Author's Note: This is my way of paying homage to that crazy-ass fanfic Super Smash Bros. Melee: Banana Bash. Like that fanfic, this will be a crackfic and an unbelievably asinine one at that. Also, since my boyfriend is a pretty big fan of Mortal Kombat, this'll be my two-month anniversary gift for him. Star, honey, if you're reading this, then happy anniversary!
Anyway, enjoy!
-Voltalia
The brothers Master and Crazy Hand met up with each other again for the umpteenth time in the Final Destination stage. It would've appeared that both of the gods were discussing over whether to conquer the rest of the known realm (which is to say, every video game universe to ever exist) or just leave it be. Crazy Hand was all in favor for this plan, even professing his opinions on enslaving all of their creations and playing puppetmasters. The much more down-to-earth Master Hand, on the flip side, was vehemently against establishing an outright dictatorship.
"So you are saying that I've never contributed anything useful?!" Crazy Hand was so quick to assume. "HOW DARE YOU SAY ABOUT ME, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CRAZY HAND?!"
"Now, brother..." Master Hand tried to calm his discord-making brother down.
"YOU KNOW WHAT?! I AM SO DONE WITH YOU!"
"Okay, what are you going to do without me?"
Crazy Hand demonstrated by creating two ninjas who appeared to be identical in appearance except one wore a bright yellow fabric mask and the other an ice-blue mask.
"From this moment forth..." Crazy Hand began. "...I shall name thee Scorpion and Sub-Zero! Now go and kill!"
Scorpion the yellow-masked one and Sub-Zero the blue-masked one nodded simultaneously and jumped off the Final Destination stage and into the Mushroom Kingdom.
Once there, Crazy Hand's ninja children looked at each other once and began leveling every single building in sight. All the Toads and Goombas and Koopas and whatnot were panicking when they saw what was happening and started to run like cowards. (Well, except for the Toads and Goombas, since all they did was release all of their emergency spores to ensure the next generation would live.)
Meanwhile inside Princess Peach's castle, the young monarch and her live-in boyfriend Mario were getting their groove on in the master bedroom. Mario's poor brother Luigi couldn't help but listen in as he heard them moan and scream like monkeys.
"Oh, Mario!" Peach squealed as she orgasmed. "Your mushroom is so super!"
"Mama mia!" Mario cried out when he heard Peach say that. "I'm that good?"
"Oh yes, Mario! You wouldn't mind giving me an extra life, would you?"
"So it's come to this... let's-a go!"
While Luigi did have Princess Daisy for a girlfriend, he still had some feelings left for Princess Peach; it just hurt so much hearing them and their sexy shenanigans. While he was moping, though, he suddenly caught a glimpse at the destruction that was going on outside. He banged on the master bedroom door, and caught the two lovers' attention.
"Mario!" Luigi cried out. "Peach! Two ninjas from I-don't-know-where are destroying the Mushroom Kingdom!"
"Mamafucker!" Mario cried out as well. "Really?"
"Yes! Check for yourself!"
"Okey-dokey! C'mon, Peach!"
The completely nude and sweaty Italian plumber and his girlfriend emerged from the bedroom to see just exactly what was going on. By now, many of the Toads and Goombas were burning to death and still releasing their spores into the air. As for the Koopas and Lakitus and Spinies and whatnot, they were hightailing themselves into some other stages such as Big Blue and Yoshi's Island.
"Oh my Miyamoto!" Peach cried out as she clasped her hands onto her head and started trembling. "My whole kingdom is in ruins!"
"We need to get out of here and warn Yoshi about these things!" Luigi suggested. "Let's-a go!"
