Author's Note: If you are looking for something lighthearted or lemony, this story is not for you, though I will recommend my other three stories, Dishonored (multi-chaptered), Iroh's Sage Advice (one-shot), and What Happens in the Crypt Stays in the Crypt (one-shot).
Artwork: Beautifully illustrated by the ever-so talented Kevin Kopsco
Warning: Very dark with minor incest
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender.
He approaches the petite-framed heap curled up on a dingy mattress. Her face is painted, not with a palette of makeup, but with writhing, tortured nightmares. He draws his dual swords and quietly creeps beside her. Just slit her throat and be done with it.
She opens her light brown eyes. Not because she hears him. No, he's silent. She can never sleep through the night anymore – not through all the nightmares. She turns her head to the side and meets his petrified gaze.
Something about her eyes is off. Not off in the way they were when she slipped into insanity. Her stare is much more unsettling. She is cognizant. She is stable. But there's no sparkle. It's as if her inner fire has been entirely snuffed out.
She sees her brother, she sees the dual swords, but she does not defend herself. "Are you going to kill me, Zuko?" Her tone is unnervingly stoic.
"I'm sorry that it had to come to this, Azula." He is sorry. He wanted so desperately to rehabilitate the dragon, not slay it. But she'll never change, they say. This is the only solution, they say.
"Well, make it quick." She does not waver. Instead, she shuts her eyes and turns her head to the opposite side, giving him better access to her pale neck.
His eyes widen in shock. "How – how could you say that?!" he hisses. Is she just toying with me?
She sighs without stirring. "The end result is the same, but this is far more fitting, wouldn't you agree?"
"You're not making any sense."
"No, I suppose not." She turns back to face him. "It's all part of the plan." She's expressionless. Emotionless. Empty.
He's hesitant to ask. His voice quivers. "Wh – what plan?"
She sits up as if being forced by a puppeteer. This shell of a young woman is hollow, hardly recognizable. The moonlight reflecting beautifully off her long silky hair seems inappropriate. She points to a crooked desk with one drawer in the corner of the colorless room.
He sheaths his swords. His feet compel him to move to the desk before his brain can object. Inside the drawer lies a dusty scroll. His hands shake as they unwind it. The words are scribed in Azula's perfect penmanship.
Step 1: Return to Fire Nation
Step 2: Recruit followers
Step 3: Use Kermurikage legend to expose New Ozai Society members
Step 4: Zuko discovers New Ozai Society leader responsible for kidnapped children
Step 5: Zuko solves Kemurikage mystery and brings New Ozai Society to justice
Step 6: Zuko becomes a celebrated hero
Step 7: Fire Nation citizens regain faith in their new Fire Lord
Step 8: Azula disappears forever…
His eyes become vessels of fear. She's doing all of this for me? She's doing all of this for me! His jaw begins to quake. He drops the scroll on the desk. He sits on the bed directly in front of her but cannot bring himself to look at her. "What do you mean by 'Azula disappears forever'?" He asks although he already knows the answer. His voice is barely audible.
"It means… it means that you won't have to worry about me messing up your life anymore." She's perturbingly calm.
He squeezes his eyes shut, allowing a single tear to drip down his scarred cheek. Her haunting voice resounds within his head. The end result is the same. His teeth begin to chatter. "What, so that's it? You… you're going to… you're going to k – " He can't bring himself to say it out loud. Instead, he buries his head in his hands.
"I don't understand why you're getting so upset, brother." Her tone is neither harsh nor concerned. It's robotic, almost monotone. "You came here to end my life, did you not? You weren't going to allow me any parting words, no explanation of my actions." She should be angry. She should be hurt. But she's not.
He removes his face from his hands. She's blurry through all the tears. "That was before I knew the truth!" He's screaming at her. His hands are balled up in fists.
She doesn't flinch. She just looks down at her lap. "You know, Zuko… there are only so many times a person can look at you and see a monster before you start to see it too."
He grabs one of her frail hands in his. It's freezing, as if she's been lifeless for days. Perhaps she had been. It chills him to the bone. He lifts her chin to meet his pressing stare. "Azula, you are not a monster." He can see in her eyes that she's not even there. She is well within the blackest depths of desolation.
She shakes her head. "Oh, but I am. Everyone else can see it. Did anyone even try to stop you when you told them about your plan to take my life?"
He is lost for breath. He chokes. "Aang… he… he offered to take your bending away."
"I see." She falls further into the abyss.
"But they don't see what I see!" He squeezes her hand so hard it hurts. I need her to feel something. Anything!
