Here is a short one shot... I wanted to make it McLennon at first but I remembered John´s one night stand with Brian Epstein and so... yeah. I thought to let it take place afterwards, when John´s worrying about him cheating on Cynthia shortly after Julian´s birth. So I rated it T...What else to say? Yeah: as you probably know this really happened. I just thought I´d let you know how I imagine John´s feelings after that. Now I stop brabbling and let you read.

Enjoy!


John´s POV

"How could I possibly have done this...I could kill myself for it. Or maybe it wasn´t all that wrong.

YES! It was!"

These thoughts crossed my mind all the day since three days ago, on April 9th, I went on a short holiday with Eppy. I still try to remember the details but I always end up knowing almost nothing but that we had an one night stand. I feel so irresponsible. I had left Cyn alone with Julian and had gone. But we had fought often in the last weeks so I wasn´t sure about...about anything. Our relationship wasn´t like a year ago anymore. We had changed. I don´t even know if I had married her if Julian hadn´t been. But now I was married and all that didn´t Change anything about the fact that I had an one night stand with my...our Manager.

"JOOOHN! Are you listening?"

"Oh Paul, relax" I thought.

"No sorry what did you say?" I said aloud.

"I was asking whether you were ready for the next song!" he answered.

We were in the Cavern Club and everything seemed to be as ever...only...

"JOHN are you ill or what?" I heared Paul hiss again. And in the microphone he shouted:

"Sorry, folks! We got a little technical problem up here" The audience started BOOOOing and I asked turned to Paul:

"Technical Problem? What the hell are you talking about? Me? Well, thank you very much."

"John you haven´t been here...mentally for five minutes. I had to -"

" Shut up" I said. I grabbed the microphone and told the screaming girls:

"It´s fixed again... our little "technical" Problem"

After this fight we sang two more Songs and then I rushed out so fast those stupid girls didn´t have time to react.


Paul´s POV

I wasn´t stupid. I knew something was wrong with John. But I couldn´t quite figure out what it was. He had been like this since the day before yesterday. I was seriously worrying about him. Partly because of our career and partly simply because he was my friend. he seemed to be frightened ... about what I didn´t know.

"Paul?" Ringo asked. " Are you gonna be ill as well?"

"Nah, I was just thinking about John.."

"Go on thinking. I just wanted to say bye. I´m gonna go"

"Bye Ringo"


John´s POV

I couldn´t tell Cyn. Impossible. But I always thought that we were not the couple we had been anyways. it was hopeless. when I tried not to think about it it got even worse. I felt so bad.

I had just arrived home and rang the doorbell. It took me several minutes to realise that Cyn couldn´t possibly open the door as she was still in Hospital. I eventually found my keys and went in. But as soon as the door-problem had vanished I had to think about it again. So finally I decided to talk to Eppy the next day.


Brian´s POV

When John came in I knew something was wrong. He looked terrible.

"Morning John"

"Hi"

"What´s wrong?"

"Er...you know in Spain..."

"Ah well I admit it was a little... stupid"

"I don´t know how to deal with it. I can´t tell Cyn neither can I tell the other lads. I can´t think of anything else..."

"Was I that good?"

" Oh fuck you Brian! That´s not funny. You can´t omagine how horrible I feel!"

"Joh..."

He was gone. I felt a bit guilty.


John´s POV

I decided I could live with it. Maybe I would find someone I could tell it. It wasn´t that bad. it was just... queer. That was weird. I was weird. The whole world was weird. That´s the reason why I decided I could shove it away from my thoughts. I think that´s correct so.

Let´s go on with life!


Sorry! These last two may sound a bit weird. There were these thoughts in my head but I couldn´t really type them out. Please forgive me possible mistakes! I hope you like it anyways. If you do please leave a Review! :)