"AHH, HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh reeeeally?! You think this 'Spider-man' is a THREAT?!"The Joker laughs menacingly once again at his girlfriend's trying concern.
"Well, um, Puddin', it's just that he defeated that octopus guy 'n' such. I don't want you to get hurt", Harley Quinn comments.
The Joker, with a shocked look on his face replies, "Are you comparing me to some overweight guy with eight arms stuck on his back Harley, dear?!"
"Well, no, it's just..."
"I am so truly glad you care Harley, but really? First it's a grown man dressing up as a bat claiming to be saner than I, now it's a self-proclaimed spider- man? He got bit by a spider and, voila, he's a superhero?! This is gonna be easier than I thought!"
Harley Quinn looks at the ground skeptically and silently apologises.
"OOOOO! I know! Harley, dear, would you like to come along with me to challenge this Spider-man? I'll prove to you once and for all that he is no danger whatsoever!"
Harley's face lights up immediately as she jumps up and down yelling, "Yippee! Oh, I love ya Puddin' pop! Yippee!" She leaps on top of him, knocking him down, and gives him a big kiss. As he kisses her back, the six henchman arrive, ruining the moment.
"Um...ahem...sir? We have everything ready...sir."
"Hey! Can't you see I'm having a moment here?!" The Joker screams, annoyed.
"So sorry sir", the henchman mutter weakly.
"Well, I'm feelin' good right now so I'll let it slide, come on honey, let's get started! HAHAHAHAHA!"
The Joker and his crew follow a trail of webs and crime scenes to find Spider man. When they do, he's just wrapping up a mugger for the cops.
What a goody two shoes, The Joker thinks to himself.
"Oh Spidey! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Harley sings, her voice echoing down the dark alley as they drive slowly in the Jokermobile, guns aimed and ready.
"Well, well, if it isn't the Joker..."
"Oh, don't worry yourself Spidey, it's me, alright! HAHAHA!"
"Come to fight me, I presume? Proving something? I must say, you might be even more clownish in person than in the papers..." Spider-Man retorts bitterly.
"I'll take that as a compliment! What are you supposed to be, huh? A gymnast maybe? Such tight clothes, I mean, if I were wearing such constricting clothes, I'd be grumpy too! And that's THE JOKER talkin'! Tee-Hee! At least with that on, we won't have to worry about any little Spider-Mans killing our buzz, eh Harley?"
Harley laughs, clutching her stomach and wiping tears from her eyes, "I'd say his spider-nuts are crushed just by the sound! Ahahahaha! Oh baby…"
The Joker continues; "Now, let's get down to business. I mean, I understand you not wanting to fight someone like me, but stalling? That's just low, almost as low as Batman and his sweetheart Robin! Right, Harley, baby?" The Joker asks casually.
"Ha-ha! Definitely, Mr. J- oof…!
Harley is knocked to the ground as Spider-man swings above on a thick strand of web.
"Hey! I didn't say go yet!", Harley yells as she picks herself up and lunges at her opponent. She catches him by surprise and does a roundhouse kick to the back of his head. He quickly recovers, pulling himself up onto the ledge above.
The Joker jumps with glee and triumph as he exclaims, "Ha-ha! See, Harley? If you can do it, so can I!"
He presses the button on his lapel and squirts acid on to Spider-man's connecting web, causing him to cry out in surprise as he falls to the ground. Harley's henchmen try to restrain him on the ground as Spider-man leaps up, giving the Joker a full-strength left hook.
The Joker staggers slightly and yells wildly before he gets a running start and rams his head into Spidey's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. The Joker walks calmly towards him, Spider-man struggling to get up, as he wipes blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his wrist.
"Evil never wins!"
Harley strides over to him and kicks him in the ribs. He doubles over, cringing at the pain.
"That's for earlier! Didn't ya' mother ever tell you to never hit a lady?" Harley demands angrily.
Spider-man struggles to speak, "And Joker, weren't you ever told never to use a lady to fight a coward?"
"Hey, don't you talk to my puddin' like that!" Harley shouts as she pulls out her mallet and strikes him on the head.
"Yeah! At least she fights better than you! HahaHa!", The Joker exclaims.
"Awwww! Thanks puddin'!"
"You're welcome, honey!"
As they are distracted, Spider-man manages to sit up, and shoots web at the two of them, tying them together.
"Who's the better fighter now, heh?!" Spider-man hollers triumphantly.
TO BE CONTINUED…
