Vacation Blues

Chapter One

Johnny Gage caught up with Roy DeSoto at the boarding gate at LAX. He dropped his backpack on the floor and tried to catch his breath.

"Didn't think I was gonna make it. Are you sure about this?" Roy nodded, his eyes on the ticket agent ahead.

"Yeah, I'm sure. It would just go to waste. The tickets are non-refundable."

"I know, but geez...this was supposed to be your second honeymoon. I coulda stayed with the kids." Roy shook his head. "Two kids covered in chicken pox? They'd of driven you crazy."

"Probably. But shouldn't you stay home, help Joanne?"

"I wanted to, but her mother's coming. I'd help more by being out of the way for a few days."

"Yeah, I guess..." Roy's hostile relationship with Joanne's mother was no secret. Another reason Johnny was glad to be single. No in-laws.

The line inched forward until they were able to board the plane. Johnny stowed his backpack, settled in, and grinned at Roy. "Still and all...I wanna thank ya for inviting me. Never been to Hawaii." Roy opened a magazine and smiled. "No problem, Junior."

Chapter Two

An hour into the flight, Johnny was fast asleep. The overhead speaker crackled.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have two very special passengers aboard today. We would like to congratulate Mr. And Mrs. Roy DeSoto on the occasion of their tenth anniversary." Roy cringed, blushed beet red and slid down in his seat as necks craned, looking for the happy couple. A stewardess appeared at his elbow, carrying a tray with two glasses of champagne.

"Mr. and Mrs. DeSoto, on behalf of the flight crew..." She eyed Johnny, her expression changed. "We'd uh...we'd uh..."

"No, you don't understand. The thing is..."

"...like to...congratulate you and uh...wish you many more happy...uh...years." She handed Roy the champagne and scurried away.

The twittering and snickering in the nearby seats woke Johnny. He yawned, looked around, and eyed Roy.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing." He handed Johnny a glass of champagne. "Here."

"What's this for?" A gloved hand tapped Johnny on his shoulder. He turned to see an elderly woman beaming at him.

"Happy Anniversary, dear."

"Huh?" The woman smiled at Roy. "He's just adorable. Is he the wife? Or are you?"

Johnny's jaw dropped. "Wait a minute. You didn't - they don't - oh, man..." He downed the champagne, tossed the empty glass at Roy, and stood up. "Wait here." He shoved past Roy and headed up the aisle.

The woman continued to beam at Roy. "My nephew is one, too. But he hides it, you know." Roy nodded. "Yes, ma'am." He looked up the aisle in time to see Johnny disappear into the galley.

"How did you two meet?"

"Work. We met at work."

"Oh, an office romance. That's so sweet. You must love each other very much."

"Yes, ma'am - I mean no, ma'am." The woman patted his shoulder. "You take good care of each other, you hear?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm gonna take care of him, all right."

Chapter Three

Six hours later, Roy and Johnny walked into their hotel room. The bellhop opened the curtai

"Will there be anything else?"

"No, thanks." Roy tipped the bellhop and saw him to the door. Johnny looked around the room.

"There's only one bed."

"It's the honeymoon suite."

"Oh, no...no way, man."

"Look, I thought I'd be here with Joanne. Why would I book a room with two beds?"

"Hey, I'm not staying with you in a honeymoon suite. No way." Roy sighed and dropped onto the bed.

"Fine, go see if they have another room."

"I will!" Johnny grabbed his backpack and slammed the door.

Roy fell back onto the bed. He stared at the ceiling. That's what he got for inviting his best friend. No company, no gratitude, no understanding.

No Joanne.

He picked up the phone and dialed home. When he heard the voice on the other end, he rolled his eyes.

"Hello, Mom. I just called to - yes, I know she's busy. No, I'm sure you two can handle things. Yes, it was a stupid idea to come on the trip. No, I didn't mean to - look, would you tell Joanne I called and I love her? Okay, would you just tell her I called? Yes, I know she's busy. Yes, yes. Bye."

Roy lay back down. The sound of the waves through the window was calming. He started to relax and doze.

