Destructive Mistake
A/N: So I wrote this one shot for a monthly Criminal Minds contest here on . So this is my entry. Please don't hesitate to R&R and let me know what you think. I posted this without having my beta look over it so all the mistakes are most certainly mine. Anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or the Characters.
The memories had resurfaced so fast and so suddenly that they had knocked the wind out of me. I was slightly confused when I woke up in a bed that was not my own. I was even more taken by surprise when I realized that there was a body sleeping next to me. I was sure that something was off. I thought that maybe I was just hallucinating, but then it all came down on my like a ton of bricks. The memories were coming in flashes, but still they were coming and the more that I remembered and replayed the sicker I got.
The bar was filled to the max. There were bodies everywhere. Every nook and cranny had someone occupying it. Why I had been invited to this overcrowded dump, I had no clue, but I was ready for this to end. I had only agreed because of those eyes. The brown eyes, innocent and captivating, that had begged for me to agree. The husky, "Yes," had fallen from my lips before I could even think of a reason why I shouldn't be doing this. Going to the bar I ordered my drink.
"Scotch on the rocks. Actually make that a double." Then I was trying to scout out my host. Today had been exhaustingly long and frankly I just wanted to be in my own bed sleeping away all the horrid things that had read in all those files today. The bartender placed my drink down and that was when I spotted them. The long wavy brown trusses that hung just past the shoulders. Brown eyes, the very ones that had gotten me into this mess, looking around with worry. Grabbing the drink and letting out a large sigh, I began my journey to their table. Once I was there the eyes stopped roaming and the smile that I had fallen for long ago appeared. 'This is such a bad idea. I should not be doing this.'
"You came?" The excitement was not well hidden.
"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" My voice was steady. My expression unreadable.
"Well, because you know….after what happened I just assumed you wouldn't want to see me outside of work."
"Spence, I told you already that I want us to still be friends. I broke up with you because I just had too much going on to take care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of. That's all. So, of course I came."
Spencer looked down at the table before speaking in a whisper, "How is Jordan doing?"
When he had asked that question I had instantly felt like shit. I had told him that there was no one else and that it was because I thought he deserved better. And that was all true. But two weeks after our huge breakup I had gotten together with Jordan and things at work had become extremely awkward. Bile rose in my throat at the thought of how hard it had been for Spencer to even look at me, let alone speak. With everything that I had put him through he had somehow found it in his heart to let me in again. He was being the bigger person.
Time seemed to stand still as I watched guy after guy eyeball Spencer. Yes, he was attractive but when we had been together he had never encouraged the attention. He had always given me all his attention, not bothering with the magnitude of guys that seemed to throw themselves at him. My anger was starting to get the best of me. There was no way that I was going to stand around and watch my ex flirt with other guys. I downed my drink quickly which caused Spencer to focus on me once again.
Slamming the glass down, I spoke, "I think that I am just going to go so that you can…better entertain yourself."
"Really Morgan? You are angry with me for glancing at a guy after you broke it off with me? Okay, whatever you want to do is fine with me." He stood swiftly and made his way to the bathroom. I could tell that he was hurt by my behavior and part of me felt guilty. The other part was still bitching and moaning about Spencer's obvious ability to quickly get over things. As I stewed in my own thoughts the guy that Spencer had been flirting with for the past thirty minutes had come over. He stood about my height and had icy blue eyes. His hair was blonde and he wore a smile that spoke of victory.
"So, is the hottie that just ran off your boyfriend?"
"What? Oh, no he isn't. We're just friends." The words burned coming out and I wanted to change them. Just so this creep would leave him alone- at least that was what I told myself.
"Well then in that case I guess that I can swoop in and see if I can get lucky." As soon as the words left his mouth I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face.
"I don't think so. You're not really his type."
"Oh yea, how do you know that?" He leaned closer and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
"Because I'm his type. So back off before I make you back off."
"I bet that he goes home with me instead of you." This guy was persistent but I wasn't about to back down so that this prick could take what was mine…what had been mine.
"Well I bet that he goes home with me. Since I know that I will win I guess that you should just leave now while your dignity is still intact." He was about to say something, but just then Spencer returned to the table. The guy spoke before I could.
"Hello there. I'm Ethan. You are?"
"I'm Reid. Spencer Reid." Spencer held out his hand and gave Ethan a smile that I use to take for granted. The thoughts hurt, but I pushed them aside ready for the challenge that had been issued to me.
The body next to me began to move around. Quickly I sat up, effectively disentangling us. This was such a bad idea. I so should not have agreed to that bet with that stupid guy from the bar. This is going to set us back so far. I looked down and was instantly met by the stare of the man that I was once in love with…the man that last night made me realize that I still loved him. Without breaking eye contact he began to trace the outline of the tattoo on my arm. This brought back the memories of our relationship. So often Spencer had done this exact thing in the morning. It had become so common that it was like breathing. I felt empty without that contact and yet I had given it up. I had come to terms with the fact that I was not right for Spencer and that I was now with Jordan. Shit Jordan!
