read me?, please go to the notes at the end of the chapter before reading.
but only with the moon
—ddeiSmile—
i/iv
Paris was devastated, a blur of what it was yesterday: the streets, the lamps, the fire in the horizon—and yet it was so vivid, so beautiful under the moonlight. It was safe now, of course, that's why Ladybug was (probably) with her family, under the loving warmth of a home with people that would take care of her. Even though everything seemed shattered, he knew as well as she did that the Parisians were stronger than all this destruction. He could see it now from the top of his old school: people in the streets helping each other, fixing all that the lucky charm couldn't due to its proprietress weakness and the fact that had spent every ounce of magic saving his life. Adrien could see everything from where he standed: the courage, the love, the friendship, a city that was rising from the ashes while he waited for some signal, really, anything. He just couldn't be home anymore.
In the end he felt –he knew– that the final battle against Hawk Moth had took even more from him than from Ladybug or Paris itself. It had taken his own father. The thought made him tremble and with the movement all the wounds in his body felt with more strength than the pain in his chest. He couldn't take his own weight anymore and so he fell over his knees. He needed help, but no one could lend it to him; when Ladybug had offered it, he had to say no: this was his secret, for the first time he wanted to keep it like this, 'cause how could he face her ever again after she saw that Hawk Moth was Adrien Agreste's father? His own father. Gabriel Agreste had hoped and he couldn't even blame or hate him for it. How?, he once had also wished to bring his mother back at any costs.
In the new position he saw a faint light coming from the bakery that belonged to the Dupain-Cheng's family. He needed this, he needed to be selfish. He realised he had come in hopes of the memories of his friends (of something that could occupy his mind...), his old school, when everything was right and being Chat Noir meant only the promise of freedom in exchange of helping people: all he ever wanted. Now he wanted more and for the first time he was going to take it. He wasn't really thinking on it, it was what it was from a mind that was losing an inside battle. The cold air, still dirty from the ashes of buildings destroyed hit his face when he jumped from the school ceiling. He was reckless, like always, as if the years hadn't teached him something better, but he just thought it was enough with taking his mind off of his wounds, like that would cure him, as well as watching Marinette would bring him the memories he needed, but when he landed in Marinette's balcony, his legs couldn't support themselves and once again he fell over his knees, followed by his whole torso. Not long after, the smell of vanilla came to his nose, senses sharpened by the transformation. He realized the most ridiculous thought: he was hungry and the fact that he could actually think in something else was enough courage to obligate himself and turn upwards to be received by the bright moon. Marinette was there, he could feel her, she was probably trying to recognize what had hit her roof and this was the best way he had to make it easier for the both of them.
Not long after her voice came from above. "Can you stand?," she asked, caressing his hair. He suppressed a purr. It took him by surprised: the gesture, the question, and it must have showed all over his face 'cause she said: "you're too much of a fat cat…" and smiled.
It wasn't the answer he was looking for, but since she didn't ask what was he doing there, he thought it was only polite to do the same. He nodded as all answer and with her help came down to her bedroom.
Adrien had been once there, when they still saw each other due to school. (Adrien, the one who was inside of him, the part that wanted to disappear, that Plagg was hiding beneath the mask). He still could remember the pink walls, cute details everywhere, very likely of a fourteen years old teenage girl. Now that both of them were on their twentieth, the things had changed a little: walls covered with sketches, designs that she now sold through internet –he himself had bought a few things without letting her know (Adrien, not him)–, rising as a big internet fashion designer, and much other things that combined with it. She had changed too, he noted while she made him sit on the floor, in the middle of her room, while she searched for the lights: the hair coming from her pigtails was longer, she had larger hips, longer legs, a delicious aroma to it—the body of a woman. Bad kitty, he thought without caring too much, he was a man afterall. When she turned to him, now bathed by the light bulb and not his nightvision, his smile faded, noticing only then all her wounds. She wasn't much better than him.
She took the first aid box from her desk, which presumably had used on herself, and sat beside him. He then dared to ask.
"Are you alright?," she looked at him with something in her eyes that told him he had made the wrong question.
"I think that must be my line," he shrugged and stopped her hand when she tried to pass an alcohol wipe over his cheek. She let go of a sigh. "We all had to do something. I tried to help but I'm a mess, so I ended up tripping."
It didn't look like she had just tripped, but he was not going to pry from her anything more, at least not in that moment. So, when she went on again with the alcohol wipe, he let her do in silence, wincing now and then.
"You have... more… right?," she darted her eyes, a light blush appearing on her cheeks. He found that completely amusing, being the situation it was.
"More what, little Lady? You'll have to be more detailed," she looked like she wanted to kick him. He only smiled at her.
"What I'm asking is- if you can take that suit off?"
"Now, well... We're going kind of fast, aren't we?," she punched him in the ribs and the pain made him see white for a second. Immediately she regretted it, getting on her knees and over him to try to help calm the pain. That only made him laugh and complain of the new soreness that came with the action.
