WALKING CONTRADICTIONS

WALKING CONTRADICTIONS

CSI is owned by the CBS Empire run by Darth Moonves.

Green Day is owned by someone. I haven't figured out who yet.

I was in a weird mood and listening to some Green Day when I heard this song, 'Walking Contradiction' and thought about the hilarious video that accompanies it.

So before you read this, check out the video on You Tube and then you'll see where I got this little bunny from.

The video makes no sense, as does my story, but it just seemed like a funny idea to imagine our CSIs in the quest to solve crimes creating havoc in the process.

And of course, being a fanatical animal lover, I had to add some four legged creatures into the mix for good measure. .

THANKS TO SMOKEY FOR HER QUICK BETA!!

It was a bright sunny day on Happy Trails Lane as CSI Nick Stokes skipped along the sidewalk to the crime scene. Mr. and Mrs. Huckleberry an elderly, short and stout couple were found dead on their front lawn, impaled on their gnomes.

Nick whistled merrily as his crime scene kit swung to and fro in one hand while he picked up a stick with the other and ran it across the white picket fence. As he approached the crime scene, he tossed the stick backwards and it landed on the road, knocking a cyclist down.

The cyclist sat up and started screaming at Nick, "You fucking moron! You nearly killed me."

Aww, but our fair Texan lad is too caught up with investigating the bizarre deaths of Mr. and Mrs. Huckleberry who were found impaled on their four-foot gnomes!

In one fluid motion, he leaped over the fence, landed, and trotted onward, stepping on a sleeping cat's tail. The short-haired, orange kitty awoke with a screech and raced off over a lawn chair, knocking a can of yellow paint off the chair. The can landed on a black Labrador Retriever below who jumped up with a fierce growl and ran off after the cat who ran across the crime scene, leaving a trail of bloody paw prints followed by the dog who left a trail of yellow paw prints.

LVPD Detective, Jim Brass looked up from writing notes and yelled, "Get out of here!! Or I'll call the goddamn humane society to pick you up!!"

The animals raced on, passing by CSI Supervisor, Gil Grissom who had stopped at a newspaper stand to buy a newspaper, but as he grabbed the paper the entire stand collapsed and started flying down the street behind him. He took no notice.

Grissom walked across the street from corner to corner, reading the paper as trucks and cars careened to avoid him whilst crashing into one another, one leaping over an SUV and crashing to the ground.

A mirror flew off the car and landed on the street in front of CSI Warrick Brown who picked it up to admire his reflection, and as he did a sunbeam hit the mirror and caused a bright flash which shone into the eyes of a man pulling on a rope to hoist a piano to the third floor. He let go of the rope and the piano came barreling down, narrowly missing CSI Greg Sanders who proceeded to cross the street, not noticing the guy in the cherry picker who was trying to fix the stoplight. Sanders pressed the crosswalk button and the light blew up, knocking the guy off the cherry picker and onto the dog who was crossing the street looking for the cat with the bloodied paw prints. Pissed off, the dog attacked the guy in the middle of the street, causing more traffic chaos as a fire hydrant blew up and kids came running out of nowhere to play in it.

Meanwhile, Nick Stokes decided to go and meet his buddies in the middle of the street. His hat blew off in the wind and was caught by the dog who had finished attacking the guy from the cherry picker, and the dog raced off with the hat, much to Nick's chagrin. But alas, he reached into his pocket and pulled out another hat and plopped it down on his head.

The End.