There was a knock on the door. He opened it to find Johnny, even grouchier than when he'd left.

"They're full up."

"Oh."

"Can I come in?"

"It's your room, too." Roy stood aside as Johnny reentered the honeymoon suite. He eyed the bed.

"That's a...huge bed."

"Yeah. It's bigger than both our beds in the dorm, plus the space between them." Johnny tentatively felt the mattress.

"Feels comfortable."

"Yeah. You know, if we piled pillows down the center, we could divide it into two sides." Johnny eyed him.

"Why'd you wanna do that?"

"I just thought - "

"You think I'm gonna make a play for you in the middle of the night?"

"Don't be an ass. I just thought - "

" Well, don't. You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Chapter Four

Roy spit his toothpaste into the sink, looked into the mirror, and sighed. The evening had not gone well.

They'd eaten dinner in one of the hotel restaurants. Roy had booked a table weeks ago, and they were too tired to find another place to eat. The setting was romantic, which made Joanne's absence all the more pronounced. She would have looked so beautiful, sitting across from Roy, in that dress he'd purchased for her, the soft light on her face, the love in her eyes...instead, what he'd gotten was the back of Johnny's head as he ogled every woman in the place and flirted shamelessly with their waitress. And his table manners. They weren't the best under normal circumstances, but this was a five star restaurant, and he was shoveling food into his mouth like...like...he always did.

But the highlight of the evening was when they were presented with an anniversary cake, compliments of the hotel. The cake was lovely, the applause polite. And if looks from Johnny could kill, he'd be dead right now.

Johnny'd spent the next hour telling Roy how he'd ALMOST snagged a date with the waitress, but thanks to Roy, it was never going to happen. How he'd never live this down. How he'd kill Roy if word of this got back to L.A. How his reputation might not matter to Roy, but it did to him. What a lousy time he was having. And on and on.

"Joanne...I miss you. I even miss your mom..."

Roy turned off the light and left the bathroom. Maybe after a good night's sleep, things wouldn't be so bad. He yawned, stretched and looked at the bed.

Johnny was on his stomach, spread eagled across the middle of the bed.

"Junior...shove over. Get on your side."

No reaction, except a slight twitching of his face. Roy leaned down and shook his shoulder.

"John, come on, move!"

"All right, all right, I'm moving, geez." Johnny moved about three inches to his right. Roy shook him again.

"Come on, all the way! I'm tired!" but Johnny was asleep again.

Roy sighed, grabbed a pillow, and curled up on the sofa.

"I miss you, Joanne. God, I miss you..."

Chapter Five

"You're gonna WHAT?"

"Gonna go out on a catamaran. All day. They take you between islands, you can snorkel, they serve lunch, stuff like that!"

Johnny grinned at Roy, rubbing his hands together with glee.

"it's gonna be incredible! So, what're you gonna do?"

"I dunno. Lie on the beach, maybe."

"Great!"

"Johnny...you ever been on a catamaran?"

"No. But that's why I came. To do new stuff. Why?"

"It's just...they're not the smoothest water crafts around."

"Yeah, so?"

"It's just...you could get sick. You know how you are on boats." Johnny shook his head.

"I'm not gonna get SICK. I'm gonna have FUN. And I gotta go. See ya later." Johnny gulped down his coffee, grinned at Roy, and took off.

Roy stared at Johnny's empty breakfast plate. Twenty minutes earlier, it had been overloaded with food from the buffet. He shook his head. The waiter brought him the check.

"How are you enjoying your stay with us, Mr. DeSoto? Everything satisfactory?"

"Yeah, it's fine." Roy signed the check and handed it back to the waiter.

"Listen, is there someplace around here that sells Pepto Bismol?" The waiter smiled sympathetically. "The sundries store in the lobby. Vacation stomach?"

"Not yet, no..."

