Authors note:

This is the sequel to my fanfiction "Dreams Don't Always Come True". This is going to be every person's reaction as/ after they read Rachel's suicide note. If you haven't read the original fanfiction, then please go read that before this, since this won't make sense without having read the first one.

I still have to write a chapter for Tina, Mike, Artie, Mercedes, Kurt, Matt, Puck, Finn, Mr. Schuester, and her Dads. I'm working on them right now.

Also, I'm going to wait until I get a review to see if I should continue this, before I upload the chapter I have already written about Santana and Brittany. Please review so I know what I'm doing wrong. I haven't gotten a lot of feedback yet. Thank you (:


Quinn's Reaction:

I didn't realize that as I read her suicide note, my eyes brimmed with tears, and by the time I was finished, my tears had already ran down the sides of my cheek. When I finished the letter, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to feel.

I can't believe she actually did it. I can't believe the Rachel Berry actually committed suicide. The only reason I made fun of her was because I was jealous. I mean, why should she be the one to have Finn? Why should she be the one to be so confident that she's going to make it out of Lima? I know I'm mean. So why is Rachel so forgiving? She said she knows I have a big heart. She says I'm a nice person. Why would a nice person bring someone to kill themselves? I keep telling myself that I never meant to hurt her. I really didn't.

I miss her so much I basically want to die: it's like a hard, physical longing, like a craving for air when I'm drowning under the water. When I'm looking up from under the water and I can see the streaks of blue, the reflections of the sunlight on the top of the water, but I don't want to go up yet. I need air, but if I stay under a little longer to relish in the beauty before my eyes, I can just barely make it up in time. It's like that. I need her because she was the strongest person I knew. She could get through anything. At least I thought she was the strongest. But every human has a point where they crack. I think I broke her.

I'm sitting here on the side of my bed, with my legs hanging off, and I'm trying so hard to recall all my best memories of her—to freeze her in my mind so I won't ever forget her—but instead of happy times, I keep remembering things, like the day she killed herself, I stopped her in the hallway in front of all my cheerleader friends and I told her bitterly "Hey manhands, have you heard from your mom yet? Oh wait, she adopted my baby, and doesn't even want you anymore". I didn't even need to say that. It was completely unnecessary, and unbelievably rude. I can't believe I wasted my last words she'd ever hear from me on a stupid snarky comment which probably made her want to die even more than she already did. I should have seen the look on her face. If I wasn't such an awful person, instead of turning to my friends who were all snickering, I should have looked into her eyes. I could have seen her pain. I might have been able to stop her. I'm only fooling myself. I'm one of the people she was afraid of. I wouldn't have been able to change her mind. She already made up her mind about me a long time ago: I'm a bitch. But she also said I could be nice. She's the nice one, for ever believing I could be anything more than a heartless bitch.

I'm still sitting on the side of my bed with my legs hanging off, except this time, my toes are digging into my carpet. Hard. I'm trying to think of Rachel, and the only other memory I can recall is when she came up to me and tried to get me to come back to glee club, although I had been making her life a living hell for about a year. I had just told her "I would have tortured you if the roles were reversed," And she replied: "I know." For some reason, that's one of my clearest memories I had of her: her lips that quirked into the smallest smile I have ever seen. Maybe it was out of pity, maybe not, and before that, how she reached out to me, despite our past relationship where I treated her awfully.

Rachel was such a great person. I wish I could have realized what I was doing to her on the inside. But she's just too good of an actress. She hid the fact that I hurt her. Or maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention. Either way, she's gone, and there's nothing I can do but hope to God that someday, I will be forgiven.