Chapter 1: Help
1965
The two were alone once more. It seemed that that hadn't happened in a long while, not ever since Jude had left Briarcliff. As a matter of fact, that day that she walked out the door she thought that she had seen the last of this pathetic man.
She stood there in the doorway, the only light source coming from behind her in the hall. Jude supposed that maybe Arden wanted the dark room so that he wouldn't happen to catch sight of himself in any of the reflective objects in the room, and quite honestly she couldn't blame him. If she were him, she wouldn't want to catch sight of her own reflection either.
Her eyes scanned the small room, not sure what she was looking for. Perhaps something to focus on other than Arden. What she did notice was that his office seemed more barren than she remembered. The plants he had were brittle and dying, the room was messier. The doctor had stopped caring. The stress of everything must have gotten to him, eaten away at him from the inside out until he was fully consumed.
"Are you waiting for me to stop you?" Jude sharply asked, finally breaking the silence.
She remained stoic, her arms folded across her chest. All she really wanted at this point was to figure out why she was here. So far all she had done was stand here and watch as Arden sat in the center of the room on a wooden chair as he held tightly onto the gun. He sat facing his desk, making sure to continually look up to the window, out into the darkness of the night.
"I'm waiting for an apology. Certainly I'm entitled to one," Arden replied, looking up to her with dull eyes.
Arden was willing to take most of the blame for everything that had happened and there wasn't a day that passed in which he felt guilty. Working with these patients, using them to fulfill his need to experiment, to innovate, was his entire life. It was everything he loved. Science.
It had been over a year since he stopped experimenting on these patients. They only served to be a bitter reminder of all the wrong doings in his life. Never had he thought that he could ruin the one person that he actually loved.
It was that very night that he went out and slaughtered all of his subjects. He ventured into the woods, not caring if any of them attacked him or even if he died. All he cared about was getting the chance to be the one to terminate them.
"You'll die of natural causes sooner," Jude coldly stated.
Part of her felt as though maybe she should feel some pity for him. At the same time, this was all his fault. None of this would have happened if he would have been able to have more control over his subjects. All he had to do was not use people as objects.
She then sighed, dropping her arms to her sides as she took a couple of steps into the room. "Besides, I've yet to hear you apologize to anyone."
1963
January meant one thing in Briarcliff, sick season. Sometimes it was the flu, other times it was a simple cold that would just not go away. No matter what it was, it was impossible to keep one hundred plus isolated people from getting each other sick. It wore the nuns down and everyone seemed to be irritable.
"Sister Mary Eunice! Where are the sheets and blankets?" Jude called as she hastened into the common room. It had been Mary's job to take care of the laundry that morning and she had yet to see anything brought to the rooms. "Sister?" She called once more.
Mary Eunice had been in a daze as she knelt down on the ground, cleaning up the checker pieces that one of the patients had thrown during a temper tantrum. Everything around her seemed to be moving in slow motion. There was a dull pounding behind her eyes, a fever beginning to form. She didn't even hear Jude until she was addressed a second time.
"I'm sorry Sister," she weakly responded as she slowly pushed herself up to her feet.
The elder nun sighed, softening her expression as she saw that Mary hadn't been feeling good. Her glazed eyes were accompanied with dark circles and flushed cheeks. She wanted to be able to tell the young woman that she could go back to her room and rest, but they were all busy as it was, it would have been impossible to get others to pick up her workload.
"Just make sure to get the extra blankets to the patients. There's enough people sick around here. We don't need the infirmary getting any more crowded than it already is," Jude told her, making sure to be less harsh.
"Yes Sister Jude," Mary answered as firmly as she could.
The room might have been spinning and she might have wanted nothing more than to pass out and spend the rest of the day sleeping. She could not disappoint the one woman who had liked her. Jude had treated her like she was worth something, and that meant more than anything to her.
She turned on her heel and headed towards the doors to go down to the laundry room. Before she could reach the door though, one of the more well known patients, Shelley, stopped her from her seat on the couch.
"You aren't looking too good Sister," Shelley stated.
