TITLE: A Matter of Privacy

AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!

DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy

inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to my Remus - Amber - for whose friendship and devotion I shall be everlastingly grateful.

A Matter of Privacy

Chapter One - A Tricky Situation

Remus J. Lupin is a very private person. He prides himself on being the epitome of privacy and discretion. Some consider him to be closemouthed, shy even, difficult to get to know. But his friends realize that still waters run deep and like an iceberg, there is much more of him beneath the surface than most people give him credit for. But there is also much that he chooses to keep hidden, because he feels it is his right to do so. And among these things is his relationship with one Sirius Black.

Remus and Sirius share a flat - Sirius' flat to be precise - obtained with the money left to him by his Uncle Alphard, after he was disowned by his family for a variety of reasons, one of which was Remus Lupin. They have shared this flat ever since they left Hogwarts, and live together quite happily there. They have also been a couple, in the romantic sense of the word - not just the two people who happen to occupy the same space kind of way - quite happily ever since their fifth year together at Hogwarts. But this is something they choose not to share with anyone. Mostly because Remus doesn't wish to share this. That privacy thing he has going on. Sirius goes along with what Remus says in this, as in most things, because he loves him to distraction, and would do anything for him, but sometimes it bothers him. He wishes that when they were in public together, he could take Remus' hand and simply hold it. Or turn to him on the spur of the moment, and get a kiss. Put an arm around his shoulder when Remus takes him to the muggle cinema - even in the darkness of the theater, the werewolf observes proprieties. Which only elicits a stifled sigh from Sirius when he watches the couples around them involved in activities that run the gamut from handholding to fullfledged snogging - and wishes that he could tell the world that he loves Remus Lupin with the last breath of his body. But he cannot, and he accepts the way things are, because of his great love for Remus.

But sometimes there are Fates that care not for the well-ordered plans of lycanthropes and animagi, who like to throw a spanner in the works, and bullocks things up a bit. . .

Remus stands in the kitchen of their flat, at the stove to be precise, stirring the sauce he has made, and which he has timed down to the nth degree to be ready precisely when the pasta is. Okay, maybe to be even more precise, it is glorified macaroni and cheese. But they are on a budget, and must do what they can. Sirius has his job as an auror, but it is difficult for Remus to obtain work - and keep it - because people cannot see past the stigma attached to something which he is neither responsible for, and which he is not controlled by, other than one night a month, and they define him by this condition, and find that they have no place for him within their employ. For now, though, he has found employment part-time in a nice book store - Stolen Hours, by name. But he does not work many hours, and spends most of his time tidying up the flat, and having dinner ready for Sirius when he returns from the Ministry.

Remus has steamed some fresh broccoli to go with the pasta, and will add a bit of last night's leftover chicken, and today he has baked a loaf of bread, the aroma of which fills the flat, giving it a very homey quality indeed. He sniffs appreciatively at the scent, knowing that it will hit Sirius' nostrils upon entering the building, even as he climbs the four floors to reach Remus and home. And he knows that his puppy will appreciate it as well.

Sure enough, there is the door to the outside world opening now - he'd know that creak anywhere. How often has he waited for just that sound, waiting for Sirius to appear, tired from his day of work, happy to be back with his heart again. He gives the sauce a final stir - it'll be fine while he greets his lover - wipes his hands upon the apron that he wears - the one that Sirius bought him which says Kiss the Cook, of course. But Sirius has picked out part of the threading on the second o, so that now it resembles a c - and Remus only wears it when it is the two of them together, never in front of company. Their own personal joke. He moves toward the door, a smile of welcome prepared for his lover, for he has missed him greatly, even the few hours that they have been apart.

The door to the flat opens, and the first thing that Remus sees is a hand - a very familiar hand - thrust through the opening, within its grasp a bunch of pink and yellow daisies. Remus recognizes them - they grow just outside the flat - in the landlady's windowbox, in fact. She prides herself on being able to grow them, even in October, when most blossoms are but a faded memory in someone's scrapbook. He frowns for a moment, thinking she'll have their heads for this. "Sirius, get in here," he says, restraining the growl that rises in the back of his throat at the thought of placating the irrascible Mrs. Dingledine - again.