"I know." She pauses. "For whatever reason, when you look at me, like the way you are right now, you don't see a monster. It's why you gave me a chance to redeem myself. And it's also the reason why I would do anything for you." She brings her free hand to his cheek to wipe away his tears. She whispers, "It's why I'm giving up my life for you." The faintest smile plays across her face.
"I DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE!" He's shouting, stammering, sobbing.
"Why are you here, Zuko?"
WHY IS SHE SO COMPOSED? WHY CAN'T SHE FEEL ANYTHING? Is she already too far gone? He can't answer her. He doesn't know anything anymore.
"You came here with a purpose. Dying at your hand would be far more honorable than the alternative. Plus, you'll be an even greater hero than I had foreseen. Everyone would finally be able to stop living in fear of me."
She's encouraging me! He can't listen to this. "STOP! Just stop… please." His voice is more feeble than pleading.
She doesn't stop. "Just think about it for one second! Without me, you can finally have the perfect family you've always deserved. With Mother. Noren. You even have a new sister who's considerably less cruel to you. I want this for you more than anything. I want you to be happy." Now both of her hands are cupping his face, wiping away tears left and right. She smiles a ghastly, broken smile. Her face is so close to his – so close, he can taste her as she breathes.
He inhales sharply and holds his breath. He exhales slowly. "How can I have the perfect family if you're not in it? How could I ever be happy without you?" His golden eyes sear into the fragments of her soul. He reaches for her hand, interweaving his fingers with hers. "We could be happy together."
Her bottom lip begins to tremble. "Zuko…" She pulls away from him, looks away from him. "I… I just can't, okay?" She folds her arms, closing herself off.
He hates to see her like this, but for the first time, he's hopeful. He's reaching her. Reaching to her, offering a hand, grasping, clutching, dragging her into the light. "You can't what, Azula?"
"I… I CAN'T BE HERE ANYMORE!" She erupts in uncontrollable tears. "I DON'T BELONG!" She hugs her knees to her chest. "You said it yourself – EVERYONE wants me gone. No one wants me. Do you have any idea what that's like? To be unwanted, undesirable, unlovable?" Her shallow breaths begin to rob her words. "It – it's – it's too painful."
He places an arm around her slender shoulder, pulling himself closer to her, pulling her out of the void. Nothing could possibly resonate better than her cacophony of raw, unadulterated emotion, even if it's being sung in a minor key. I can save her. "But that's not true." He soothes. "I want you. I need you."
She forcefully shakes her head. "I'm sorry, brother. I just can't." She howls. "I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I - "
He cuts her off by taking her delicate face into his hands and pressing his lips to hers, creating the lightest, softest wisp of a kiss. So elusive and fleeting that perhaps it didn't even happen at all.
Her eyes widen, flooded with unfiltered sentiment. Her head is inundated with words, thoughts, questions, feelings, but none escape her mouth. Everything has changed, yet nothing needs to be said. What could possibly be said?
What follows is much more natural, untainted, organic. Erasing all doubt, he kisses her again, lips slightly parted, not the way a brother should ever kiss his sister. But it feels right. No, more than right – necessary, even destined. Orchestrated by the Spirits themselves.
His breath fills her lungs with newfound vitality. Purpose. Desire. And when she finally opens her eyes, they flicker with a hotter, more passionate fire than ever before.
He is determined to stoke those flames, to make sure they're never dampened again. "I love you, Azula." He strokes her tear-stained cheek with his thumb; she melts into his hand.
"I – I love you too." Oh, how she loves him. How she burns for him. His laugh, his touch, his scowl, his scar. Her light, her truth, her strength, her sun.
"Is it enough?" His fingers bring heated color to her face. "Is my love enough for you to… stay?" Please, Spirits, let it be enough. It has to be enough.
She nods. Her smile illuminates the room, vastly outshining the moonlight. She runs her hand along the mattress. "Zuzu, will you stay?"
Yes. I am your Zuzu. I am yours. "Of course. Azula… I promise you will never have to be alone again." He slides under the thin, tattered sheets next to her.
She rests her head upon his chest and drapes her arm across his waist, snuggling him, burying herself in him, breathing him.
He wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in so close, removing any space between them. He kisses the top of her head. The lavender scent of her hair lulls him to sleep.
She drifts into a deep slumber, swayed by the steady drum of his heart that beats only for her. The once-unrelenting nightmares fade to dust.
Together they lay entwined, encapsulated, enveloped in the warmest love either of them had ever known.
Author's Note: This was inspired by the Azula suicide rumors for Smoke and Shadow: Part 3. Now that the graphic novel has finally been released, I'm so glad to see Azula so happy and free for once! Anyway, please let me know what you think! But keep in mind that this was my first attempt at writing something non-comedic.
