Here's a Nogi Wakaba is a Hero fanfic about Wakaba being clueless, as usual. Inspired by the scene in chapter 10 where she tells Hinata that she's not light to carry. Actually, this seems to be the very first English Nogi Wakaba is a Hero fanfic. I'm glad I have the honor.
The sun was sinking behind the horizon and the group of five Heroes and the miko Hinata had just finished cooking their nightly meal of udon. Despite the disheartening (to say the least) scenery they'd seen all day, the group, sans Chikage, was attempting to put on a cheerful front and they were talking about lighter topics. Anzu had quietly mentioned her guilty pleasure of leafing through fashion magazines and she, Yuna and Hinata had started talking about their favourite styles and models. Chikage had been reluctantly dragged into the conversation by Yuna, although her contribution was minimal. The fashion ignorant Wakaba and Tamako had been left to their own devices after Wakaba had asked them what country Coco Chanel was and Tamako had said that she thought that the stylised metal hats that Anzu had described would make good udon bowls.
"But you know, I think you'd make a great model An-chan!" Yuna said in her usual cheerful manner. "You've got the right body shape and a cute face too! And you too Gun-chan, you have such a beautiful face and refined looking body!"
Anzu's face reddened and she ducked her head as if to hide. "D-Don't be ridiculous Yuna-san, I'm nowhere near that good looking…" she stammered.
Chikage squirmed slightly, feeling a little uneasy at the attention. "That's…very unlikely…"
"No way, I'm definitely right! After we've finished fighting you could totally become models! In fact, everyone here except for me is so good looking that I bet you all could, Wakaba-chan is even as tall as some of them used to be! She could even style menswear with her handsome looks! I guess Hinata and Tamako are a little short to be runway models but they'd definitely get work in magazines or something!" Yuna said, gesturing enthusiastically with her hands as she did.
Anzu and Chikage were looking away in intense embarrassment at receiving such glowing praise, while Hinata was enjoying the compliments with cheerful smile. She decided to counter Yuna's low assessment of herself however. "Your opinion of yourself is much too low Yuna-san, you're quite charming yourself. You'd surely be more likely to get modelling work than me," she said flatteringly.
"Aw, you! There's no way!" Yuna disagreed with a wave of her hand.
"I…agree with her…" Chikage said, having recovered enough to rejoin the conversation.
Anzu nodded in agreement. "Me too! You're just as good looking as everyone else here!"
"Ahahaha…" Yuna scratched her head in embarrassment.
Tamako had caught the tail end of the conversation and snorted in disbelief. "You've spent too much time in the sun Yuna. Tama is no model and she doesn't want to be," she said, shoveling more udon into her mouth as she spoke. "And she isn't that short!" she added defensively.
Wakaba looked over at them curiously. "You all want to be models when this is over?" she asked, only having caught snippets of the conversation.
Hinata turned so she was half facing Wakaba and half facing the others. "No Wakaba-chan, we're just complimenting each other. Its just something that groups of girls often do," she explained with a small smile. She wasn't making fun of Wakaba, this was merely part of raising her, as was Hinata's duty.
"Oh, really? …Then, you're all very good looking," Wakaba said gamely, addressing the entire group.
The group laughed good naturedly, some more loudly than others, to Wakaba's confusion. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing Wakaba-chan, its just surprising how direct you are," Yuna said.
Wakaba shrugged mentally. She never had figured out the finer details of social interaction, but she supposed it didn't matter that much.
"I doubt I could become a model though, I believe that shorter and cuter girls are considerably more popular these days," she mused. Even Wakaba had noticed the largest trends in society.
"That's true enough, but tall and handsome girls have their own niche. I for one have always considered that type to be quite beautiful," Hinata said.
"I-I see," Wakaba said.
"Actually, if I'm honest I think that you're the cutest girl here Wakaba-chan," Hinata said, deciding to tease her a little, although she really did mean it.
"Y-You do? Well, thank you," Wakaba stammered.
The others were enjoying her reactions, none more so than Hinata. She decided to fluster Wakaba a little more.
