AN: This is one I've been thinking about for awhile but never wrote it as I wanted it to be good but I'm a perfectionist so some things are never as perfected as I planned. Anyway I think this is ok so I'll post it, this is set before Chandler hid in his office and just a thought on what he is feeling and kind of hints (Well I think they are) to why he ran.
Disclaimer: I don't own Friends, I've just borrowed Chandler for a bit, I am going to return him so don't break into my house to grab him.
I can't believe I'm going to do this
Chandler thought, pacing back and forth in Joey's apartment due to his wedding tomorrow.
We can't be Mr and Mrs Bing, we just can't
Chandler pacing started to become frantic, his hands shaking with nervous energy. The panic making him feel as if his lungs were crushed, feeling the air leave him as if he would suffocate, like a cobra would kill it's prey.
If we become Mr and Mrs Bing will divorce, Monica will want kids..
At the thought of kids Chandler's eyes widen, true he always knew Monica wanted kids but they just can't if they become Mr and Mrs Bing.
They'll grow up like me, parents divorced and separating forever, apart from the cross dressing frather as I will not go down that root.
Chandler felt tears pricking at his eyes at the thought of his kids growing up like him, to be insecure and have commitment issues aswell as the many other issues he had.
We can't get married even though she's the love of my life but I'll ruin her life if we get married aswell as any kids we have. I can't let that happen, no it will never happen, this is the only way to protect her.
Quickly Chandler ran to his room, well his old room as Rachel was living here now. Opening the cupboards and drawers, rustling through their contents searching for a pen and something to write on. Giving up, not finding anything in Rachel's room, he returned to the living room to continue his search.
He finally found what he had be searching for only to knock a lamp off the table, only just catching it before it smashed on the floor.
And my friends call me a dropper
Chandler thought sarcastic before quickly shaking his head violently back and forth.
I got no time for this
Standing up from his crouching position, due to catching the lamp, and putting the lamp back on the table, he walked over to the counter looking more relaxed than earlier.
This is what I have to do, no point panicking
Leaning against the the green counter, pen and paper in hand, Chandler only just realised he didn't know what to write.
"What does someone write to the person they love more than life it self that they are running out of their wedding?" He asked himself, "Well there's only one thing to say"
Guessing that Joey or Ross would find the peice of paper before Monica, he wrote 'Tell Monica I'm sorry'.
With sheer determination Chandler pushed himself away from the counter, opening the door standing in front of number 20. Placing a hand flat on the door, Chandler started to lose himself in his thoughts.
I can't believe this is it, I'll probably never see Monica again but by the sheer possibility that I do she would hate me. I would never be able to hold her in my arms again, smell her hair which smelled like strewberries freshly picked thanks to her shampoo, never complete my plan for the future with her living in the suburbs with our kids and cat, I wouldn't let her get a dog and finally I will never be able to kiss her again but it's worth it. I can't let her have a miserable life when she's worth so much more than that. I better go before someone see me trying to leave, goodbye Monica I'll miss you.
AN: Hope you enjoyed. Please review, for my last story I didn't get any not even one so thats why I think you all hate it and how can I improve without any reviews.
