This is the first story I have uploaded here so have mercy. This story is actually written by my friend Linda and I. We are currently working on a sequal...

Ok so I guess I have to do a disclaimer I own nothing of importance, especially not Bleach or Naruto.

Warnings For the Story itself: mild spoilers if you don't keep up with the storyline of both stories (aka you have been hiding under a rock and ignoring the outside world). Main warning is randomness (I will not say that for the next chapters this is your only warning)

Warnings for this chapter: lack of cheek pinching, out of character characters, creepy people, and nicknames.

So now you can enjoy the story and ignore my rambling.


One random day…

One random day…. yes a random day…ok fine I forgot what day it was…so anyway…one random day my friend Linda and I were minding our own business when we suddenly pooped-in to the anime Bleach. Yes I said pooped-in, because that's what I said instead of poofed-in. Ok minding our own business meant that we were watching the anime Bleach and were discussing the pinch-ability of Captain Hitsugaya's cheeks (on his face you pervert). Now imagine our intense shock to suddenly find ourselves in front of the before mentioned captain.

"Candice what just happened?" Linda asked resisting the urge to pinch his cheeks.

"I think we just pooped-in."

"Huh?" Linda asked holding up a sign with a giant question mark printed on it.

"I meant poofed." I said to Linda as Hitsugaya glared at the two of us.

"Why are we here?"

"How should I know?" I asked looking around me and spotting an anime anger symbol sign and holding it next to my head.

"You knew the answer to the first question."

"Who are you girls, and why are you here?" Hitsugaya asked glaring at us with an actual anger sign on his forehead.

"How come he gets to have real anger signs and we don't?" I asked Linda ignoring Hitsugaya's presence and question.

"I don't know but I wanna pinch his cheeks." Linda said as Hitsugaya's eyes went wide and he ran away from us. "Dang it he got away." Linda said holding up a sign that said pout on it.

"I wonder how many signs we have." I asked as I began taking signs out of the air and throwing them into a pile next to me. Meanwhile Linda continues her pouting while staring at my now huge pile of signs. When my pile became larger than me I stopped. "Ok I know how many we have now."

"How many?"

"Enough." I said smiling. "Hey Linda is that who I think it is?"

"Hey it's Baldy!" In response to her exclamation I went back into my pile and pulled out a sign that said 'yay'.

"Ik-Ik… what's his actual name?"

"Ikka…Ikka…ku. Ikkaku."

"I'm just gonna call him Baldy."

"What are you two girls doing there?" Ikkaku asked us when he finally arrived.

"Baking pie." Was my sarcastic response.

"Thinking of ways to make you do what we want." Was Linda's honest answer.

"Huh?" Ikkaku said with a giant question mark floating over his head.

"I want a floating question mark." I pouted stealing Linda's pout sign from her.

"Aw is Baldy confused?"

"Baldy, Baldy, Baldy." Linda and I hear a high pitched child's voice say. "I like those girls Ken-chan."

"Yachiro!" Linda and I said in unison.

"You know me?"

"That means Ken…Ken…what the crap is his name?"

"I think its Ken…pa…Kenpa."

"Chi!" Linda and I shouted gleefully in unison. Then Linda and I pointed at Kenpachi and said, "Chi!"

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan, is Chi." Yachiro yelled happily.

"What!"

"Anyways, Linda we should probably run, or find a Cafeteria."

"Find a cafeteria?"

"I'm hungry."

"What are you Ryoka doing here?" Ikkaku asked suddenly.

"Planning a party." Linda blurted.

"For what?"

"Our Birthdays."

"Oh it's your birthday! Lets get some cake." Yachiro said jumping off of Kenpachi to jump around us.

"I like cake." I said simply.

"Cake! Cake! Cake!" Yachiro said jumping around.

"Hey, Chi, if you protect us and be a bouncer at our party we'll give miss bubblegum hair a sleeping potion and keep her away from the sugary substance known as cake." I whispered into Kenpachi's ear making him nod in agreement.

"What was that about?" Linda asked me.

"Chi is our new bouncer for our party. Hey Baldy you're invited to our party."

"I am?"

"Yes. Oh and could you go tell people that there is a party in the cafeteria and tell us where the cafeteria is?"

"Sure, the cafeteria is two lefts and a right from here."

"Thanks."

"Bye-bye Baldy." Linda smiled and waved.

"To the cafeteria." I said marching away hoping they would follow me.


