Just a head's up: This a teeny bit AU, but only to the extent that Tucker never became mayor at the end of Phantom Planet. That and Danny's secret is known throughout all of Amity Park, not just people who were in the North Pole.

I needed something humorous to work on while I'm in the process of rebooting one of my angsty fics for another series. For those wondering about 'Tender Love and Scare', the next chapter will be in over the weekend, most likely Saturday due to New Year's Eve.

With that out of the way, enjoy me unleashing the weirdness I have within my mind and I'll see you when the ride gets off.

Prologue

To be honest, I had no idea everything was gonna escalate so quickly.

But it did, and now we're all paying for it.

I'm looking around from my hiding place within my locker, shaking my head and trying to keep a straight face acknowledging the fact everyone's gone completely crazy because of me.

There's Dash over there, running around in circles in a fixed path and screaming something about how his teddy bears have come to life and are trying to kill everyone.

"Don't you people get it?! THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE ALL COMING WITH THEIR PLASTIC KNIVES OF TERROR AND DESTRUCTION! WE'RE ALL GONNA GET STUFFED!"

He's been repeating that like a broken record and running around for the past hour, by the way.

Mr. Lancer's coming down the hall, dressed up like his sister and skipping along like the school isn't falling apart around him.

"EVERYDAY IS SUCH A WONDERFUL DAY…"

I shudder for that poor man, but hey, at least no one's able to record him.

Paulina's eating a bunch of tubes of chocolate flavored lip balm like it's candy.

Over by the janitor's closet, Principal Ishiyama's getting shoved in by my fellow nerds, all of whom are shirtless and covered in acrylic paint from the art room. She's desperately trying to call the police to disengage everyone, but the cell signal got blocked the moment our new 'supreme high ruler of the school' got crowned.

"Children, put me down!"

"DOWN WITH THE SAVAGE!" the entire school population cries before getting back on with their controlled insanity.

Valerie just thinks we're all ghosts and she's shooting at us all with a ball launcher she pulled from nowhere. That's the real reason I'm hiding, since she's currently targetting me.

Why isn't Danny trying to do something to stop this? Well, that's cause he's currently in the gym, (which he froze and turned into his own personal winter playground) belly sliding, hunting a bunch of 'fish' that are really tennis balls, and squawking like a dying bird.

Did I mention Danny thinks he's a penguin? Yeah, he thinks he's a penguin. He somehow got himself into a costume too, and considering he tried nibbling on my hat when this all started to affect him too, that's a mystery in and of itself.

And Sam? Well, remember the 'supreme high ruler of the school' thing?

"REMEMBER TO ALL EAT YOUR TURF-WICHES AND GLASSES OF FILTERED WATER FOR LUNCH, PEONS!"

Yep… Me and the principal are the only normal ones left.

And to think all it took to kick off this mess was a dinky little pocket watch...