Prologue:
Hatred.
She strongly disliked the word, however it was the closest word she had in her small mind to describe her feelings towards her situation.
A normal girl going to a normal, if large, high school with normal, if advanced, classes. To her this was the norm- we all did it- and to lose the sense of normalcy was certainly doing wonders for her perfectly stable mental outlook. She missed the constant stress- accompanied by the familiar nausea and shaking hands, the hours spent for single moment occasions- "I can't I have band, I have to study", and the thoughts of her now lost future- I always used to break down at the thought of my surely imminent failure. All her problems were first world priorities and she ha- strongly disliked her own selfishness for bemoaning her situation- both then and now.
She, herself, did not struggle. She was average, in her eyes, for her time. So her single mother had to work multiple jobs to support their family? They were still middle class and living in an expensive area. Looking back she realizes how much she hates herself for not being sooner.
But she could not dwell on it any longer, for there were people here in this horrible yet so, so wonderful world that needed her. . . She may not continue to live for herself- still such a liar, so prideful- but her loyalty- ever-present cowardice regarding her demise and the hope that maybe, just maybe I can ret- would allow her to carry on.
