(A/N: This is to shut up everybody who says I can't criticize them because I have no stories. I don't care if it sucks, this proves I have stories. Let the music play!)

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It was snowing at the Bobobo house, and everybody was asleep, except for one restless boy adorned in a black shirt with skulls, a long-sleeve gray shirt underneath, and classic blue jeans. He was clearly emo.

"Not emo!!" the emo--

"My name is Gasser!!" 'Gasser' yelled in reply, somehow hearing the voice inside his head, but he stopped caring a few seconds later and continued looking out the window. He blew his gray-white bangs out of his scarlet eyes. He could not sleep, he didn't know why. Suddenly, a large orange ball with spikes came flying through the window, and right before it did, Gasser saw it and screamed, "HOW'D YOU GET OUT THERE?!" before the collision happened.

This strange entity was known as Don Patch, and he repeatedly jumped on top of Gasser, saying at a rapid-fire pace, "GassergassergassergassergassergassergasserGASSER!!"

Gasser, now very annoyed by Don Patch, threw him off and yelled in anger, "What?!"

Don Patch then got a newspaper from nowhere and replied, "Santa needs help! " as he pointed to a 'Help Wanted!' article for a mall Santa.

Gasser sighed and asked Don Patch, "You really don't know, do you?"

The clueless Don Patch looked at him confusedly and asked, "I don't even know what you're talking about half the time, emo boy."

Gasser, really annoyed at that insult, yelled, "I! Am! Not!! EMO!!" He then was able to calm down as he then replied, "No, I mean Santa doesn't exist."

Before either of them could do anything else, however, a postman walked up to the both of them and said, "Mail call," as he stuffed the mail in Don Patch's left eye.

Don Patch screamed in pain before pulling the mail out. The only mail was the exact same newspaper Don Patch just had, but with an update in the 'Help Wanted!' article. Don Patch read it excitedly and said to Gasser, again, at a rapid-fire pace, "Santafoundhelpsantafoundhelpsantafoundhelp!"

Gasser blinked a couple times and simply asked, "What?"

"Santafoundhelp!"

"Don Patch, enunciate!"

Don Patch then broke into tears and wailed, "I don't know what that means!" However, he immediately brightened up somehow and continued, "Oh, well, Santa found help!"

Gasser simply replied, now realizing the pop rock's previously incoherent speech, "Oh."

Don Patch asked Gasser excitedly, "Can we see him?!"

Gasser shrugged and replied, "Sure, why not? I have to go there tomorrow, anyway."

As Don Patch ran off, Gasser went into his bed and thought to himself, Finally, I can sleep. Wait, why couldn't I sleep before? I hate plot devices...

The next morning, Gasser woke up early and went down to meet Don Patch at the mall so they could see the nonexistent Santa. Oh, how little you know, emo boy.

"Hey!!"

However, when he got downstairs, his crush was already down there. He examined all of her body--perv-- her pink locks, passionate blue eyes, and her clothes. She had just gotten out of bed, the fact made obvious by her still being in her pink pajamas. She saw him and greeted, "Oh, good morning, Gas-can!"

At the sight of his crush, Gasser had a slight tinge of red on his face as he stammered in reply, "Uh, morning, Beauty. What are you doing up so early?"

She sighed happily and replied, "I was just too excited to get much sleep. Christmas is almost here. You?"

"Oh, I'm taking Don Patch to the mall to meet Santa."

"Where is he?"

"He left last night."

Beauty yelled, "He left that early?!"

Gasser chuckled weakly and said in reply, "Yeah, he couldn't wait."

Beauty smiled and asked nobody in particular, "Can't he ever be patient?"

They both laughed lightly before Gasser said, "I'd best go get him."

"Alright. See you later, Gas-can."

Gasser then left, and as he closed the door behind him, he smirked and said to himself, "This'll be interesting," as he had in his hands a large pillow, an even larger red coat, a red Santa cap, and a fake beard that almost looked real...

When Gasser had arrived at the mall, Don Patch was literally all over the place; there were eight of him! Gasser freaked out and screamed, "WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

One of the orange spiked balls, whom had a flower on his head, walked up to the adolescent and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Gasser stared at the clone speechless, thinking Don Patch had played around with a cloning machine again, until the normal Don Patch appeared out of nowhere and violently ripped the flower out of the fellow Don Patch's cranium. The Don Patch that used to have a flower in his head screamed in agony before turning into dust.

Gasser then started shaking Don Patch and asked him, "What's with all of these yous?!"

Don Patch replied, "They're not Miis."

"They're yous!"

"No, they're cousins!"

"Cousins?"

"Yeah, I just killed Lawn Patch. He has a flower on his head. And this is--"

However, Gasser wasn't going to listen to this, knowing anything might happen, and he sneaked away into a changing room with all the things I said he had earlier and am too lazy to list right now.