More than anything, she just liked to mess with the nun since it was so easy to. She was the only person here who wasn't all that willing to talk about Sister Jude behind her back. She'd even heard Arden make his remarks about her.
"I'm fine," Mary Eunice argued, a tight smile on her face as if it were some sort of proof.
"You sure about that?" Shelley inquired as she stood to her feet. A smug smirk tugged at her lips as she took a few steps closer to Mary. "Seems to me like miss Hitler's riding you a little too hard lately."
Normally Mary would be very patient with things like this. She would tell her that surely she's mistaken and that Jude's only trying to help. Today she just wasn't in the mood to deal with this.
"Sister Jude is only making sure that everything gets done around here. She doesn't ask us to do anymore than she's doing," she curtly stated.
"What? Do you think you'll burn in hell if you say anything bad about her?" Shelley questioned, looking to her with interest. A part of her really thought that the pristine little blonde actually believed such a thing.
"I, I need to go get the sheets from the laundry room," Mary murmured before walking around Shelley and rushing out of the room. This small talk was only upsetting her and she wanted to get through her chores as quickly as possible.
Mary Eunice, five years old sat at the picnic table. She was at her old elementary school play ground. Everything seemed bleak, cold, and lifeless. The only other person there was her older sister's friend, Karen.
"So what did you get for Christmas?" Karen asked as she sat down beside her.
"An orange," Mary timidly said.
"We used to get more before you were here," Helen, her older sister remarked.
Mary looked up to her, wide eyed with surprise once her sister appeared across the table from her. Helen was the sister closest to her age, five years older than her.
"Really?" Karen asked, as if it were some huge surprise.
"Yeah," Helen said, glaring to Mary.
The little girl sunk down in her seat. She hated knowing that she was the reason that the family was struggling. Everything was her fault lately. "I'm sorry."
Helen sighed, rolling her eyes. "That doesn't fix anything."
"I don't know how to fix it," she whimpered.
"I think you do," Helen replied, looking to her with sinister intent.
At that, Mary's eyes shot open to view the darkness that engulfed her. There was a tearing pain through her abdomen, one that made it almost hard to breathe. She could feel that her fever had spiked, making the room spin. She knew that she needed to stand, to go and get help. The problem was that she felt as though she would faint if she attempted to stand.
The ideal thing would have been to yell out, scream. She was her though, which meant that not that many people would actually care. No one would come running to her. Maybe one would, maybe Jude. It still wasn't worth waking everyone. It wasn't as though she were important enough.
The nun forced herself to climb out of her bed. Sitting up was painful and slow, but she managed to get to the edge of her bed. Her vision was blurry as she stared blankly ahead. Tears began rimming her eyes from the pain that was being intensified by the movement. She was starting to discover that her hair was wet from sweat.
All she wanted to do was lay back down and go back to sleep, but she was too uncomfortable for that. She needed help, she needed a doctor.
She intended to take a deep breath, but instead ended up just sharply inhaling as she finally pushed herself to stand to her feet. It felt as though the floor had fallen out from under her and she was seeing spots.
Four rooms down, that was all she had to do, make it four rooms down the hall.
First, she had to make it out of her room. As of right now, she was standing by her bed trying to regain some balance. As she quickly learned though, all that was happening was that she was getting worse as she waited.
The worst part would be getting from her bed to the doorway. After that she could use the wall for support if she needed it. Like a toddler learning how to walk, she kept one hand on her bed as long as possible as she started towards the doorway. Once she got to the point in which she couldn't hold onto the bed, she simply took small, careful steps.
It felt as though she had to walk a mile. Panic began to arise in her each time she felt as though she would fall and there was nothing to grab onto. That would mean lying there on the floor until someone cared enough to notice that she was missing. Part of her was sore enough, and tired enough to not care. Being who she was though, there would always be a bit of fear in her.
Once she was able to extend her hand and reach the wall she felt somewhat relieved. Her eyes shut tightly as she took a second to lean all of her weight against it. Her breathing was growing more shallow as her insides began to burn. She was growing less and less coherent. The only thing running through her mind was four rooms. Turn right and pass three. That was all she had to do.