"Say, Wakaba, who do you think the best looking out of us is?" she said, leaning forward with a teasing look on her face. She felt sure that Wakaba would either be too flustered to answer, or answer that it was Hinata herself, as was proper considering their relationship. Either way, she was bound to make an interesting expression for Hinata's collection and it would be good teasing ammunition for the others.
Wakaba thought about the question seriously, hand coming up to rest on her chin. "Hmm…of course I can't rank myself, that would simply be arrogant, although I wouldn't class myself particularly highly anyway…attractiveness is somewhat subjective of course, but there is a measure of objectiveness to it as well…hmm…"
Wakaba personally considered Hinata the most attractive, but that was probably subjective on her part. If she wanted to give an objective answer then she had to think things through logically. She thought back to the fashion and celebrity gossip magazine covers she'd seen when she was younger, the celebrities that her classmates had considered the most attractive and the scientific standards of beauty, such as symmetry and so on, to determine who would be considered the most attractive of them by a popular vote, then came to her conclusion.
"I suppose objectively speaking it would be Chikage or Anzu," she answered honestly.
The temperature around the campsite seemed to drop, and the groups movements ground to a halt. Tamako sat there with udon half raised to her open mouth. Yuna's face was caught halfway between a wince and a cringe. Chikage's eyes had widened in alarm and Anzu had covered her mouth with both hands in a mixture of shock and horror, staring at Wakaba with disbelieving eyes. Wakaba noticed none of this.
Hinata's expression hadn't changed per se, but seemed stiff and strained. "Oh, is that so…? …Yes, they are quite attractive aren't they? I'm not surprised you think that way, ohoho…"
She leaned back and gazed at Wakaba through half lidded eyes. "Now that I think about it, you've become quite close to those two just lately, haven't you? How nice for you, to be spending so much time with such attractive girls."
Tamako quietly picked up her bowl and crawled away from the firing zone on three limbs.
Wakaba cocked her head, puzzled by the line of questioning. "Well, that doesn't really have anything to do with why I'm spending time with them. Its more that our personalities have become more compatible just lately, for many reasons."
"Ah, I see. They have appealing personalities to you, do they? How wonderful. I'm sure that's helping you out on the battlefield."
"I suppose so," Wakaba agreed. She then noticed Yuna and Tamako making frantic motions at her with their hands. Yuna was waving her hands above her head to get Wakaba's attention, while Tamako was making frantic slashing motions across her throat, meant to tell Wakaba to stop talking. Wakaba didn't understand. "What? Is there something wrong?" she asked them, looking around for signs of the enemy but seeing nothing untoward. "What?" she asked in bewilderment. The pair face-palmed simultaneously. Anzu and Chikage had retreated behind them and were desperately praying for the situation to resolve itself smoothly.
"Say, Wakaba," Hinata said, her jaw noticeably tense now, "Just where would you rank me out of all five of us attractiveness wise, I wonder?"
"Hmm? I suppose you're the third, or maybe fourth best looking girl here. You're certainly cute, but I suspect Yuna's healthy skin tone and…general aura, I suppose you could say, might win out in todays climate. After all, the stress of life and the effects of Sky Fear Syndrome have been making a lot of people start to look quite sickly, so a healthy looking girl should be considered particularly attractive by people these days. Although you do have fairly large hips and breasts, which is supposed to be a sign of fertility which I suppose could give you an edge," Wakaba answered.
"…I see…I see, I see. Well I'm certainly glad that I'm not the most unattractive girl here to you," Hinata said, still fixing Wakaba with an unsettling smile. "Really, I'm so glad that you don't consider me some sort of hideous hag. I feel so valued. …At any rate, I appear to have developed a headache. I'll turn in for the night. Goodnight everyone," she said, pointedly turning and directing her goodbyes to everyone but Wakaba.
"Hm? You're not going to clean my ears tonight?" Wakaba asked in a surprised tone. Hinata almost never missed a chance to clean Wakaba's ears, so it must be a very severe headache, Wakaba thought.