A few minutes later, Santa Emo in a Santa costume walked out, and he sat in his Santa chair on his big Santa butt, then a Santa elf--

"Okay, what's with you adding the word Santa to every noun in that sentence?!" Santa Emo so rudely interrupted.

"Stop calling me that!" No. Anyway, Don Patch was standing impatiently near the back of the line, and he could not hold still.

Suddenly, though, he was dressed as a hobo and started crying, "I wanna see Santa! He'll give me presents and love! Nobody else loves me! I just want presents! I JUST WANT LOVE!!" Feeling sorry for him, everybody let him move to the front of the line, and Don Patch sat on "Santa's" lap.

He greeted the impostor, "Hi Santa!" followed immediately by a rapid-fire speech of gibberish, no actual word present in the blasphemy, madness, Sparta, etc. Yeah, I've done it all before.

Gasser blinked a couple times and asked, "Could you repeat that, little... whatever you are?" trying to keep his guise by purposely not recognizing Don Patch.

Don Patch noticed something however: He pointed out, "Santa, why is your beard tied to the back of your head?"

Gasser began to get nervous, and he stuttered, "Uh... you see--"

"And why is your fat so rectangular?"

"Um..." At this point, Gasser began to sweat bullets--

"Bullets?! Where?!" Don Patch screamed in fear before hiding behind the chair. However, he asked from his hiding spot, "Oh, and why do you look like an emo Santa?"

This ticked Gasser off, and he erupted, "I AM NOT EMO!!" as he threw Don Patch through the wall. By some inconceivable force--more like my hate towards him--Don Patch had created an explosion upon contact with the wall, blowing Gasser's disguise clean off.

Gasser looked slowly down in fear at his disguise being blown to bits, but whoopdy-freakin'-doo for him, I didn't make him naked. He silently said, "Thank you..." at this, but then immediately saw the angry mob in front of him, and he instantly changed his mind, declaring, "Ah, crap."

Many things could be heard among the crowd, such as small children crying, adults crying, gruesome noises indicating people committing suicide, and people saying things such as, "Where's Santa?!", "This guy tried to impersonate Santa!!", "My childhood was a lie!" and, "The mall lied to us all!"

All the onlookers formed an angry mob, complete with the cliché pitchforks and torches and went into a blind fury, charging recklessly at Gasser. Gasser gulped, as he could see the bloodlust in their eyes. However, it seemed that a savior came, as a voice triumphantly called out, "23!!"

The man suddenly in front of Gasser had an even more violent look in his eyes, along with bizarre hair shaped like the number 23, a green shirt with an orange stripe, and blue jeans.

It was 23 Guy!! He came equipped with a bazooka like those army action figures, and he fired at the mall-goers, killing them all in a single shot, and leaving nothing behind!

Gasser sighed and quietly said to himself, "Never thought I'd be glad to see him..."

However, Gasser quickly changed his mind when 23 Guy punched him in the gut, knocking the air out of him. 23 Guy then disappeared.

Don Patch, who just got out of the hole in the wall, asked Gasser, "Where'd Santa go?"

Gasser smacked his own forehead and replied, bluntly, "There is no Santa."

However, a young man who was overhearing the conversation, knew otherwise. He had blue hair and wore a red long-sleeve shirt underneath a gray vest, an orange scarf, and black jeans, On top of his head was a peculiar helmet everyone asked about. He hated it when people did and usually hanged them for it.

The teenager walked up to them, and Gasser noticed him first. He told him without emotion, "Hi, Crosk."

"Hi, emo boy," Crosk replied. "Anyway, what are you talking about? There is a Santa! We'll go to the North Pole to prove it!"

At the sound of this, Don Patch enthusiastically cheered, while Gasser asked, "Wouldn't we freeze before we get there?"

Wouldn't you? Um... I mean... at the airport...

The airport was nearly empty, because it was FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS EVE, YOU IDIOTS.

"Hey! If anyone here is the idiot, it's emo boy!"

"Don't drag me into this, Crosk!"

"I wanna fight, too!"

The three then started to fight, until Crosk Sparta kicked Gasser into the wall, and he walked up to the ticket counter. "Two tickets, please."

Gasser looked at Crosk confusedly and pointed out, "There are three of us."

"I'm not getting you one because I don't like you."

"What?!"

"Yep! You don't deserve one!" With that, Crosk gave Don Patch his ticket, and they both went to their flight.

Gasser mumbled and bought himself a ticket, but for some reason, they charged him twice as much. I don't like him, muahaha.

However, there was not enough room on the plane for all 3 of them, so one of them had to latch on to the bottom of the plane. Gasser immediately chose Crosk. Poor Crosk.

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(Bah, other chapters coming soon enough. I've already written them. This is the only time Beauty will appear, so savor it if you're an obsessive fan of hers. Crosk and 23 Guy are both OCs of mine.)