The Ed of this Pain
So, this is my first Ed Edd n Eddy fic.
(TRIGGER WARNINGS: SELF-HARM and SUICIDAL THOUGHTS)
XXX
He stared up at the ceiling as he was lying on the floor. He tried to push away his thoughts, but the more he did so, the more thoughts pounded inside his skull.
"You're not good enough!"
"You should just die already!"
"No one would miss you!"
"Just die! Die! Die!"
He was at a loss. It's not even like anyone had said such things to him. He was telling himself these things. And with each time he thought them, he believed them more and more. Tears stung behind his eyelids, but none fell. His eyes were dry, so he couldn't even release some of his pain by crying.
Tap. Tap.
He heard rocks hitting against his window, and he forced himself up to investigate. He pulled apart the curtains a bit to see the other Eds below his window.
"Hey, sockhead!" called Eddy. "Come on! Ed rented that movie we were gonna watch!"
He sighed and shook his head before pulling the curtains shut once more. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started texting:
My apologies, but I do not feel well. I think I should rest for a while. I hope you two have fun watching the film.
A second after he sent the text, he received a reply from Eddy:
Whatever. Smell ya later, then.
Double D pinched the bridge of his nose before sinking back down to the floor.
XXX
Double D woke up, still lying on the floor. Stiffly, he pulled himself up and made his way to the kitchen. He started the coffee pot up, disregarding the note that reminds him that too much caffeine isn't good for him. He slumped down in a chair at the kitchen table and slammed his head down. He then sat there, waiting for the coffee to brew, only to fall asleep once more.
XXX
"Alright, class, I'm going to assign a new project. I will be pairing you all up to create a short documentary on one of the following topics…," the teacher announced.
Kevin listened to the teacher read from the packet he had already given his students. Eventually, the teacher started reading off the list of partners.
"Nazz and Drew… Carol and Josephine… Kevin and Eddward…," said the teacher.
The teacher went on until everyone was paired up.
"Okay, there's only five minutes left in class, so get with your partners and choose your topic," the teacher ordered.
Kevin looked around to locate Double D, but realized that, for once, he wasn't in class. With a huff, Kevin walked up to the teacher's desk.
"Double D isn't here today," he said.
"Hm… Well, don't you two live nearby? Maybe you could just quickly ask him after school," the teacher told him.
Kevin nodded and went back to his desk, although he didn't feel overly excited that he had to go to the dork's house. Their relationship wasn't as bad as when they were younger, but it wasn't like they were friends. It was more like they just didn't even speak to each other anymore. A few minutes later, the bell rang, releasing the students for the day.
XXX
Double D still sat at the kitchen table, but he was no longer asleep. He now stared at his arms, covered in crimson red slashes. He was somewhat horrified, but at the same time… he felt a little relieved. When he pushed away the thoughts, they stayed away this time. He stood up and got out his first aid kit to cleanse and bandage the wounds, followed by cleaning up the blood from the table and knife. Just as he finished doing do, he heard a knock at the door. With what seemed to be the millionth sigh that day, he went to the door and pulled it open. He expected to see his two friends standing there, but instead, he saw someone he didn't expect at all: Kevin.
"…Salutations, Kevin…," he greeted.
"Hey, Double Dork. Our English teacher partnered us on an assignment, so here's the packet. We need to pick a topic for a documentary," Kevin explained shortly.
"… I don't particularly favor any of these topics over another," Double D answered.
"Okay, can we just do Hemmingway or something, then?" Kevin asked.
"That sounds fine, Kevin," Double D agreed. "Should we start working on it after school tomorrow?"
"Sure," Kevin nodded.
"Alright… I'll see you tomorrow, Kevin…," Double D said as he started to shut the door.
However, Kevin grabbed the door handle to stop him from doing so.
"Hold on, Kevin said. "What's up with the bandages?"
Double D glanced down at his arms, a bit of panic finding its way into his eyes. He, however, quickly brought up a mask of indifference.
"A science experiment went wrong and my beaker exploded," he lied.
"… Okay, then, Dork," Kevin replied. "See ya tomorrow."
XXX
Kevin and Double D were working on their project in Double D's bedroom. They had finished drafting their script, so Double D was typing it on his lap top. Kevin, who had nothing to do until they started filming was watching Double D's fingers as they flew across the keyboard. Kevin's glance slowly moved up to the bandages still covering up his arms. Something about Double D's explanation made Kevin think it was a lie, but he also knew that Double D getting hurt in an experiment gone wrong wouldn't be all that strange. He then looked to the dork's eyes. They were uncharacteristically dull and full of despair. After seeing this, a new suspicion popped up in Kevin's brain.
"So, what experiment were you doing?" Kevin asked.
"Hm?" Double D questioned, his eyes never leaving the screen and his hands never slowing.
"When you hurt your arms," Kevin clarified.
"I was doing an experiment with rust, but I mistook my sodium for iron. The result was quite disastrous," Double D explained.
Kevin stared at him. This time, he knew the dork was lying. Something about his tone was off. However, Kevin didn't think that pressing the issue would get Double D to admit to the lie, so he just nodded and pretended he believed him.
XXX
Within a week, their assignment was finished and turned in. However, after his suspicion appeared, he couldn't get it out of his mind. So, even after they were no longer partners, he found himself glancing at Double D often during school. This, of course, didn't escape the attention of Nazz.
"So, do you like, have a crush on double D or something?" she asked during lunch.
"No, Nazz," he replied.
"Then why have you been staring at him so much lately?" she continued.
Kevin thought for a moment.
"I think something's going on with him," Kevin answered.
"Like what?" Nazz questioned.
"Never mind. It's just a suspicion," Kevin brushed it off.
"Come on, dude. It's clearly important if you have to stare at him all day. Spill it," she told him.
"I'll tell you later. It's not something I should say in a crowded place," he replied, defeated.
Nazz nodded.
XXX
"No way! Not Double D!" Nazz exclaimed.
"I don't know for sure, but that seems to make the most sense. He was clearly lying when I asked him about it," Kevin said.
"What should we do?" Nazz asked.
"I have no clue," Kevin replied.
"Well, in health class, they told us we should tell the guidance counselor… but if he isn't, then he would probably be pretty mad…," Nazz continued.
They sat silently for a moment.
"It's probably better to make sure he's okay… I think we should tell them," Kevin said finally.
Nazz nodded solemnly.
XXX
Edd stared down at his arms, the red coating them once more. Slowly, he took a deep breath in and held it for a few seconds before releasing it. As his blood welled up from the cuts and streamed down his arm, he held them over the sink to prevent as much mess as he could. Edd turned on the faucet and allowed the cold water to wash away the pain along with his blood.
XXX
"Eddward -, please report to the guidance office. Eddward -, please report to the guidance office."
Kevin glanced toward the dork as he stood up, clearly confused as to why he was being called.
"I hope this works out…," Kevin thought.
XXX
So, if people like this, I'll probably continue this, but if people don't, then I'll probably just leave it open-ended. Anyway, thanks for reading.