Chapter Six

Roy spent the morning walking on the beach. Joanne would have loved it...the sand, the water...he spotted a few whales off the coast. In the afternoon he drove to the high country, shrouded in fog. Through the mist, he could see the curve of the island as it curled around the glittering water. Out there, somewhere, was Johnny. Maybe he'd be okay. The waters were calmer than back home. He pictured him, lazing on the catamaran, enjoying the sun, the snorkeling, the girls. One thing was for sure. He wouldn't be lonely, not with a group of like-minded people.

Roy returned to the hotel at dinnertime. Another day of aloneness, another day without Joanne. He should have stayed home, endured Joanne's mother's looks, her comments about his "little job," her...nah, alone in paradise was better.

Roy opened the door to the room. So far, so good. No Johnny, curled up on the bed. The bathroom door was closed. He listened. No heaving. Maybe everything was going to be -

"Hi." The door opened and Johnny emerged, holding an ice-filled towel to his eye.

"Hi."

"Have a good day?"

"Yeah, it was fine. You okay?" Johnny winced and shifted the towel.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"What happened to your eye?" Johnny shrugged.

"Nothing. A little accident."

"Can I see?" Johnny sighed and dropped his hand.

"That's...quite a shiner, Junior."

"Yeah, yeah."

"How'd it happen?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay."

""Look, it's not what you think."

"I don't think anything. You don't want to talk about it, okay."

"But you want to know, right?"

"No, I don't."

"Okay, I'll tell you. I was diving off the catamaran, and I hit my head, that's all."

"Oh." Johnny's eyebrows furrowed.

"You don't believe me."

"Junior, I do believe you. All right? I believe you." Johnny shook his head.

"You think some chick's boyfriend did this. Well, that's not what happened." Roy grinned.

"Okay. I did think that." Johnny heaved a sigh and dropped onto the bed.

"I knew it. I knew you'd think that."

"So, you hit your head on the catamaran. Geez, that's rough. I'm sorry, John." Johnny shook his head. It wasn't that, so much. It was when I passed out."

"You...passed out?"

"Yeah. A catamaran full of incredible chicks, I hit my head and pass out. They all dove in to save me."

"John...you need to see a doctor. You passed out."

"Nah. One of the chicks WAS a doctor. Already been to the hospital and back. I'm fine." Johnny grinned. "And we, uh, got a dinner date. Tonight."

"Oh. Okay."

"What?" Roy shrugged.

"I was hoping...I had made reservations for a luau a couple of months ago, and I thought..."

"Oh, no. I'm not gonna be Mrs. Roy DeSoto again. You go by yourself."

"Fine, I will! I'm not gonna sit around here all evening."

"Roy, speaking of being here all evening...do ya think you could split, maybe?"

"Split?"

"Yeah, scram, get lost, give me some privacy. I think I'm gonna get lucky tonight, and I - "

"Oh, I get it. You want me to sleep in the lobby."

"I sure would appreciate it. I'd do the same for you."

"No. No way. You wanna get lucky, go spend the night in HER room." Johnny glared at Roy.

"I can't, man. She's here with a girlfriend."

"Well, YOU'RE here with - "

"Don't say it. Don't - say it."

Chapter Seven

Roy and Johnny parted company for the evening not speaking to each other. Roy was fuming. Johnny was in Hawaii for free, and he wanted Roy to leave the room HE had paid for. How selfish could a person be? He was no longer in the mood for a luau, especially since Joanne wasn't there to enjoy it with him. So he had a quiet dinner and took another solitary walk on the beach. Romantic moonlight, waves lapping the shore. It just wasn't fair. He returned to the hotel, called Housekeeping and requested half a dozen pillows, which he used to build a barrier down the middle of the bed. He was not going to have a repeat of the previous night. He'd paid for the bed, he was going to damn well sleep in it.

Roy settled down in bed and watched some TV. Johnny was off with a beautiful woman, having the time of his life...it just wasn't fair. It should be Roy and Joanne, having the time of their -

The key turned in the lock. The door slowly opened and Johnny entered the room, his hand over his mouth.

"Johnny? What happened? I didn't expect you for hours."

"Nothing. Nothing happened. Any ice left in here?"