"You're so annoying!," she almost screamed, resisting the urge of hug him. He felt it anyway, the way she restrained in that second she hovered on his back. It made him turn to her, straightening with a hand over his chest, forgetting about the ache. Her blush came back as fast as his heart warmed with the feeling that maybe she truly cared. "I'm sorry…"
"It's okay. I'm a knight at your service, my Purrincess. There's nothing that can harm me," he wiggled his eyebrows.
He took the bell at the top of his suit and drag it downward until his broad chest was exposed. Marinette shifted and started to struggle with the first aid box, trying to cover her awkwardness. He would have payed attention to it, laugh a little bit about it 'cause he still remembered this behavior with Adrien: her inability to speak and how clumsy she had been sometimes; but the pain that shot through all his bones was enough to make him concentrate in a way to undress himself without starting to cry in front of her. The noise that came out of him at the moment was all it took for Marinette to be drawn again to him.
"Wait," she spoke soft, arms reaching in front as she settled behind his back, making him stay still while she took it off.
He breathed again when the pressure of the leather against his bruises disappeared completely, but for Marinette, the view was simply horrendous. He knew it was bad. When the battle had begun, he had taken a few attacks aimed for Ladybug, it was his best shot of doing something since Hawk Moth concentrated only on her (both male conscious that the only one capable of saving Paris was her), it was his way of helping and winning time for her to end the nightmare. The game had played on and on, having him spinning and falling and hitting the ground until the truth was revealed. He was lost for a moment, but somehow the weight of knowing just brought to him the idea that it didn't mattered if he was gone and then it gave him the strength to give his life so that she could finish Hawk Moth.
Marinette's hand pressed against his skin, bringing him back from the memory that had happened almost few hours ago. Once again she was saving him from himself. Her hands felt small, soft and warm against his skin, making everything a little bit better. She patched him up with such delicacy that he almost forgot the pain, too caught up in the way she was caressing him, like he was something precious, worth taking care of. In a fit of courage he faced her, smiling when the blush returned to her cheeks. The excuse was a low cut in his stomach and more bruises in his chest. She decided it was best not looking at his big green eyes, so shiny and puckish.
"Chat got your tongue?," he asked, rising an eyebrow. She snorted, averting her eyes when took support with a hand over his pectoral.
"Chat can't even stand on his own."
"Meow-uch."
She smiled again and he couldn't find in himself a reason as to why was he liking it so much. The silence was over them again, a comfortable silence that somehow made everything okay.
It was in that moment, without finishing her duty even though they both knew it was done, that she dared to ask, "do you want to stay?" His eyes searched for hers with surprise actually, her expression not wavering once.
It wasn't just the fact that he couldn't move properly, or that the place that was waiting for him was too empty, too painful to return to. It was those blue eyes that covered him up like the ocean and made him feel secure, safe from himself, like he belonged there, with her. He needed this, he wanted to be selfish, he had the right.
"Yes."
She noded once, as if that was enough, and it really was. She turned off the light bulb, then went for the little lamp that he had seen before coming in and finally got herself under the covers with a sleeping mask between her fingers.
"I won't see," she said, while she put the mask on, "you can rest assure."
The silence filled all the corners of the bedroom while he waited, as if all this was coming to an end very soon. But it never did: it was real. He then let go of his breath and with eyes closed transformed back to the person he didn't wanted to be, but he needed to give Plagg a rest. The little kwami floated in front of his face without a word, not only to avoid making Marinette conscious of his present, but because he understood what Adrien was going through and it was not the time to complain.
"Go search downstair for a kitchen. I'll repay her everything you eat, but don't make noises," he whispered.
Once alone, he took off his shoes and the shirt, becoming in a state kind of similar to how Chat Noir was before. He wanted to be him again, he felt this stinging in his fingers, but she was there, waiting for him and he somehow knew once he stayed beside her everything would be alright. Containing a breath he took a seat in the small bed, too small for him, so when he layed on his side he had to bent the knees until they were touching hers. Marinette smelled so good, so much that he couldn't fight the urge to get closer, and so he did until their fingers touched.
"Good night, Kitty."
He smiled slightly. "Good night, Purrincess."
nota.
Never thought I'd be here again, but I guess Chat Noir and Marinette are too much of a temptation. The thing is that english is not my first language, you'll probably notes it while reading, so if you can tell me any mistakes, I'll appreciated with all my heart. I have so many doubts with english, so, really, forgive me.
Also, I want to point out that in this ff (don't know if in the series is like this, since I have read some fanfics that say is not like this) they can be on their suits as long as they don't use the power like cataclysm or lucky charm. Hope you like it and any doubts I'll try to answer them in the next chapter. Also, it was inspired by this amazing drawing done by meru90 (on tumblr), I'll ask for her permission to show the link here or you can go to her tumblr and be amazed by her beautiful drawings of Adrien and Marinette and all the other couples.
Enjoy.