Ethan had been standing at our table for over an hour now. The more he talked the closer that he moved to Spencer. At this point they could have been kissing. The image of this jerk with his tongue down my genius' throat popped into my head, taunting me. Just in time I saw Ethan go in for the kiss and before I could stop myself I lunged forward and pulled my ex-lovers face to mine. Crashing our lips together I molded my body to Reid's leaving no gaps or room for escape.
He was taken off guard at first, but eventually he got into the kiss. He leaned further into me like he didn't have enough contact. My tongue traced his bottom lip and instantly Spencer opened up for me. Things were moving so fast that I had no time to stop this downward spiral. Pushing caution to the wind I allowed my hands to glide over his body, reintroducing myself to him. This, at one point and time, had come so easily like clockwork. Apparently I hadn't forgotten all the times that we had shared together like I had thought. When the need for air became too strong to ignore I pulled back. Resting my forehead against Spencer's. He was breathing just as hard as I was and I smiled down at him. It was so easy to be wrapped up in the essence and experience that was Spencer Reid.
"Well, I think that I am just going to leave now. It was nice to meet you Spencer Reid," Said Ethan but Reid never took his eyes off me. I was winning.
I jumped out of the bed and quickly went looking for my underwear. I heard the distinct shuffle of Spencer moving in the bed. That was a sound that I had become so accustomed to, but in the silence that permeated the room it was an accusing sound. A sound that spoke of my cheating. I moved on autopilot, not ready to deal with the situation at hand. That bet was such a stupid idea. So damn stupid! When I was completely dressed it was no longer an option to avoid what I knew had to happen. So, slowly and with a knot in my stomach I turned around and faced Spencer, but he was no longer in the room. Shit! This just keeps getting better every minute.
Spencer was still smiling and that made my heart lighter. I felt better than I had during the entire time period since our breakup. I had felt so lost and empty without this…without Reid. Sure Jordan filled a portion of that emptiness, but it was only a portion. Spencer jostled me out of my musing with a question I knew would be unavoidable.
"Want to get out of here?" The question was like a loaded gun. If I said yes I knew what would happen. No was the appropriate answer to give, but my mind and heart weren't in agreement. My heart wanted to leave with the genius that still held my heart. It wanted to wrap myself in him and disappear for all eternity. My mind however saw what this would lead to and it warned me of the danger. I was going to hurt two people if I did this, but I couldn't bring myself to say no. So, I held out my hand offering it to Spencer. His smile grew wider as he interlaced our fingers.
"Spencer! Spencer! Pretty Boy, answer me please," I was shouting at this point but I had not moved from my spot beside the bed. I knew where he was. I knew what he was doing. You certainly screwed this up Derek. Now you have to fix it. With my conscious telling me how much of a prick I was for putting Reid through this I made my way to the other side of the room where the door to the master bathroom was. I knocked on the door, but received no answer. I knocked once more before I turned the knob to see if it was locked. It wasn't. I walked in and the sight that I took in knocked the wind out of my system.
We entered Reid's apartment attached at the mouth. We had been locked in a kiss since we got out of the car. Spencer was trying so hard to get my shirt off but I refused to break the kiss. It was futile because in the back of my head I knew that eventually he would get what he wanted…he always did where I was concerned. When he reached for my belt instead I pulled back and then he took his opportunity sliding the shirt effortlessly over my head. My head hit the pillow on the bed as the man before me worked on removing my jeans. We had been separated too long and I had a craving to feel his mouth against mine. So once the jeans were off I pulled him up to me meshing out lips together.
Spencer was on his knees in front of the toilet. His right hand held his hair as he vomited the little contents that he had in his stomach. His eyes were red and puffy and the tears were falling faster than he could wipe them away. When he was done hurling his guts out he leaned back against the wall. Bringing his legs up he wrapped his arms around them and rested his head against his arms. I could hear his sobbing and then him mumbling something but I couldn't make out exactly what he was saying. Slowly I moved over to him and sat down. I wanted to reach out and comfort him. I needed to make him feel better, but I didn't think that he would allow it.
"I'm sorry," I said with a voice that I didn't even recognize. "I'm so sorry, Spencer."
It became instantly obvious that there was no coming back from this. Last night I had sealed my own fate. I had left the bar with Spencer on my arm, gloating in my head about how I had beat Ethan…how I had won. But now I was clear that I had lost. Without thinking or even trying I had destroyed the one thing that had been good in my life. The bet had been the worst mistake of my life. By agreeing to the stupid bet I had ensured that Spencer would never again be able to look at me without thinking about how he had become the guy on the side.
With one bet- a bet that I should have never agreed to- I had demolished the one person who had held my heart without any hesitation.
"I'm so sorry."
