight now.

CA: Doin wwhat, more codin? Wwhat's more important than talkin to the guy that royally kicked your sorry bass?

TA: Eriidan, I can't deal wiith your retarded fi2h pun2 today, I have a headache becau2e 2ome total douche nozzle deciided to 2tart a fiight wiith me for no rea2on. It'2 not my fault iif no one el2e want2 to talk to the poor lonely fi2h boy riight now. So go take your pi22-poor attiitude 2omewhere el2e becau2e I'm not gonna be your 2houlder to cry on today.

Eridan just gapped at the screen as he read through what Sollux typed. Him, lonely? Piss-poor attitude? Sure, he knew he was lonely, but he never assumed it was so obvious. He thought he had done a pretty good job of hiding it. Besides, what right did this worthless dirtscrappin' bulge-sucking waste pile have to judge him. Eridan took a moment to compose himself before responding.

CA: If anyone right noww has a piss-poor attitude it's you Sol. Wwhich I guess makes sense considerin your piss-poor spot on the hemospectrum. And if I evver needed a shoulder to cry on for any reason (wwhich I don't), wwhy wwould you evver think that I wwould come to you? Your vvery existence is a plague on trollmanity. You are wworth less than wwoofbeast shit and deservve evvery bit of sufferin that comes your wway.

Eridan paused after that little outburst of text. He noticed himself breathing heavily and tried to take deep slow breaths. He didn't mean to get so worked up, but something about what Sol was saying managed to touch a nerve in him. Eridan waited another moment before a reply was posted.

TA: …Well that reply diidn't 2ound defen2iive at all.

CA: It wwasn't! You're readin into these things too much, Sol. I wwas just statin the facts. You are wworthless and you deservve evvery bit of misery in your life.

TA: Ok, you know what? I've had enough of your 2hiit for one day. You wanna iin2ult me? Fiine. But maybe you 2hould take a look at your own liife and your own fault2 before poiintiing out someone el2e2. For all the 2hiit you di2h out to other2, you better be prepared to receiive ju2t a2 much iin return.

CA: Sol, does this rant havve a point to it? Cause you're kind of startin to bore me here.

TA: Yeah, ED, iit doe2. And maybe iif you actually li2tened for once in2tead of con2tantly flappiing your mouth, you'd learn 2omethiing.

CA: …Alright Sol, you'vve momentarily crabbed my attention. Noww howw about spittin out wwhat you wwanna say before I lose interest again.

TA: You, Eriidan Ampora, are the mo2t loathe2ome de2perate troll on thii2 entiire a2teroiid. You can't accept the fact that FF left you becau2e you were a terriible moiiraiil who never gave and only took. You take out all your anger and mi2ery on me becau2e you can't 2tand to 2ee her wiith anyone but you. You de2perately throw your2elf at anyone who wiill 2o much a2 giive you the tiime of day becau2e you are 2ad pathetiic 2ack that requiire2 con2tant attentiion from other2. You are whiiny and needy and your 2tupiid accent grate2 on everyone2 nerve2. You thiink you are the mo2t iimportant troll here when really we could all get on just fiine wiithout you. In fact, we would all be happiier and much better off iif you weren't here. In conclu2iion, Ampora, you are completely worthle22 in the eye2 of all your teammate2 and iit would be iin everyone2 be2t intere2t iif you ju2t dropped dead.

And with that final comment, Sollux exited their chat window and logged off of Trollian, feeling much better after his rant. Eridan, on the other hand, felt like Sollux had just repeatedly punched him in the gut. He couldn't do anything for a full ten minutes but stare shocked at the still open chat window on his husktop screen.

Slowly, with shaking hands, Eridan reached over to close the chat window. He soon realized his whole body was shaking as he sat in his chair. Was this really what everyone thought of him, or was Sollux just being an ass? Eridan sat there, trying to convince himself that it was all lies. He was a prince for cod's sake; no one was immune to his charms. And even if they somehow were, why did he have to prove himself to the common rabble? They should worship the very ground he walks on. They should-

Eridan felt the tears he had been trying so very hard to hold back pour down his cheeks. They stung as they passed by the stitched up tear on his face. A single choked sob escaped his lips, then another. Suddenly he was sobbing loudly into his hands and gasping for air. The self-loathing that he had managed to bury deep inside himself started to surface as he realized that everything Sollux had said was true, oh cod it was all true!

Eridan got up out of his chair and stared at himself in the mirror, more tears still streaming down his face. He looked at the scar on his face and began to see it in a different light. 'This ugly slash across my cheek, it's a good representation of who I am inside,' Eridan thought, 'Sollux is right, I don't deserve the life I have.' Dark thoughts circled inside his head as he continued to stare at himself in the mirror.

A new idea struck him as he stood there. If his existence was such a mistake, why should he continue to burden the others with it? This seemed a satisfactory and somewhat poetic answer to him. Now he just needed a way to go through with it. Glancing down in contemplation, Eridan laid eyes on the very knife he had lifted earlier that morning. Perfect. Along with ending his life, he could give the other trolls the joy of getting to see his beautiful blood hue all over the floor. Gamzee, at least, might enjoy that.

Eridan plucked the scalpel off the dresser top and sat on the edge of his bed. Slowly, he pointed the knife towards his throat and inched it forward. This was it; he was going to do it. He was going to take his worthless life so that the others might have some peace of mind. The tip of the blade now rested against his jugular. He could feel his pulse racing. 'So close, just thrust it forwards another few inches and it's over,' he thought. His hands shook as he counted down. 'One, two…'

He dropped the knife back on to his lap. 'Well, I suppose this can be added to my list of faults; I'm a coward as well as useless.' He choked back another sob as he played with the blade in his hands. Still, the Prince of Hope felt that he should still be punished in some way for both his cowardice and his continued existence. With a sudden spark of determination in his eyes, Eridan brought the knife down along his arm. It stung fiercely, but it also brought a strange relief. Eridan watched as his anxiety and despair washed away with the blood gushing from his arm to form a pool on the floor. A tiny smile graced his lips.

Ahhh, this is my first story ever! I hope everyone likes it. If so I'll continue. P-please be gentle with reviews sempais, it's my first time~ o/o