Burger King's Tale
HERE STARTS THE BURGER KING'S TALE.
The hallway was silent
An in a dark room, our hero sat with a client
There he sat, for many hours
Pondering why he sat there, he seemed to sour
Like milk when it gets too old
And a rancid smell that waits for you to behold
The torture that it afflicts
And revolts addicts
Such as the one that sits before him
With his strange whim
He had a passion
More like an obsession
He wanted the world's greatest muffin
Our hero thought he was bluffin'
The client traveled the world and tasted many
He spent every single penny
Searching for that elusive muffin
His journey has made him toughen
But not even the strongest of pleasure seekers
Could travel the world without comfortable sneakers
Our hero's mission was simple
That he could do it without getting a pimple
He had to find his client a new pair of footwear
But he has to beware
There seems to be a sneaker thief
So our hero sets out on his mission after his debrief
He travels to the local shoe store in the city
It décor is very pretty
With old Victorian pictures
Of old English sinners
He asked the shoe maker for a pair of shoes
"For who?" asks the shoe maker as our hero sits on a misplaced pew
"A client of mine" answers our hero
"I'm sorry but we do not have that size, try the store in the chateau"
"Thank you" says the hero and takes his leave to continue his journey
He passes a man laying on a gurney
Hero reaches the chateau, and goes into the store
He saw a woman that he would ignore
But she was the shop keeper
The shoes here were cheaper
He asks if she had the necessary size
She says she does, but only if he answers her question will he receive his prize
"What can go up a chimney down, but cannot go down a chimney up?"
He felt his brain would blowup
He thought and he thought
He began to answer the question with random answers, such as turnip
Eventually he gave his final answer "An umbrella."
She replied "Well, aren't you a smart fella."
She gave him the shoes and he went on his way
He left smiling and feeling gay
We walked through the streets back to his office
He was overcome with a strange blindness
A sharp pain to the head
He woke up later in his bed
He looked around
And found
His client sitting in a chair
With his fingers in his hair
"It seems the shoe thief has attacked you"
Our hero replies "He's rather cuckoo"
The hero leaves to search for the thief
He goes to the park and kicks at this leaf
As he explores he finds a strange mound
He goes home to retrieve a shovel to dig out what he found
He returns to the park and begins to dig
While he digs his head is hit with a twig
He looks up to discover
The shoe thief as he tries to cover
Our hero is about to be attacked
By the strange man, he gets whacked
By a falling stiletto heel
Made out of steel
Our hero takes his shovel and swings it hard
He hits the thief and he gets up, on guard
The hero raises his weapon again
The thief runs away in pain
The hero continues to dig into the mound
And he is shocked at what he has found
A pile of stolen shoes
He reports what he found to the news
And takes the ones that he got for his client
When he gets to his office, hero is silent
Client looks over and asks him
"Have you found my shoes, Tim?"
Hero holds up the shoes and throws them over
"Take your damn shoes, I'm leaving this town and moving to Dover"
"I'm sorry dear friend if this was more difficult than you expected"
Hero leaves his office feeling dejected
Several years later hero receives a letter
He searches for the name of the sender
It was from his old client with the muffin obsession
In the letter was a confession
Of failure in his epic journey
And becoming a great attorney
The shoe thief was caught
And then brought
To an insane asylum
Where they would make a film
About crazy shoe stealer man
Hero thought that was a crazy plan
Hero closes the letter and turns off the light
He goes to bed and turns in for the night.
HERE ENDS THE BURGER KING'S TALE.