Meanwhile at Byakuya's place

"I swear these two girls popped out of nowhere and started saying crazy things. Then they tried to pinch my cheeks." Hitsugaya said facing some of his peers.

"Then you ran away as fast as your little legs could carry you." Matsumoto remarked.

"I did not. I-I gracefully took my leave of them to come tell you of their appearance."

"Gracefully ran away then." Renji said barely containing his laughter at the small captain. Just then a knock was heard at the door.

"Who is it?" the calm voice of Byakuya asked.

"It's Ikkaku, I have news. Sorry to interrupt your um…meeting." Baldy said looking at the two vice captains that could barely contain their laughter and at the angry captain. "Well I was on patrol-"

"Hurry up and tell us the news." Hitsugaya interrupted.

"Fine. There is a party in the cafeteria. I'm supposed to get people to come."

"Party?" Renji asked excited.

"It's going to be so cool." Ikkaku said excited for some odd reason.

"What's the party for?" the ever present voice of reason that is Byakuya asked.

"These two girl's birthday."

"Them." Hitsugaya said angrily. "I'll go show them that they can not pinch my cheeks."

"You know what's really cool?" Baldy asked Renji, ignoring the small captain.

"What?"

"They somehow convinced Kenpachi to be their bouncer."

"I wonder how they did that." Byakuya wondered out loud, "I am going to see how they tamed Kenpachi."


at the cafeteria

"Whee, streamers!"

"Hey, Yachiro, I have some punch for you." I say as I give her the potion that would make her sleep. Linda and I then dragged her sleeping body to the corner of the room and nonchalantly continued decorating.

"Hey, Candice?"

"Yes?"

"Where did all this stuff come from?"

"I found it."

"Where?"

"The same place I got my question mark on a stick."

"Oh." Linda said as four Shinigami came in.

"Oh look its Bya…um Bya…"

"Byaku…"

"Look it's Bya." I said pointing to Byakuya making him get an angry sign on his forehead.

"It kind-of sounds like beer when you say it that way."

"Yeah, but I still want to be able to have the anger symbol and such without having to hold up a sign."

"See, there are those two girls, saying strange things again."

"Look it's Hitsugaya again, let's pinch his cheeks." Linda said chasing after him.

"Hey, Chi. You have to start guard duty now."

"Why?"

"No girls allowed but us." I said smiling creepily.

"But I want to stay at the party." Matsumoto whined.

"Ok let's leave it up to Hitsugaya," Linda offered, "Do you want her to stay?"

"No, she can leave."

"Chi!" I said watching with amusement as Matsumoto kicked and screamed as she was escorted out. "Wait, I have an idea. We will have a reject room party thing. Chi, put her in that room." I pointed to a door that wasn't there before that said in large obnoxiously orange letters 'reject room'. Linda laughed at Matsumoto and pinched Hitsugaya's cheeks.

"I hate you." Hitsugaya said anger signs popping up. I then decided he needed some more so I took an anger-sign-on-a-stick and I then held it next to his head.

"Ok, maybe you should stop pinching him for a bit Linda."

"Fine." Linda said holding up the pout sign once more. We heard knocking once more on the door.

"I'll get it!" I said happily. I opened the door to see the rest of the shinigamis. "Ok, so everyone travels in one pack…that's odd. Do you take organized bathroom trips also?"

"No." was the immediate unison response.

"That was weird." Linda commented holding up a sweat-drop sign.

"Uh-huh. Ok peoples, um yeah. I forgot what I was going to say. I remember now, no girls allowed in the main party all females must join the other party."

"Where is said party?" asked a women's voice from the crowd.

"In the room marked 'reject room'. Okies. Now for the rest of you, I don't know if I want all of you in here. What do you think Linda?"

"Creepy black-faced-yellow-eyed guy is creepy."

"Did you see his creepy nails too…shudder? Ok Creepy-black-faced-yellow-eyes-creepy-nail guy you must leave. Add weird shaped head to that description."

"I don't want to."

"Chi!" Linda screamed eager to send away the creepy guy who had started to stare creepily at me. Kenpachi then escorted him out.

"Yay, no more creepy stares." I said as I looked over the rest of the guys. "Let's sort you guys like this…first division step up."

"Too old." Linda said simply. "Reject room."

"Second. Ok big guy, I suppose you can stay. One wrong move and I will sick Chi on you."

