Hey everybody this is a new one shot and that's what it's staying at but it just be my best one yet I call it the gift of Inari why do I call it that well you'll find out when you scroll down
The Gift of Inari
"I think I'm going to be sick" Naruto said feeling nauseous meanwhile in his head Kurama was laughing his ass off "Well this is what you get for getting into a drinking competition with Tsunade"
"It was a moment of weakness" Naruto said to his Biju friend "and besides I won didn't I"
"You may have won but you're paying for now find that pink haired friend get her to see if she can do something"
"Yeah good idea I think she's near the bridal chambers with Hinata"
You read that right Naruto Uzumaki future hokage and one of the world's saviors was getting married to the love of his life his Byakugan princess Hinata Hyuga soon to be Uzumaki
Naruto walked by when he didn't sense Sakura but he heard a noise coming from the bridal chamber for some reason it sounded familiar but he couldn't place it
"Oh no" Kurama said because he DID know what that noise was but before he could tell Naruto to stop he had pressed his ear against the door "Oh gods never stop Hinaaaaaaaaaaaata" a woman shouted
"I never will beloved believe me I never will" Hinata said there was what sounded like grunting before she and the other woman both screamed
"We'll continue this later Reisu Koi I have to get ready" Hinata said
"Hai for your wedding to him I don't understand why you're going through with this Hinata Hime"
Naruto didn't feel nauseous anymore now he felt like his heart was lead he backed away from the door and ran off bumping into Sakura "Hey Naruto Lady Tsunade mentioned you had a drinking contest with her last night do need me to look at you"
"No" Sakura saw the look in Naruto's eyes and put a hand onto his forehead "Naruto are you ok"
"No" Naruto said walking past his pink haired best friend and far far away from his wedding
The day that was supposed to be the happiest of his life became the worst he just wanted to walk away
Naruto eventually found himself on the Hokage monument a couple of people tried to get him to move Lee Kiba heck even Sasuke had shown up and tried dragging him to Ichiraku's but he didn't move
Hinata had cheated on him had been cheating on him and with a girl Reisu Naruto briefly remembered a girl named Reisu in their graduating class as one of the girls who beat him up when he kissed Sasuke
"Typical tactic crush on the most attractive person of the opposite gender when you don't want people to know your gay"
"Not helping Kurama"
"I guess it won't make you feel better that she can have kids with her mistress if she wants"
"You heard them I was the mistress and wait what" Naruto asked when he heard what Kurama said "they can't do that can they"
"Oh yeah Hamura was super gay I think his mother scared him off girls to be honest"
"So the whole Hyuga clan was started by two guys" Naruto asked Kurama nodded Naruto began laughing "that's hilarious I mean Pompous Snobby Hiashi is the descendent of dudes" Kurama was laughing too the stern and mean head of the Hyuga clan was the descendent of dudes was hilarious
Naruto did stop laughing "I still don't feel good"
"Yeah sorry Brat" Kurama said "thanks Kurama" Naruto looked back up at the night sky and saw a shooting star but it was getting close and closer heck it was flying right at them
"Kurama are there any other Otsutsuki's I should know about" Kurama shook his head the star kept flying at them but then it stopped in front of the monument casting a pale blue light over the village below
The star changed and shifted before it became a man with red hair wearing a white kimono
"HELLLLLOOOOOOOOO NARUTO UZUMAKI OR IS IT NAMIKAZE I'M NOT ALL THAT SURE"
"STOP SCREAMING PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP"
"YOU STOP SCREAMING"
"NO YOU STOP SCREAMING
"WELL BOTH STOP SCREAMING ON THREE ONE TWO FOUR THREE"
They both stopped screaming "well that was fun you really are entertaining aren't you Naruto"
"Ok who is this guy" Naruto asked
"Oh how rude I mean you already met someone with my name I am the great god Inari"
Naruto didn't look impressed "no you're not"
"Of course I am"
"I've met plenty of 'gods' and none of them were gods so go away 'Inari' or whatever your name really is"
Inari snapped his fingers and Naruto was turned into a goldfish Inari picked him up by the tail "you were saying Naruto"
"I get it you're a god change me back" Naruto tried saying but all that came out was fishy sounds and gasping he was out of the water and couldn't breathe
"Good boy" Inari said turning him back into himself "Now then I bet your wondering why you're here the truth is I came to offer you a gift"
"Why" Naruto asked Inari started laughing "because my dear boy your entertaining I mean how many mortals can say they fought the shinju Kami Sama you really screwed up there"
The sky rumbled and Inari made placating gestures "in the most omnipresent and benevolent way of course" Inari rolled his eyes "the boss is really nitpicky now then you don't have a bride"
"Don't remind me"