"Ice? What happened?" Johnny sighed. Roy got out of bed and padded over to him.

"Come on, let me see." He gently pulled Johnny's hand from his mouth.

"that's quite a fat lip you got there."

"Yeah." Johnny winced. "Any ice in here?"

"I'll call Room Service." Roy placed the call. Johnny stretched out on the bed.

"So, you wanna talk about it? Or is it none of my business?"

"No, no, it's no big deal." Johnny winced. "I took her out to dinner. She was incredible, just incredible. We walked on the beach, had some laughs, she invited me up to her room..."

"Uh huh. You get fresh with her?"

"No! I did not!"

"So, how'd you get the fat lip?"

"I, uh...slipped and fell in the bathroom. There was water on the floor. Hit my mouth on the side of the bathtub. Ow..."

"Oh..." Roy turned his back to hide the grin that took over his face. But he couldn't hide the shaking of his shoulders as he began to laugh.

"Hey! This isn't funny! Look at me! A black eye and a split lip. And it's all your fault."

"MY fault?"

"Yeah. If you hadn't invited me on this trip, none of this would have happened."

"Now, wait just a minute -

"There was a knock on the door. Roy threw Johnny a withering look as he went to answer it. Outside was a young woman bearing an ice bucket.

"Here's your ice, Mr. DeSoto. Will there be anything else?"

"No, this is fine." He tipped the young woman. "Thank you."

"Have a lovely evening."

"Roy filled a washcloth with ice and brought it to Johnny. "Here."

"Thanks. I'm sorry. But you shouldn't laugh. This really hurts."

"I know. I'm sorry, too. Junior..."

"Huh?"

"You know that needs stitches."

"Oh, no. I've already seen the ER. I'm not going back."

"Come on, get up."

"Roy - "

"Come on..."

Johnny sat up and glared at Roy.

"If you tell anyone about this I swear I'll - "

"Let's go."

Chapter Eight

"Okay, Mr. Gage, all done."

Four hours later, the doctor snipped off the ends of the last stitch.

"Did you know that the bathroom is considered the most dangerous room in the house?" Johnny nodded impatiently.

"So, I can go in the water with this, right?"

"I wouldn't recommend it. But people do all the time. I'm going to give you some antibiotic salve. Make sure you have a thick layer of this on before entering the water. And no snorkeling. The stitches will rip out." He handed Johnny a tube. "Enjoy the rest of your stay."

"I intend to." Johnny hopped off the table and headed for the exit, Roy in tow.

"'Enjoy your stay, enjoy your stay - ' Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"I dunno. What are they supposed to say? 'Don't smack your face any more?'"

"Don't make fun of me. I'm not in the mood."

"How about we just go get some sleep? It's almost 2am." Johnny nodded. "Yeah, sleep. That's why I came here. For the sleep."

"Some on, Junior. You'll feel better in the morning." Roy opened the passenger door for Johnny, got in the car, and started the engine.

"We could get Room Service in the morning. Give you more time to relax."

"Oh, no. I want the buffet. Don't want want ANYONE seeing me in YOUR bed."

"Okay, okay. Let's just get some sleep."

The next morning, Roy and Johnny sat morosely over their breakfast.

"Take this. It stings." Johnny handed Roy his orange juice."

"Sorry. You want me to get you something else?"

"I can do it, I can do it. I'm not a cripple." Johnny wandered went back to the buffet. Roy sighed. Joanne would have loved this restaurant. There was a pool with swans just outside. Swans. She would have been so happy here. Instead, he was stuck with Mr. -

"Boogie boarding!" Roy jumped. Johnny had smacked him on the back before dropping back into his chair.

"What?"

"Boogie boarding!" It'll keep my face out of the water! I mean, it's not as good as snorkeling, but it's something."

"You know, yesterday I drove up to the high country. It was beautiful. Maybe we could - "

"What? No, I'm going boogie boarding. You drive around in the high country. I'm going back in the water. Things are going to take a turn for the better today."

"But - "

"Today!" Roy knew that look on Johnny's face. There was no use arguing.