That was much easier said than done. Clammy hands clenched against the cement as she started moving, baby steps carrying her body. Realistically, Jude's room was only about twelve yards away from her room. Suddenly it felt as though it were miles. One hand held onto the wall while the other arm was draped loosely around her middle. She was hot and cold at the same time, a sensation she hadn't felt since she had been little. It was when she was five. She had gotten pneumonia.
That was why they had such a bad Christmas and the rest of the years they couldn't do any better. She had gotten sick and they used all their savings taking care of her. All her thoughts went to when she was little, laying there in that room with all the other children as she stared straight ahead to that dingy window. You could barely see through it. There was a tree near it though, one that was home to a pair of Blue Jays that she would watch.
As soon as she had returned home, all she remembered was hearing her parents fighting. Her father mentioned that it was hard enough taking care of the surprise baby, that now it was nearly impossible with her getting sick so often. She must have gotten sick a few times before that. Maybe hospitalized.
It took a jolt through her abdomen to bring the young nun back to reality. She had to stop for a second to gather her composure and make sure she didn't faint. Once the sharpness resigned to a dull throbbing pain she continued.
"Sister Jude!" Mary called, knocking as soon as she got to her door.
Jude hadn't been sleeping that well, it was hard with the building being so cold, all the patients suddenly needing attention. This was the time of the year in which she slept very lightly. So although she had been expecting to be awoken tonight, the nun had caused her to jump, only for her to roll her eyes as she sat up and climbed out of bed. If anything, she figured that one of the patients had grown ornery or that someone was vomiting. Basically just about every situation that she really did not need to be there for, but they were going to get her anyways.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Jude stated as she grabbed her robe and pulled it closed around herself. The elder nun didn't even bother to try and hide her annoyance as she opened the door. "You'd better have a good explanation."
Even now the iciness struck her, leaving her fearful and wanting to say never mind and leave. The only reason that she didn't do that was the fact that she felt as though would collapse at any second now. Her knees were wanting to give in under her. If she were fully aware of everything, she would wonder how she was even still standing. Her eyes stung as she attempted to focus on Jude who may or may not have been concerned at this point. She wasn't even sure why they stung, nor did she think to question it.
"Help," she weakly whimpered. It was the only word that came to mind.
It took Jude a moment to fully wake and realize what was happening. She watched the girl, freezing for a second as her heart dropped. She had known that Mary was sick, but she never thought it was this bad. She never would have pushed her if she even thought it could get to this point. Her light blonde hair drenched as it clung to her pale, worn face.
Upon hearing the small plea she reached out and wrapped her arm around Mary's small frame. The first thing she had to do was get her a doctor, a real doctor. Never would she trust her in the hands of Arthur Arden. Besides, it was the middle of the night, he was home sleeping. And the nurses here were just that, nurses.
"Okay, come here. You'll be alright. Come here," Jude whispered, gently guiding her to the bed.
It was a small effort to try and keep her calm, although Jude began to wonder who really needed to be reassured here. Mary didn't seem to even notice what was happening. She was growing more concerned. None of the patients here were as bad as Mary was, so she could have something worse than the flu. Maybe her appendix had burst. There were a lot of things that could be wrong, a lot of things that could threaten her life.
Jude helped her to lay down on the bed, taking a second to decide against covering her with a blanket. It was cold, but the woman was already burning up. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did anything to make things worse.
Mary wasn't all that sure of what was happening. All she knew was that she was back on a bed and she was grateful. As soon as her head hit the pillow she wanted to go back to sleep. There was only one thing that kept her from sleeping, some sort of guilt.
"I'm sorry Sister," she muttered.
The apology wasn't a surprise to Jude, but it did stop her from turning and leaving to go use the phone. Her expression softened as she looked to the girl, just hoping that everything was going to be all right. In all honesty, she wasn't sure what she would do if Mary wasn't okay.
"Don't be. I'll call an ambulance. Just lay down and rest," she told her as firmly as she could.
Mary Eunice only nodded at the statement before drifting off into a fever ridden sleep. A part of her felt better knowing that she wasn't alone tonight. The idea of help though had slipped her mind. She wasn't sure what type of help she would get or even needed.