A second hand appears - how Sirius manages that without the rest of his body showing is beyond Remus, but there he is and there is a box of chocs in his hand - cream-filled, even, the way that Remus likes them. Now the wolf's suspicions are definitely roused. What the hell has Sirius done now that he feels the need to buy Remus off like this, especially when money is so tight that a piece of chocolate is a rare treat indeed, much less a box - for as much as Remus would love to have more, he knows they cannot afford it and he makes no complaint. So whatever it is, it can't be good, and the youth braces himself, even as he repeats, "Sirius, get your arse in here..."

And now here he is - whole, complete, and in the flesh - and looking amazingly guilty. Which only makes Remus' heart thump faster in his chest as he began to imagine the worst. He's been fired - he's killed someone he shouldn't - someone knows about us - or, worst of all - he's found someone else and he's in love with him! He begins to breathe heavily, panting painfully, as his imagination runs away with him, for Remus has always been amazed that of all the people in the world, Sirius Black chose him, for he feels that he is nowhere near good enough for him. And now perhaps Sirius has figured that out as well.

"Remy, you know I love you..." Sirius begins in a voice that is almost a whine. Well, part of Remus' fears are allayed with those words but not all.

"Set that lot down and come into the kitchen before I burn dinner," Remus grumbles, turning away lest Sirius see the tears in his eyes which he hastily wipes away, tears of relief even, that Sirius is still his. He knows the other boy will follow him. And of course he does.

Remus drains the pasta carefully in the collander in the sink, before rinsing it and turning it into a casserole dish, and adding the cheese sauce, which he stirs thoroughly. Then the broccoli florets, and the chicken, and then he sets it into the oven to warm through, which won't take long. Then he turns back to his lover, having calmed down a tad. "All right, Sirius, what's this all about then?" he inquires in a no-nonsense voice.

"Well, I was talking to James at work today," Sirius begins, twisting his tie about between his fingers - he hates wearing this thing, claims it chokes him, stifles him even, although he wore one every day for seven years at Hogwarts - for some reason it has come to symbolize pain and suffering to him. Remus suspects he is just a big ham, and ignores most of that. That and Sirius' unwillingness to follow conformity of any kind.

"You talk to James every day," Remus responds.

"Well, yus, I do... but he was talking about the wedding..."

"He's always talking about the wedding, Sirius, is there a point to this?"

"Yes, if you'll let me get to it." That comes out sharper than intended. Remus' head lifts in surprise, his eyes widening slightly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Sirius hastily amends, reaching for one of Remus' hands, and he strokes the back of it gently.

James Potter has finally persuaded one Lily Evans to marry him - it took years of doing, though. Even just to get her to go out with him. But love has triumphed in the end, and the wedding is coming up soon, and both Remus and Sirius are excited for their friends.

"Well, he's asked me to be his best man, Remus..."

"Sirius, I know that, remember? I was there when he asked you." Remus is getting really nervous now. Whatever this is it must be really unpleasant.

"Yes, but today he explained to me something he kindof forgot to mention before, about being best man and all..." Sirius, being pureblood and unversed in the ways of muggles, knows nothing about muggle weddings whatsoever, and Remus' experience with them is rather limited. So he is clueless as to what Sirius is going on about.

"What? That you have to give him the bachelor party?" Remus wrinkles his brow in concentration, trying to remember what little he does know. "That's no big deal, we'll just take him out to a pub, with Pete, and get him snookered."

"No, it's not that," Sirius maintains, and he finds the words hard to get out of his mouth. "It's...it's..."

"It's what? Sirius, you're scaring me..." And Remus does look very terrified at this moment.

"It's just that as best man I have to go with the maid of honor and that is Hestia Jones!" Sirius blurts out at last.

"You what?" Remus blinks. Quickly. The more he blinks, the more upset he is. And at this moment he looks like a poster child for the semaphore society.

"Remy, I have to go with Hestia to the wedding!" Sirius' voice is both sorrowful and fearful, as he waits to see the reaction to those words. "I mean...as a date...cause he thinks I'm...you know...straight...and unattached..."

It always comes to that, doesn't it? Remus draws his lips into a thin line, but it is obvious how very unhappy he is. He busies himself at the oven, takes out the casserole, and serves two portions of it, along with the fresh bread, and a cup of tea each.

"Sit down and eat," he says gruffly, but his voice cannot disguise his pain.

"Remy..." Sirius tries to draw him into his arms, but Remus pulls back. "Just eat!" he snaps, and flees to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him, before he loses control and begins to cry, leaving a tearful Sirius behind him.