"Okay, okay. But I'm coming with you."

"Fine. Just keep your distance."

"Keep my distance?"

"Yeah, I might meet someone. I don't want you getting in the way, is all."

"Junior - have you looked at your face? What kind of girl would - "

"Look - just keep your distance, is all."

Chapter Eight

"What happened to your face?"

"Nothing. Look, just gimme two boogie boards, would ya?" Johnny glared at the young man at the equipment counter outside the hotel. The young man shrugged and pulled two boards.

"Sure, sure...but that water'll hurt like hell when it hits your lip, man."

"Not gonna have my face in the water. Gonna be on top of the board."

"Okay, man. I'm just warning you."

"I know what I'm doing." Johnny grabbed the boogie boards, thrust one at Roy, and walked away. Roy looked helplessly at the young man.

"Sorry."

"If he stays away from big waves he might be okay. You really should stay with him."

"Thanks."

"Hang loose."

"I'm trying." Roy signed for the boogie boards and took off after Johnny, who was already heading into the water.

Chapter Nine

"Ow."

Johnny winced as water lapped onto the boogie board and washed over his lip.

"The salve isn't helping?"

"Didn't use any."

"But the doctor said - "

"I know what the doctor said. It looks stupid, is all. I'm not hanging out on the beach with a greasy lip."

"But - "

"Look, lay off, would ya?"

"Fine, have it your way. Hope it hurts like hell."

"What?"

"Nothing. Hope you feel well."

Roy kicked his board away from Johnny and tried to relax, floating peacefully in the water. He pictured Joanne, on her own boogie board, floating next to him, holding his hand. Just Joanne and him, and the lazy slap of the water against the - "

"OH, MY GOD! OW, OW, OW!"

Roy jerked his head up in time to see Johnny flip his board and disappear under the water. Frantically, Roy swam to the spot where Johnny had disappeared, dove under the water, and hauled him to the surface. He was clutching his leg with one hand and trying to shove Roy away with the other.

"Junior, calm down! I got you! Stop fighting me!" Roy rolled Johnny on his back and got him up on the beach. He dragged Johnny away from the water. Johnny clutched his leg and howled in pain.

"OW, OW, OW!"

"Whatsa matter? What is it? Leg cramp? Let me - "

No, no, something bit me! Damn it!"

"Bit you?"

"Yeah, on my leg! Stings like hell!" Johnny looked up at Roy. "DO SOMETHING!"

"I, uh - "

"Probably a jelly." A young woman in a bikini had knelt beside Roy.

"A jelly?"

"Yeah, a jelly fish. Happens all the time. Let me see...move your hands, dude. Let go of your leg." She pried Johnny's hands off and bent over his leg.

"Yeah, you got stung. You know what to do?" Johnny shook his head as tears streamed down his face.

"No. Ouch, it stings..."

"Wait a minute, let me get my bag." The young woman disappeared. Johnny lay on the sand, gritting his teeth and gasping.

"Johnny, I'm gonna take you to the hospital." Johnny shook his head vehemently. "Like hell you will. Just fix it, would ya?"

"But I don't - "

"Okay, let's see..." The young woman was back. She looked at Johnny's leg again. "You've got a bunch of stingers in your leg. I'm gonna try and get 'em out. Hold still." She pulled out a can of shaving foam and shook it. Johnny stared at her.

"Hey, what're you DOING?"

"Hold still, this how you get stingers out." She covered the area with shaving foam, tossed the can into her bag, and pulled out a razor. "Hold still." Carefully, she scraped the stingers out of Johnny's skin.

"Better?"

"Yeah, I - "

"Good. Almost done." She tossed the razor in her bag and pulled out a container of meat tenderizer. Johnny watched her suspiciously. She sprinkled meat tenderizer on the shaved area. "This'll suck the venom out."

"Ya know, that does feel better."

"Good. Well, take care..." She started to stand up, but Johnny grabbed her hand. "I wanna thank ya."

"No need. Glad I could help."

"My name's Johnny. Johnny Gage."