"But do you still want one" Inari turned into two people "all that good stuff love marriage and the baby carriage" he said turning in to the stuff as he said it
"Of course I do why would I want to be alone forever"
"Smart boy now I'll send you somewhere far away where you won't get any hero worship for oh say a month you get your dream girl and of course you don't get something for nothing"
"What do you want" Naruto asked
"Oh not much" Inari said floating upside down and picking his nose "just your six paths chakra"
"My chakra but I earned that"
"Technically it was given so unless you want to be alone for the rest of your days gimme gimme gimme"
"Fine" an orange orb appeared in Inari's hand "thank you"
"Wait why are you doing this" Inari smiled "because your entertaining I ignore the boring people but mortals like you are fun if I did nothing you'd of probably ended up with the bun haired girl"
"wait Tenten likes me" Naruto asked but instead of an answer Inari snapped his fingers and Naruto was gone "give my regards to agent P and doctor D"
Naruto appeared in the middle of the air "Kurama I don't like him"
"agreed" Kurama said before they both began falling down towards a high way Naruto looked up to see two lights "I see the light at the end of the tunnel" he said before he got hit in the head and fell into blissful unconsciousness
"Oh ow my head" Naruto groaned feeling a lot of pain in his head the damn monitors beeping wasn't helping Naruto felt a weight on his chest opening his eyes he saw an animal he never saw before staring at him
"Kurama you see it too right"
"I see it" Kurama said "what did this dimension do to that poor beaver"
"I think it's a duck" Naruto said "or it was at one point poor creature"
It then made a weird noise with it's mouth
"I'm even more confused now" Naruto said a woman came in and picked up the beaver duck thing Naruto still wasn't sure what it was "How'd you get in here Perry" she asked
Naruto took the time to notice her she was pretty with red hair falling to the top of her neck and a triangle shaped nose she wore a white lab coat over a yellow and white striped shirt jeans and shoes
"Oh you woke up sorry about hitting you with my rocket car" she said holding out her hand "I'm Penelope and this is Perry"
"Naruto Uzumaki" he said taking her hand and shaking it "uh what happened to Perry"
"Not much he's a platypus they don't do much anyway welcome to S.H.E.D"
Naruto looked around and saw a gigantic laboratory and that's just what he could see from the little corner he had been tucked into "This is a shed" Naruto asked a loud
"Relatively speaking" she then checked some vitals "you seem to be healing though to be honest I'm surprised you're still alive after taking a blow to the cerebellum at Mach 4"
"Sarah what" Naruto asked before he stood up "look thanks for checking me out but I've gotta go"
Penelope tried to keep him in the bed "are you sure let me make sure your alright please I feel a little guilty for hitting you with my car"
"Naruto you should stay" 'why should you heard Inari we only have a month here how am I supposed to find my soul mate in a month"
"Look around you idiot this girl is a freaking genius she could probably find a soul mate for everyone in Konoha that and"
'And what"
"I'm a little curious about the Platypus thing I find it hard to believe something like that doesn't do much"
Naruto let himself get pushed back into bed "good my brother's finished with a job in Switzerland and is coming home tomorrow together we'll have you on your feet in no time"
"Your brothers that good a doctor huh" Naruto asked Penelope the triangle nosed girl smiled "we're the best"
While Naruto was asleep Penelope sat down in a chair she turned on her computer and pushed a few keys an X ray of Naruto came up showing all his systems nervous skeletal circulatory chakra
Well Penelope didn't know what the last one was and was fascinated by it his body was built almost like one of the Avenger's refined and hardened muscles everything about him seemed like a soldier
So why was he here was he an alien or someone who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time
Penelope opened her video chat and contacted Ferb her brother blinked at her "Hey Ferb how far are you from S.H.E.D"
"Not far why did you find a new project" well he didn't say it but after so many years Penelope could translate all of her brothers expressions "Yeah hurry back you're gonna love this one"
Ferb blinked and closed the chat Penelope then typed in a series of code a file of projects came up
Economic Reform Haiti done
Orbiting Olympic Stadium done
Trans-Oceanic highway done
Painting Australia postponed
Prehistoric Wildlife Preserve done
Get birthday present for Candace done
Penelope then typed in a project Naruto Uzumaki unknown energy source study "I know what I'm going to do today"
Naruto had let himself get checked out by Ferb "to be honest you're as healthy as horse are you sure you hit him with your car"
"Yeah his head dented the bumper" Ferb blinked and walked off "he doesn't talk much does he"
