How much do I need to self harm myself to feel? All I want to do is feel and I can't. After dad died, it was like my soul shattered into a million pieces and broke into half. I tried to hide the marks from Prim, keeping long sleeve shirts on whenever I went to school and saw my friends. But the pain was still there.
My name is katniss everdeen and I am a self-harmer. I go to district 12 high school along with my friends. No one knows my seceret. It is my hidden shame.
"prim, it's time for school." I said to her as I got dressed for the day.
"okay." she said, finsihing her braids and smiling at me.
I gripped her hand and squeezed it tightly. Prim was th eonly thing that made me happy in life. Mom wasn't really around anymore so I tried to do the best I could.
At school the only time I felt alive was during music class. I would sing whenever I could and feel okay again. Rue said I had a nice voice. That was good.
At lunch, I kept to myself today because I didnt feel like sharing with anyone. I was pratically depressed today and my wounds were aching. I sat outside under the tree, eating my lunch quietly. Prim was having fun with her friends and I didnt want to bother her.
"hey" I looked up to see peeta. I knew peeta only briefl, through, In art class. He was very talented but I wasnt sure why he was talking to me.
"oh hey," I said to him, taking a bite out of my apple.
"Mind if I sit here?" "No not at all." I said, scotting over so he had some room.
"I was wondering If I could ask you for a favour?" he said.
"Sure." I said, a little wary.
"Well you know how the teacher assigned us that sketching project?"
I did. Art was not my best subject and the thought of a sketching project filled me with dread.
"I was wondering if you'd..you'd want to be my model?" he asked almost shyly.
O I was taken aback, "Really? Me?"
"Yeah. Sketching people is still a challenge for me and I need a model, if you don't mind," he smiled a little.
I took another bite of my apple and rubbed my covered arms self conciously.
"Uhm, sure, I suppose." I said.
"Great." he said.
"OOH loook" came a teasing voice and my head shot up to see Clove and Glimmer, the two girls in gym vlass I just couldn't stand, "katniss and peeta are cozying up to each other"
clove and glimmer never got along with me since I beat them in archery. I couldn't stand them. They thought they were so hot and wonderful, it drove me crazy.
"Just ignore them," Peetsa said to me, and then stood up, "I'll give you a call? What's your number?" he took out his phone and I told him my cell number which he typed quickly, "Ill give you a call okay, katniss? Thanks again."
He left and I wondered what I had gotten myself into.
