A/N Just something I came up with. Short, but bittersweet.


Jake,

By the time you get this, I'll be gone. We have to leave, before... before it's time. I guess that's not important to you. Dead is dead, right?

I don't want to be dead to you Jacob. It scares me, more then anything. I'd say I wish it could be different, but I don't. This is the only way for me. This is fate. I just wish it could be different for us... but I know that's not possible. I know that I'll probably never get to speak to you again. That's why I had to write. I have to lay it all out on the table, to offer you what little I can. I have to get it all out now, while I still have the chance. An eternity's worth of emotion squeezed onto a couple sheets of stationary. You'll probably throw it away unopened.

I love him. Desperately, insanely, unequivocally, eternally. And I know that hurts, but it's important. You need to understand that Jake, for me. I can't live without him. Physically can't. You of all people should know that... But that's not even all of it. Because I know that if I were to choose differently, to stay human, then one day I would die, and when that happened he would do his best to follow me. And the thought of that, of him not existing anymore, is the worst kind of pain imaginable, worse then anything else. It's indescribable. I can't let that happen.

I wish I could just leave it like that. I wish it could all be summed up just like that, and I could sign my name and seal this up and send it away. Simple. Except it's not simple. It's never been simple with us, has it? It's funny, I used to think you were the simplest thing in my life. It was easy to be with you. Natural. I guess that should have tipped me off... You can't blame me for not noticing. I've only been in love once, and it hit me so hard and fast and all-consuming that... well, it's no wonder someone as inexperienced as me didn't notice the slow-building kind, the kind that's supposed to happen. I'm sorry. Because I really do love you Jake. And there's a part of me that will always love you, that will always be suffering because I can't have you, and because of the pain I've caused you. I know that's not fair, but it's the truth. It's the best I can offer at this point.

I want you to forget about me. Not for me - I'm terrified by the very idea of it. It kills me. But that pain is outweighed by my desperate desire for you to be happy. God, I want it so bad. Because there's hope for you, I know there is. There's someone out there who can love you the way you deserve... the way I'm too weak to. And you're going to meet her one of these days, and your whole entire existence is going to change. Gravity moves, right? It's the one thing I want. The last thing. Think of it as my last wish, if you want. Just promise to do that for me Jake. Promise to forget me.

And I promise not to forget you. I promise that, for the rest of my life, from now until eternity, I will never, ever forget you. I love you Jacob Black. I promise.

Bells