During the whole checkup Ferb had only asked the one question Penelope smiled "he's a man of few words now I'd like to ask you something"
"Shoot"
"That energy source flowing through your body what's it for and could I maybe have a sample"
"You mean my chakra it's made naturally and what do you mean sample"
"I want to study it maybe reproduce it artificially"
"Ok sure but um could you help me with something" Naruto asked Penelope nodded "sure"
"Uh could you help me find my soul mate" Penelope looked surprised at getting such a girly sounding request but in the end nodded "sure I'll build an AI with the appropriate paramaters"
"Thanks Penelope Chan"
Naruto spent a week with Penelope and Ferb she showed him a lot of things pictures of her friends some of their old projects whenever Naruto thought she couldn't do any better she proved him wrong showing an even more impressive project
"This stuff is amazing you spent your summers just building things" Naruto asked Penelope nodded "yeah Ferb and I made the most of our days"
She had taken him to a Mexican Jewish restaurant owned by her friend Isabella said friend brought them their food personally
"showing off for your boyfriend Pen" she asked putting down their food Naruto choked and Penelope blushed
"Boyfriend we just met a week ago"
"Yeah and she hit me with a car" Naruto said pointing at her Isabella laughed
"her friend isn't wrong you do like her"
'Shut up Kurama' Naruto thought
"Don't deny it you like her heck you maybe even LOOOOOVVVVVVVE her"
'I will tighten that seal so tightly you won't be able to see your nose' Naruto threatened
"what ever you say lover boy"
"Hey Naruto I want to show you something" Penelope said she took out of her pocket something that looked like a pocket watch "it's a romance detector it'll show people you can romantically be involved with"
"Really Thanks Pen Chan" Penelope nodded with a smile "happy to help the chakra you gave me is amazing to study"
Naruto picked up the detector it glowed red before an arrow pointed at Penelope she snatched it back "oh sorry must not be done yet"
"Oh no problem"
Penelope blushed "it shouldn't have gone off with me I don't like Naruto" do I she asked herself
Naruto was fun he liked learning and she liked showing him things some times it was like talking to a kid others he was so wise
Penelope went about trying to fix what she saw was wrong with the detector but every thing she saw was working perfectly she threw it in frustration Ferb caught in and put it down
"tell him how you feel" he told her actually told her Penelope got up and headed to Naruto
Naruto sat down under a tree "oh hey Naruto" Inari said appearing in front of him "ready to go"
"What are you talking about you said I had a month"
"you did but now you don't the boss got all up in my case so I'm sending you home now you have your girl"
"No I'm not ready give me more time" Inari shook his head and snapped his fingers and Naruto was gone Penelope looked shocked all that was left of Naruto was his headband
Naruto was miserable but he hid it well as Sakura and Sasuke became husband and wife Naruto clapped with everyone else congratulating the bride and groom Sakura walked over to him
"You look like you need a dance" she said "I'm fine Sakura Chan"
"Naruto Uzumaki dance with me or I'll pound your head in" she threatened Naruto nodded and let Sakura pull him up and into a waltz
"I'm sorry they came" Naruto knew who she meant in the weeks he had been gone Hinata had moved her relationship with Reisu into the public eye heck the two had been married and
"It's fine Sakura Chan"
"It's not fine she hurt you Naruto she used you and then cast you aside like old garbage"
"I don't care anymore" Naruto told her "I met someone else"
Sakura smiled "really where is she I can't wait to meet her"
"She's not here"
Naruto felt a hand tapping on his shoulder Naruto turned to see Penelope in a strapless orange gown "Pen Chan" Naruto said breaking away from Sakura and wrapping his arms around her
Naruto looked into her black eyes "how'd you get here"
Penelope smiled "just a trans-dimensional gateway homed to your genetic structure" she said giving him his head band "I wondered where that went"
"Yeah so congratulations on getting married" she said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes
"Oh he's not my husband" Sakura said pointing at Naruto Penelope smiled "Oh uh well you see before you left there was something I wanted to tell you"
"Sure what"
"Well you see I uh I'm sorry I'm usually better with words Naruto I- Naruto interrupted hey claiming her lips against his Penelope smiled before she returned the kiss wrapping her arms around his neck the music stopped by the time they broke apart
"was that you meant" Naruto asked Penelope smiled "Yes yes it was" she said before they kissed again Naruto thanking the gods for the gift of Inari
is there is a fem Phineas and Naruto pairing this idea I went through a lot of girls mostly red heads before I came up with this one
Did I put an Thor reference yes yes I did
Is the romance cheesy possibly but I think I did I did a good job give me a review faves or whatever else
