disclaimer: i don't own eyeshield 21
title: Glasses
summary: You're not an idiot, idiot, so stop acting like an idiot.
dedication: bff because you're convincing me to watch psycho pass and i really want to but it's too fucking long
notes: can i say that i ship everything...make no mistake i don't particularly ship hirutakami but i just...i just...writing crack is fun okay, and like i said, i ship everything...especially hirusena, shinsena, kind of juusena, kakeisena, mizusena, agonsena, hiruagon, pretty much everything except montasena and kind of maybe hirumamo (yep, never ship the straight ones)
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Takami looked pretty smart on the outside, but probability that he was actually pretty fucking stupid was around 95%. Or maybe, everyone looked stupid to Hiruma.
They were having a two person slumber party (shut up, it wasn't a date) and Hiruma'd brought up the subject of his glasses. "Why the fuck do you wear standard glasses in a heavy-contact sport like Amefuto?"
"That guy on your team," Takami said, snapping his fingers, trying to think of the name. "The guy with the two brothers."
"Always says 'Huh?!'" Hiruma supplied helpfully.
The glasses-wearing quarterback nodded. "He wears glasses."
"They're sports glasses," Hiruma scoffed. "One shove from the fucking fatty and glass shards could blind you."
"Oh, come on," Takami retorted. "I have a helmet." Hiruma just sneered at him, finger absentmindedly stroking his gun. Huh, so he thought Kurita could smash through a helmet? On second thought, that was starting to sound more and more plausible. "Well, fine. Wearing those goggle type glasses would effectively ruin the reason I wear glasses."
Forget 95%, Hiruma was pretty sure Takami was 100% idiot and then some. "People wear glasses to see, fucking idiot."
"And some wear glasses to look sophisticated, mature, and sexy," Takami replied, pushing the bridge of the eye wear up. "Like me."
"Take them off."
For a moment, Takami didn't know if he was talking about his clothes or his glasses. "No way." Either one, the answer worked out for him. Hiruma raised an eyebrow at him.
"Fucking glasses, take the glasses off now."
Sighing, the other quarterback complied, figuring that the privacy of his own room was enough to ward off anyone else's eyes. With a maniacal cackle, Hiruma snatched the glasses and pocketed them, triumphantly patting his pockets. Takami rubbed his eyes confusedly, feeling it strange with nothing on his face, then lunged at Deimon's master trickster, hands grabbing at the pockets of Hiruma's black pants.
"Stop trying to fucking rape me." Hiruma rolled his eyes. "What kind of host are you, fucking glasses?"
"Well, if you'd please hand me my glasses," Takami insisted, searching through Hiruma's pockets to no avail. The green eyes of his counterpart gleamed with amusement.
Hiruma's eyes darted to the bed and Takami stared in horror as he raised his current favorite firearm to his shoulder. "No can do," he cackled, then shot.
"Hiruma, no!" Takami half screamed and tried to saved his glasses from the gunfire. They were already splattered against his disturbingly clean yet off white walls, melted by some mysterious substance in the bullets. He could only hope they wouldn't melt the walls as well.
"Too late."
"That was my favorite pair!"
"Suck it up."
"Oh, you think I'm an idiot, do you?"
"I never said that, fucking idiot."
"You just did!"
"Just forget about your fucking glasses; you look sexier without them."
"..."
"Kekeke!"
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i don't even know takami's character so help me
