"Home Alone: SHIELD"
They'd begun surveillance on the McCallister family the previous Christmas, after the Wet Bandits were foiled by the youngest son; at least that's what they'd been able to piece together based on the evidence, and Marv Merchants' delirious ramblings from the infection on his foot.
It was a year later; the Wet Bandits broke out and became the Sticky Bandits, and Fury turned his eye on Kevin McCallister after it appeared that the same thing had happened for a second time; so he sent his best agents to the Plaza Hotel as recruitment officers.
"Mr. and Mrs. McCallister, I'm Agent Phil Coulson, this is Agent Maria Hill, and I'd like to speak to your youngest son about joining the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division."
A whimsical little idea I once had, although for a much longer story. I think I even posted it as a prompt on the Kink Meme, but no one filled it. Sigh. Anyway. I love the thought of Maria basically scolding the McCallisters for their treatment of Kevin – heck, send in Natasha instead of Maria – and going all Mama Bear on them. I personally hate how he's treated, and how the father is the only one in the entire family who's decent at all. Even the mother leaves a lot to be desired, despite the fact that she's always the one who reunites with Kevin at the end of the film.
…Rant over.
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