DISCLAIMER: We don't own Lost, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or any related characters.
Chapter 1
Locke looked up from the match programme and sighed. The opposition was full of familiar famous players. The game ahead would be tough. Why had he ever agreed to do this? ….
Flashback
Locke typed in the last number, 42, and pressed 'execute', silencing the irritating beep. He heard someone enter the Hatch and turned to face the male figure running toward him.
"Locke, you've got to come now!" Jack shouted, in his usual heroic, life-saving doctor voice.
"Why?" Locke asked, not at all troubled by the panic in Jack's voice, as he tended to get worked up very easily.
"We've got to go see the Big Hairy Other (Note: Big Hairy Other is the Others' leader, who is, from now on, known only as BHO. Other others will be abbreviated to O1, O2, etc…). He just paged me on my cell phone that I'm too thick to use to get us off this island."
"Yes, you are rather thick." Locke replied in a vengeful voice that conveyed very clearly his hatred of Jack (Note: Unless clearly stated please take it for granted that everyone besides Kate and Ana Lucia hate Jack).
Locke led Jack by the hand back to the Camp, as Jack was too thick to make it by himself. There they met Kate who was being her usual annoying self and insisting on going to meet the BHO. They set off two hours later after many arguments (including a bitch fight between Locke and Jack over whose hair was prettiest). Sayid led the group, closely followed by Jack (who was too busy sulking, after Hurley had declared that Locke's hair was prettiest, to be in his usual "I'm the best, I should be first" mood). Eko came next, with his big Jesus stick. The majority of them were clustered in the next group, which consisted of the entire camp minus those already stated and Charlie, who was lagging behind sniffing drugs.
The meeting was very eventful. The agenda of the meeting was as follows
- A heated debate over the current holder of the title "Male Islander with the Smoothest legs"
- A slanging match between O26 and O49, who were arguing over who got to eat Sun.
- BHO, assisted by O1-O50 (excluding O4, O8, O15, O16, O23 and O42, who were all mysteriously feeling a bit sick), explaining the real reason for the meeting.
The real reason for the meeting was very simple- The Lost producers had joined forces with other popular book/film producers. Together they had decided to spice up their productions in a once off TV show special, in which the Lost & Co (a team consisting of all the good characters) take on the Others & Co (made up of bad characters) in a hurling match in Croke Park, Ireland.
Jack immediately elected himself as captain of the Lost team. Gandalf was to be the manager. Locke, who was pissed off because Jack had taken the title of "Male Islander with the Smoothest Legs", defiantly switched sides and declared himself manager of the Others team. BHO was unanimously voted captain.
And so the meeting ended. The next day the entire crew of Lost and all of the characters from Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter woke up in a hotel near Croke Park. The teams began training for the match to end all matches.
End of flashback
Locke sighed again. There was only a week left till the match. He did not care how but he had to beat Jack.
