Hey guys. I feel really depressed and I'm just sitting here in my ELA class being bored out of my skull. This will turn into an actual story, but I randomly wrote this and I was super proud. My next chapters will be betaed, but this one isn't because I'm to impatient. Still, be sure to check out goshinote, my awesome beta. And just to clear this up, this is kinda like a previeqw chapter. The whole story won't be written weird like this i swear.
Every breath is a battle, every breath is a war
And guess what? I don't think I'm winning anymore
At a glance, she's fine. At a glance, she's great. Out of the corner of your eye, she shines brighter than the brightest star.
But take a moment and look closer. Take a moment and search beyond her mask.
Because if you truly cared, you would notice the absent gleam in her eye; maybe even the slouch in her walk or the careful way she hides her arms. Perhaps you'd notice the warmer clothing, even if it was summer. You might even possibly see the glistening tears that lie dormant under a wall of pain.
You'd see how she loves someone, someone dear. Someone who is her last hope, the final light in the darkness.
You'd know how little does he know, when he lets go, she falls. She falls deeper and deeper, consumed by despair, swallowed by her pain.
You might understand her nightmare.
She begins to brace herself, slowly rebuilding the firm walls around her heart;
But he draws away, just like everyone else. He's just another fish in the sea, unable to stay, unable to love her. And so she constructs her limits, blocking them out. She can't let somebody touch the cracked lump of her heart, for fear it will break.
She's scarred and broken. She's held together by the gleaming tape. But all tape loses it's stick sometime, and hers is beginning to wear down.
She struggles to hold on, to keep her love with her. Because no matter what her demons tell her, she knows that falling can't lead to good. She knows that once she decends, she can't come back up. She knows…
So she tells him. She expresses her fear and she lets him know. But just as she feared, he leaves. He's overwhelmed and hurt; he never saw this other side of the girl he once believed to be perfect.
There's someone out there for everyone.
But not everyone is out there for someone.
That night as she holds a metallic handgun to her skull, just like she has done many times in the past, she whispers gently,
The demons are back and stronger than ever. They are looking for a fight, looking to win, and this time, I just might let them.