"Nice to meet you. Well, I gotta go - "

"No, wait." Johnny hoisted himself up on his elbows and grinned at her. He winced as his lip pulled on the stitches. "I'd like to buy you lunch or something."

"No really, it's all right."

"Aw, come on. I'm a nice guy. I'm a paramedic with the Los Angeles County Fire Department." She pulled her hand away. "Look, I'm not interested, okay?" She stood up and walked away. Roy sat down in the sand, rested his chin on his knees, and looked sadly at Johnny - black eye, stitched lip, tenderized leg. Johnny shook his head.

"What was HER problem?"

"I dunno. Maybe she's a vegetarian."

Chapter Ten

"look, you're gonna like it here. Give it a chance."

Roy parked the car and looked over at Johnny, who sat hunched down in his seat. "Come on."

"I wanted to go horseback riding."

"Not with the luck you're having."

"But...a botanical garden? What do I care about a botanical garden? You're the one who thinks plants are fascinating, not me."

"Junior, give it a try."

Johnny got out of the car and looked around. "It's Mrs. Johnson all over again. Ya know, I always found her a bit suspicious, gettin' you to take care of her plants and all." Roy rolled his eyes.

"I wish you'd let that go, already. She was just a nice lady."

Johnny followed Roy up a pathway to the entryway of the garden. "Hey, I didn't say she wasn't nice. I just said she was suspicious. You don't have to be so sensitive about it. I'm just saying - "

"Junior, look." Roy pointed ahead. Johnny's jaw dropped.

"Oh man, what are those?"

"Plants. Tropical plants.

"Would you look at the size of those things! This is incredible. Hey, are those parrots?" Johnny took off down the path. Roy smiled, shook his head and followed.

For the next two hours, Roy and Johnny wandered around the winding pathways of the garden. For the first time since they'd arrived, they both enjoyed themselves. And Johnny shut up, except for the occasional "This is incredible," or "Man, would you look at that?"

At the end of the garden was a tiny gift shop. Roy climbed the three steps into the shop, hoping to find something for Joanne. The first thing he laid eyes on was a plumeria. Joanne would love it.

"Excuse me...can this be shipped to California?"

"Aloha. Sure, I ship to California all the time." A smiling woman came over to Roy and stood with him, admiring the plants.

"Great. I'd like one - no, two - for my wife." She nodded. Would you like to enclose a card?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure, thanks." She handed Roy a pen and a card. Roy thought for a moment, then wrote on the card:

To The Love Of My Life

Paradise is wherever you are.

All my love, Roy

He handed the card back to the woman. She rang up the bill.

"Okay, including postage, that'll be -

"OH, SHIT!" Johnny poked his face though the door. "Help." Roy shook his head. Not again.

"What happened?"

"The step broke. My foot is caught."

"You're kidding." Johnny glared at Roy. "Would ya help me? I'm stuck!"

Chapter Eleven

"Back off, would ya? I can do it."

"Fine, go ahead." Roy stepped aside as Johnny pushed the door to their room open, hobbled through on his crutches, and sat on the bed.

"You want some pillows under your ankle? It needs to be elevated."

"I know that!" Roy placed two pillows under Johnny's ankle, stood back, and regarded him with a mixture of compassion and bemusement.

"At least it's only a sprain. And it's not the leg where you got stung."

"Yeah, aren't I the lucky one." Johnny fell back on the bed and sighed. I was gonna do so many things...hang gliding, hiking, horseback riding, surfing, scuba diving...now look at me. And we only have one day left.

"Yeah, I know. I'm real sorry, Junior. Look, how about we order Room Service?"

"Sure, why not?" Johnny shrugged. Then we'll watch some TV. Always been a dream of mine...hang out in a hotel room, watch TV. Turn in early." He closed his eyes. "You don't have to stay here. You go on out and have some fun."

"Nah, I'll stay." Roy opened the Room Service menu. "Hey, John. They got steak."

"Oh, yeah? Lemme see." Roy tossed the menu to Johnny. It bounced off his hands and hit him on his black eye.