Hinata's jaw clenched so hard that the others were surprised that she didn't crack her teeth. Even Wakaba noticed, although she put it down to headache pain.
"No, not tonight. Why don't you ask Chikage or Anzu to do it for you, since you're so close now, hm?" Hinata said with an icy smile.
"Oh, okay," Wakaba said. "Do you want some painkill-"
"No. Goodnight." And with that abrupt cut off, Hinata went into her tent and zipped the flap behind her.
Wakaba frowned after her in concern. "I hope she isn't coming down with something," she said to herself. She turned to face the others and jumped slightly at the sight of all four of them staring at her. "W-What?"
The four girls looked at Wakaba, expressions ranging from pitying to withering to disapproving. "What? Why are you all looking at me with those faces?" she said, feeling vaguely victimised.
Tamako walked over to Wakaba, kneeled down until they were face to face and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Listen, Wakaba. There's digging a hole for yourself, then there's hijacking a digger and plowing through the ground 'til you smash through a water pipe and cause millions of yens worth of damage. That's what you just did."
Wakaba stared at her uncomprehendingly. "But I've never even been in a digger."
"…You're a lost cause huh, Wakaba? Tama wonders whether you'll survive the night." Tamako shook her head sadly. "It was nice serving with you, leader. Tama hopes we meet in the next life."
"What?"
Wakaba was filled with confusion. The others were looking at her with much the same expression as Tamako had. It was only because they knew Wakaba so well that they weren't thinking extremely poorly of her. Yuna and Anzu wanted to tell Wakaba what she'd said wrong, but somehow they wanted to believe that she could figure it out for herself, as the thought that she could be quite this clueless was enough to make them despair. Chikage just didn't want to get involved in such a messy situation. They agreed between them to only tell Wakaba what it was she'd done if she hadn't figured it out by the next night.
Wakaba of course thought about asking them what she'd done wrong but, after thinking a little, resolved to fix the problem herself. After all, the last time she messed things up Hinata had told her it was best if she figured things out on her own. First she'd have to figure out what was wrong, then how to fix it. Now that she thought about it, this had started after Hinata had excused herself. 'I must have said something wrong to her…but what?' she wondered.
Wakaba sat by the fire in deep thought for twenty minutes, playing the conversation back in her mind to no avail, then suddenly had an epiphany.
'Ah…come to think of it, I asked Hinata whether she was going to clean my ears even though she had a headache…oh no, that was insensitive of me wasn't it? She must be upset with me, and the others could tell! I'll have to make it up to her,' she concluded. Wakaba felt very guilty, so guilty she hardly slept. She tossed and turned all night, sleeping only restlessly.
The next morning, just before dawn, Wakaba had gotten sick of lying awake worrying about things and exited her tent half an hour before they were due to get up, determined to fix things right away. She unzipped Hinata's tent and crawled in. "Hinata!" she called, leading Hinata to jerk awake in alarm.
"What? Is there an enemy attack?" she asked in a state of groggy panic.
"No, I brought you some painkillers for your headache," Wakaba said, hoping to get back into Hinata's good graces. Hinata dropped her head back down with an unimpressed groan, although Wakaba didn't pick up on this either.
"Also…I wanted to apologise for being so insensitive yesterday."
Hinata raised her eyebrows. "Oh, you finally realised huh? Even so-"
"Yes, asking after whether you were going to clean my ears or not even though you had a headache was selfish of me. Please forgive me," Wakaba said sincerely, bowing her head as low as she could given her position.
Hinata stared at her flatly. "Ah…I should have known. Well, don't worry about that Wakaba. I hardly even noticed. I'm used to you by now, after all."
"Oh, really? Thank goodness. I'm glad we sorted that out, I'd hate to think I'd harmed our friendship. See you at breakfast then!" Wakaba left the tent satisfied that she'd managed to fix the problem on her own.
She was quite surprised when Hinata both elected to have Yuna carry her on their travels instead of Wakaba and pointedly ignored her for the entire day.
