This is for the girls on the BL S&S thread. I know I don't speak very much that's because I'm from Spain and all of you are online while I'm sleeping but I really enjoy the time I spend there and I really love reading everything you write about BL. Thank you for let me share my BL love with you.
Núria
Brooke's POV
It was the thursday before the wedding, I was stressed and I couldn't think of anything that could make me feel better. Julian was back in Tree Hill for the big day and he brought Missy as his date. Missy. Yes, the girl who was supposed to play me in the film. Funny. But...why was I complaining? I deserved that. He told me he loved me and I didn't say it back. He wanted me to move in with him to California and I said no. But God, I only knew him for a month. What was I supposed to do?
"Brooke, Are you listening to me?" said Peyton who was complaining about her baby bump.
"Sorry, I was just absent. , stop complaining, you look gorgeous with that dress."
"Thank you my amazing maid of honor. Of course you say I'm gorgeous and that's because you don't have this awful bump... You'll be much prettier than me."
"That's the price you have to pay for you pregnancy" I said trying to be funny.
"Very funny. Can you go to the bedroom and pick my shoes? They're on the closet, on the upper shelves."
I smiled back at her and went to the bedroom where I used to live in back in junior year. I opened the closet and while I was trying to reach the box something fell on my head. I picked it up and realize it was a book. On the front cover there was a picture of a box full of letters and the title was: "Meant to be". I opened the book and saw a picture of Lucas and me back in senior year when we used to date, at the front there was a quote that it said: "People that are meant to be together always find their way in the end." Brooke Penelope Davis. I was on the verge of tears.
". Are you okay? Need some help?" said Peyton taking me back to reality.
"I'm okay, I'm coming" I picked the book and put it on my handbag.
When I arrived at home I went to my bedroom, I needed to know what did Lucas write about me and when. I stayed up all night reading everything I always wanted to hear from Lucas. There were a few chapters about how he met me and how he fell in love with me. I cried when I read the way he felt about me when he kissed me at the end of junior year. And it was hard to read how crushed he was when we broke up.
Today Brooke broke up with me. I don't how it happened I didn't even know what to say. I stayed in my bedroom without saying anything. I couldn't even told her I love her. Because I do, and just like she said to me, I'll always do. After standing there for more than two hours my mother has came and she has said the dinner was ready. And then I've told her.
"You know what they say right? If you love someone set her free..." she has said with a smile on her face. "That's what Keith and I did"
"But what if she doesn't come back? What if she stopped loving me?"
"She loves you, you just have to give her time. You have to fight for her"
----
When I read that, I promise it all came back to me. The break up, him with Peyton in my birthday, that party at Rachel's. How could I come back to him if he was happy being without me? How could I trust him if he was meant to be with Peyton?
"I'm home" said Sam.
I looked at the clock, it was early. I wiped my tears knowing she would come to see me as soon as she'd take off her coat.
"Hi Brooke" said Sam opening the door.
"Hi Sam. How was your day?" I said faking a smile.
"Pretty good. I saw Julian at the café. He was with Brooke's annoying version"
"Don't call her that. I bet she's a nice girl."
"He did it on purpose. And you know what? You kinda deserve it"
"Ok, Sam. If you're here to tell me how silly I am for not moving with Julian you can go now. I know that song very well."
"What are you reading?" said Sam looking at the book that was on my bed table.
"Uhm... it's nothing. A book about a boy who thinks he loves the wrong girl."
"It must suck for the girl."
"Yes, it does."
"I'm going to bed. Nighty night Brooke." she smiled and then I heard her shut her door.
I went back to my reading, I knew that was the worst thing to do but I couldn't help doing it. It was like a novel that you can't stop reading until it ends. The only difference was that the man I never stopped loving wrote more than a hundred pages about how much he loved me.