"Ow..."

"Sorry."

Chapter Twelve

"Look, you can't serve yourself and use crutches at the same time. Let me help you."

"Okay, okay."

Johnny and Roy rose from their table and headed toward the breakfast buffet. The room was packed. A small child darted past Johnny, knocking a crutch out from under him. Roy caught him before he plummeted into the egg platter.

"Look, why don't you sit down? Let me serve you."

"No, I can do it, come on." Another guest banged into Johnny, and he fell to the floor. He looked up at Roy. "Could ya help me back to the table, please?"

An hour later Johnny looked around the dining room. "It's clearing out. Let's go." He grabbed his crutches and hauled himself to his feet. "Look, why don't you take off? I'm just gonna hang around the hotel."

"No, it's all right. I'll stay with you."

"I don't want you to stay with me. Come on, Roy. It's been a lousy three days. For both of us. Just...just go do something fun. Then you can tell me about it tonight."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Go on."

"Okay. I'll see you later, then."

"Yeah, yeah." Johnny started to crutch away.

"Junior..."

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

"Yeah, yeah." Roy watched Johnny get on the elevator, push a button with his crutch, and smile bleakly as the door closed.

Early that evening, Roy returned to the hotel. It had been a glorious day. He'd gone whale watching, marveling as a pod of whales came close enough to touch. In the afternoon, in honor of Johnny, he'd gone hang gliding. Didn't plan to tell him, though. Poor guy was depressed enough.

Roy opened the door to the room. No sign of Johnny. That was good. He'd found something to do. Or maybe it was bad. Maybe he'd fallen again. Nah, he'd be okay.

The key sounded in the lock. The door opened a couple of inches.

"Roy?"

"Yeah." Roy opened the door and stared open mouthed, as Johnny inched his way painfully into the room. He grinned sheepishly at Roy.

"I fell asleep by the pool."

"Oh, my God..."

"I'm okay." Johnny crept into the room. He was dressed in his swimming trunks. His back and legs were bright red, with blisters starting to form.

"I, uh...forgot I'd taken a painkiller for my ankle. Had a couple of drinks. I forgot. Ow..." He stood there, a puppy dog look in his eyes. "I can't sit down."

"Johnny, we need to go to the - "

"ER. I knew you were going to say that." Johnny sighed and began creeping back toward the door. As they rode the elevator down to the lobby, Johnny looked at Roy.

"I just wanna go home."

"I know." Roy patted Johnny on his back.

"Don't - touch me."

Chapter Thirteen

Roy opened the door to his house. Joanne's mother was waiting for him.

"Well, you're back."

"Yes, Mom, I'm back." he dropped his suitcase on the floor. "How are the kids?"

"Fine, fine. We managed just fine without you." She peeked into the kitchen, then hissed in Roy's ear, "You got a lot of nerve, extending your stay in Hawaii while Joanne took care of the kids."

"Grandma?" Jenny's voice floated down the stairs.

"Coming, darling. Grandma's coming." She threw Roy one more angry look and headed upstairs. The kitchen door opened and Joanne emerged.

"Roy!" He hugged her. Hard. She smiled up at him. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me, too. You have no idea. Hang on a second..." Roy opened the front door and held it as Johnny crutched painfully into the house.

"Ow..."

"Johnny, you poor thing!"

"I'm okay, I'm okay. Thanks for letting me stay a few days."

"It's all right, sweetie. I made the den up and moved Mother to Jenny's room. That way you won't have to climb the stairs."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." Johnny crutched toward the den. "Ow, ow, ow..." He tripped on the threshold, falling on his face just as Joanne's mother came down the stairs.

"Johnny, oh my God, what happened?"

"Nothing. Just a few mishaps. Roy, could ya help me up?"

Roy helped Johnny to his feet and into the den. When he emerged, Joanne's mother was staring at him.

"You know what you are, mister? You're a MENACE, that's what you are." Roy flushed with anger, then looked at her and laughed.

"I love you too, Mom."

THE END