"GNOMES

Creature #24 Danger Unknown

I encountered my first gnome when I awoke one morning and found it arguing politics with the stuffed bear head above my fireplace. Another gnome stole my glasses and ate two of my cassette tapes! They have shown themselves capable of complex thoughts an admirable alarming ability to stack their little bodies into giant formations. So keeping my snacks on higher shelves has done nothing to stop their persistent nibbling. Can't read this. Darn. Common height is ten to eighteen inches. This includes the hat. They refuse to remove their hats. Do they have pointy heads? Unkempt beards. Almost lost a finger trying to grab the hat. Mushrooms are a huge part of the gnome's life. Used for money? Several tried to "kidnap" me as an "offering to the queen" as I was sleeping, but I just drop-kicked them out the window when I awoke. Unsettling.

WEAKNESS:

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Pointy hats! I saw one taking a "squirrel bath". I wish I could unsee this."

Gnomes! Wouldn't want to encounter one of these, would you? Well, just my luck- I have. I'm Dipper. I'm twelve years old, I live in Piedmont, California, and I have a boy-crazy twin sister named Mabel. And for the summer, I'm living with my great-uncle Stan.

Stan isn't the best relative you would want to have. He's bossy, unsympathetic, loud, and, well, technically a thief. Why? Stan transformed his house into a tourist trap called the Mystery Shack where he displays fake phenomenons. The real mystery is why anyone goes there.

So this is the deal on day one- Mabel and I arrived in Gravity Falls, a sleepy town in Oregon. Mabel was doing her whole boy-crazy-girl-hormone thing. I started mocking her- how could I not?- and she said "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now!" and you won't believe who walked in. Grunkle Stan! Things are not looking good for Mabel, are they?

Stan forced me to put up some signs in the spooky part of the forest. I tried to tell him that I've sensed creepy things there, but he brushed them away, big surprise.

I was hammering up signs and one the the trees sounded like metal! I opened a door in the tree and there was a switch. I flipped it, and a trap door in the ground opened! And in it was a journal. The journal said "trust no one".

Mabel comes back with a boyfriend. Named Normal-Man "He means Norman." Mabel giggled. They met at a cemetery. Apparently he's "deep". There was something off about this "Norman" character. I decided to consult the journal.

Flipping through the journal I encountered a page about- ZOMBIES! The description was almost exactly like Norman, Normal-Man, whatever the heck he is! I had to save Mabel! I followed them around- totally not creepy at all- and I found some suspicious happenings. I talked to Mabel and she didn't believe my "crazy conspiracies"! I accepted that she was right.

Until I saw something in a recording I took of them! Norman's hand fell off! I had to save Mabel! When I got to where Mabel was, you won't believe it- Norman was a bunch of gnomes stacked on each other! They wanted Mabel as their queen. Mabel declined and they almost kidnapped her! We ran- rather drove- away as fast as we could in the Mystery Shack golf cart. Why run away from little gnomes? Because they stacked to form a monster of unimaginable horror! We wrecked the Mystery Shack golf cart, but that was the least of our worries.

Mabel fake-agreed to be the gnome's queen. When the gnomes went to kiss Mabel, because apparently they were getting "married", Mabel shot them with a leaf blower! It was awesome!

So, that was day one of my Gravity Falls summer.