"Yes, Ma'am." Marechiyo, Ōmaeda the lieutenant said obnoxiously loud.

"You shall be…O-man with the big mouth." I said seriously making Linda crack-up laughing. "Third division."

"Candice," Linda said pulling me to the corner of the room to whisper, "Gin is a bad guy, we should make him leave."

"What happens when he asks why he has to leave? Plus I think we should deny all knowledge of future events."

"Makes sense. Kira can stay either way."

"Ok," I said as I returned to the doorway. "Gin, Kira you may stay."

"What no nick-name for us?" Gin asked smiling.

"Fine, Foxy and Banana haired boy." I said dismissing them with a wave of my hand; Gin's smile increasing (if that's even possible) at my antics.

"Foxy? I like it." Gin said staring at me, but not staring because his eyes were closed. (how can he see?)

"Banana haired boy?" Kira asked softly as he passed us. Linda and I looked at each other smiling at his obvious dislike for the name.

"Fourth." I called, seeing only one-fourth division member there- Yamada Hanatarō. "Ok you can come to the party, right Linda?"

"Yup." Linda said pushing the frightened (for no apparent reason) boy into the room.

"Fifth, gosh this is taking forever."

"Agreed." Linda said as Aizen appeared in front of us smiling kindly at us.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh." Linda and I both screamed at the same time pointing, and then abruptly we both stopped and calmly looked at him.

"Huh?" Aizen wondered giant question mark floating above his head.

"Fine you can come to the party." I decided, trying to stay on the psychopathic traitor's good side.

"Sixth."

"We're already here." Came Bya's cool voice from directly behind me and I mean directly. "Um, ok. Oops. You do realize you're invading my bubble by standing directly behind me right?"

"Bubble?" He asked taking a step back.

"Ok, um, Seventh. Ok, wolf and sunglass boy can come to the party."

"Eighth." Linda said realizing that if she said the numbers it would go faster, especially since she can yell louder than me. A man came in with a pointed straw hat drinking out of a small glass-plate-thing.

"Ok, um, you can go in pervert-guy."

"Ninth." Linda called as two men enter one wearing glasses and an obnoxious orange scarf thing and the other sporting a 69 tattoo.

"Ok, Orange-scarf man and 69 you may go in."

"Eleventh." Baldy and Ayasegawa Yumichika walk in at Linda's call.

"Ok, Baldy and extremely vain guy, or should we call them shiny head and vanity man? Mr. Clean and long eye-brow guy?"

"Let's just use all of them!" Linda exclaimed happily.

"Ok." I said as the two aforementioned men went into the party grumbling about the fact that they have more nicknames than anyone else.

"Twelfth." At Linda's call Mayuri was back.

"Um, you're still too creepy to stay." I said simply.

"Thirteenth." A long white haired man was the last person there making Linda's shout unnecessary.

"You pass." I said sick of greeting people. Which apparently was ok because they were the last. I looked out the door and saw Ichigo and them making their entrance. I quickly shut the door and went back to the party holding up a sweat-drop sign when I saw that Linda had resumed pinching Hitsugaya's cheeks.

"Can I use the bathroom?" Kenpachi asked randomly.

"I dunno, can you?" I asked as he got an anger symbol.

"Yes you can, so go." Linda said pausing in her pinching to shoo him away towards the bathroom. As soon as Kenpachi was out of the room Mayuri snuck back in. Mayuri decided that he wanted a hug…from me.

"Why is he here?" I asked no-one in particular.

"You smell good." Mayuri said as he held me from behind.

"Linda, he's creepy make him go away." I whined as I attempted to struggle out of his hold.

"Chi!" Linda shouted receiving no response. "I guess he can't hear me."


In the Bathroom

Kenpachi attempted to escape out the small window. He realized that escaping through there would be impossible when his hair wouldn't even fit through it. He then looked around him and noticed a spoon, randomly on the ground and decided to try to tunnel his way out. While he was breaking the tile he heard a noise that sounded oddly like his nickname, he ignored it and began to dig faster.


As you can see Linda has an obsession with pinching Hitsugaya's cheeks, she thinks he's cute. Why is Kenpachi trying to dig out of the bathroom? I honestly don't know...but he is.

Preview:

"Eternal rival do not try to destroy this beautiful women's youth by stealing affection." Gail said as he appeared out of no-where.

"Hey Gai, if you're going to stay you have to change. I have a strict no leotard policy."

"No not my green-sign of eternal youth!"