Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (if I did, none of the Akatsuki would have died and they would've dominated the world by now)
A/N:
Finally getting started on something that has at least some substance to it. But then again, crack is still crack. IMHO I seriously need to work on my humor. Or my lack thereof, rather ._. Also I'm trying to work on my English. I obviously abuse commas and 'and's way too much.
Haha, this one's for all the Akatsuki fans out there (like me!); because the Akatsuki are too cool to be villains, they're awesome antiheroes!
Review if you would like to, and criticism is accepted!
Enjoy
Why Tobi shouldn't cook
Chapter 1: Tobi cooks
It was Saturday night, and Saturdays were Tobi's turn to cook.
Naturally that placed all the other Akatsuki members on full guard, since Tobi was considered the nuttiest kid on the block, and there was no telling just what he'd do to their food. So despite Kakuzu's violent objections against 'such wastage of cash', they made it the top of their priority list to have a set of silver needles ready before their Saturday meals.
Not that they were like, scared of being poisoned by some swirl-faced kid or anything. Nope, nope, definitely not.
It was just another regular Saturday night, the Akatsuki's night off from whatever assassination/bounty/hunting job they had.
Except that Tobi wanted to 'try' out 'something new'.
Unbeknownst to the others, a small storm was brewing in the kitchen.
When Tobi said he wanted to try something new, he had meant adding every single ingredient ne could find on the kitchen table to his tomato stew. "Tobi is a good boy!" He sang, casually grabbing several unlabeled bottles of unidentified substances and dumping them in the stew. Thankfully, these were mere condiments like salt and sugar, which would of course give the soup a weird taste, but the Akatsuki could never really complain, because their own cooking hardly fared any better at all. Tobi dipped his finger into the food and tasted it. "It's too salty! Tobi needs to dilute it! Because Tobi is a good boy!"
Suddenly, Tobi spotted a tiny bottle of a clear, transparent liquid, which reminded him of water.
He had a not-so-good brainwave and picked it up from the table.
He twisted open the cap.
He studied the contents.
Then he poured every single drop of it out into the tomato stew.
"Dinner is done! Tobi is a good boy!"
Pure happiness and pride was radiating from the orange-masked man as he watched his fellow partners-in-crime file into the kitchen. He hurriedly lay the table with a pink unicorn table mat and set Carebear bowls and My Little Pony character-themed cutlery on the table.
"What the –censored- ?!" Hidan yelled at the disgusting set up. The Jashinist grabbed the seat furthest from Tobi and sat himself down lazily, the blood from his just-completed ritual leaving a trail down the stairs.
Tobi began scooping the chunky-looking stew into his 'friends'' bowls, humming the Sesame Street theme song as he did so. This earned him glares and stares and a "He's finally lost his marbles, un.".
And thus dinner commenced, with the usual squabbling amongst the Akatsuki accompanied by numerous flinging spoonfuls of tomato stew across the table. That was when Zetsu, all serious-looking, entered the room.
"Has anyone seen my truth serum?"