---
A few days ago I broke up with Peyton. It wasn't something that I didn't see coming. The truth is I knew that was going to happen. She is happy in California and she really loves her job. I don't have any problem with that but I know right now I can't be a part of her life. Yes, I asked her to marry me and she said no. I know I did it without thinking. I just wanted someone by my side, I wanted what Nathan and Haley have. Peyton made me happy back in senior year, we were fine, she made me laugh and she was an incredible friend. But maybe she isn't the girl I want to marry with. I was in New York right after the break up, they're publishing my novel. Isn't it great? The best of that trip was seeing my pretty girl again. I know I shouldn't call her that because she's not mine anymore. But she spend the night with me celebrating that my dream was coming true. We had a blast and I screwed up kissing her. Yes, I taste her lips once again. And I swear to God I wouldn't like to kiss any others. I will always love Brooke Davis. She rejected me once again. She thought I was using her as a rebound but the truth is I wouldn't like to be with anyone else. It was hard coming back to Tree Hill knowing I wouldn't see her in a very long time. If only she hadn't stopped loving me.
----
Was I really reading that? Did he wrote Peyton wasn't the girl he wanted to marry? That seemed a bad joke for me. I really remembered that day when he kissed me, I remembered it very well. And I also remebered the day he came to my house asking for Peyton and I asked him if he still loved her. That wasn't fair.
----
Today it's a sad day. Brooke had to give up Angie. I will miss her so much. I will miss seeing her smile when the brunette plays with her and I will miss spending time with them. I will miss the fake family we were. I'm not lying if I tell I would've spent the rest of my life with them. Brooke and I have been there for each other, she's help me with all the Lindsey stuff and I've been there to help her with Angie. I'm so proud of her, she's become a great woman. She told me loves me. And I said it back. I know she said it in a friendly way but I can't help having doubts. What if she loves me for real? I'm going to take a trip for a few days, I want to leave and have a break. I need time. And I want her to go with me. I call her but I reach the voicemail. I try to call her again, out of range. So I call Peyton and I ask her the most stupid question of the world. The worst thing is that this time, she says yes. I have to get over Brooke Davis, she stopped loving me a very long time ago. I have to move on and Peyton is the easiest way. I know she will love me and she will make me happy. I will always be in love with Brooke Davis. If only she hadn't stopped loving me.
----
I'm crying, I'm crying out loud just like I did when Lucas broke up with me back in junior year. He called me before calling Peyton. Was he saying she was the rebound girl? That was the last chapter of the book, he moved on with Peyton but he was still in love with me. How was I supposed to react to that? Peyton was my best friend and I didn't want her to marry a guy that loved another woman. I called Julian and told him to meet me in the rivercourt. I couldn't stop crying and that went worse when I saw him. He hugged me for a few minutes.
"Brooke, what's wrong?" I couldn't say anything. "Is that for Missy? Brooke, I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to upset you... I still love you." he kissed my forehead.
"Yes, I'm upset with you but I'm crying for something worse." I picked the book and showed him.
"What the hell is that?" said Julian inspectioning the book. "Is that...?"
"Yes, it's a book about my relationship with Lucas."
"Why are you showing me this?" Julian seemed upset.
"I didn't kno whoelse to call... Do you think I should tell Peyton?"
"No, I don't think so. He made his choice, and chose Peyton. Do you love him?"
"I answered that question before."
"And you lied."
"I will always have a place in my heart for Lucas. But I don't want to be with him if that's what you wanted to hear."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am." I wasn't lying, Lucas loved me and I loved him but we couldn't be together without hurting everyone around us besides Peyton was pregnant.
"Are you going to talk to him about it?"
"No, things are better this way. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure"
"Will you go with me to the wedding?" I knew Julian was a good man and I wasn't ready to love him yet, but he could be someone I could love.
"Is that what you really want?" he asked.
"No, I really want you to take me away from here. Do you still want me and Sam to move to California with you? Would you be patient with me?"
"Yes, of course." Julian kissed me softly.
That was the way the things were supposed to happen. I made my choice a long time ago and I couldn't complain about anything. If only I haven't told him I stopped loving him.
