Binas: This has no connection to Lost at Birth in any way. I may joke a few times but this is completely separate. Let's say this story will make a(n) iron butt/butt monkey out of almost everyone. In addition, this story takes place after 'D-Stabilized' and Vlad fixed his equipment. Oh and also this story was inspired by the stories Experiment 101 (Pure Naruto fanon) and Jiraiya's EXCITING experiences in the 21st century (Another pure Naruto fanon). So check out those stories! They are both by mwaha123. So let's get this story on the road!
This will be a plot bunny one shot. So if you want more, you will have to do your own take on this.
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Jiraiya was peeping on some women who were playing in a waterfall. He giggled like he hit a jackpot when he saw their stuff was almost the size of Tsunade's. He kept on peeping until he couldn't stare no more due to his eyes needing to blink.
"So much! Who knew someone could have them that big?", Jiraiya said, "No where else can have this paradise!"
Behind Jiraiya, green smoke leak from a green portal. The smoke formed into an Arabian genie with long black hair, stuff that was bigger than Tsunade's, gold bracelets on each arm, a midriff revealing top, and a ghostly tail.
"Oh I wish I could see more lovely ladies!", Jiraiya said not knowing who was behind him until it was too late.
"So you have wished it, so it shall be!", the ghostly genie said as her hands clapped together, thus summoning her power and sending Jiraiya away.
Jiraiya woke up on something hard and rough. Almost felt like the streets that ran through the Hidden Leaf. He opened an eye to see he was on a weird looking road that went up to a mansion. He got up and ran towards the mansion and knocked on it with haste.
A man that was at least ten years younger than him, with thinner white hair in a smaller ponytail, blue eyes, and a black business suit.
"What do you want? I'm in the middle of something!", The man said irritated.
"I'm am a bit lost. I need some help to figure out where I am.", Jiraiya said.
"You are in Wisconsin at my mansion.", The man said.
"Uh what's Wisconsin?", Jiraiya asked.
If the man had a glass of water when Jiraiya said that, he would be doing a spit take.
"Butter biscuits! How could you not know the state you are in?!", The man asked.
"I am sure I'm in perfectly fine state.", Jiraiya thinking of some other meaning.
"NO! NO! NO! State, as it a region of this country!", The man said in irritability, "Who on Earth do you think you are-?!"
Jiraiya cut him off and started a dramatic pose. The man looked in curiosity.
"I'm the hermit of Mount Myoboku. That is right. It is I, the Toad Mountain Sage, Jiraiya!", Jiraiya shouted and summoned a horse sized toad and stood on top of it making more poses.
The man winced.
'What an oaf! He's worse than Jack Fenton! But how peculiar... He made a toad appear out of no where. Not a very smart move to show off your talents in public though.', Vlad thought.
"Well, I'm Vlad Masters. The riches man in the world.", The man said trying to be friendly despite the similarities to Jack.
"Well do you have any Hot Springs or Public Baths around here?", Jiraiya asked out of the blue.
Vlad looked at Jiraiya if he had slept under a rock for years.
"Uh no but we do got some public pools.", Vlad said.
"Great! Take me there!", Jiraiya said.
Vlad was NOT amused at how Jiraiya stared and giggled at EVERY single woman he saw. Eventually Jiraiya developed a few nose bleeds and started jotting things down in a note book.
'Scratch that, he's nothing like Jack. This guy is an eccentric pervert! How disgraceful!', Vlad thought bitterly.
Jiraiya ran up to a woman with large assets and tapped her shoulder.
"Hello lady... Do you come from the red light district?", Jiraiya asked.
The woman got very angry and slapped him.
"You lousy pervert!", The woman shouted, "Go somewhere else to hit on people!"
"I'm not a lousy pervert! I'm a... SUPER PERVERT!", Jiraiya shouted which made Vlad go into utter shock.
'He's now on my list of people to eliminate. First it was Jack, now it's this pervert! It's only a matter of time before he hits on my Madeline!', Vlad thought.
Jiraiya once again summoned the toad and posed with it. The woman stood there in disbelief before running away screaming. Soon other women were leaving the pools. Some of the men were glaring at Jiraiya for scaring away their wives and came up to Jiraiya to beat him up.
Jiraiya made a few hand signs quickly.
"Earth Style: Dark Swamp!", Jiraiya shouted and a gigantic swamp formed.
The swamp was thankfully small and shallow, enough just to scare the husbands away, but not harm them past a few scratches.
Vlad was shocked even more but also disgusted that Jiraiya could make a swamp of all things!
"Disgusting!", Vlad said.
Vlad looked up to see that Jiraiya got ride of the swamp but left a small amount of hair. Vlad got a sneaky idea and rushed home to his lab to use his fixed equipment.
Jiraiya had no idea how far he had gone, all he knew he was doing was chasing cute women at every corner. Eventually he heard someone yell.
"Aw come on! How many times have I stuffed you in the Thermos already?! I have homework you know!"
"BEWARE! FOR I, THE BOX GHOST, WILL NEVER BE TRAPPED IN YOUR CYLINDER OF DOOM AND YOU SHALL NEVER GO AGAINST THIS HOMEWORK!"
Jiraiya sweat dropped at the name that was shouted out.
'Who the heck names their child 'The Box Ghost'?', Jiraiya thought, 'Then again...'
"JUST GET IN THE STINKIN' THERMOS!", The other voice shouted.
"BEWARE! I WILL COME BACK FOR YOU!"
'Seriously?! This is ridiculous!', Jiraiya thought as he ran to see a floating white haired teenager shaking a thermos violently.
"Hasta la Vista baby!", The teen shouted with a cheesy grin, "Back to the Ghost Zone with you for the millionth time today!"
The teen flew away leaving Jiraiya dumbstruck.
"Okay, where the heck did I just wind up?", Jiraiya asked.
Jiraiya put up his Transparency Jutsu and followed the teen to a house with a weird contraption on top.
'How on Earth does this house even stand with that thing on top?!', Jiraiya thought as he entered.
The house from what he could see had left over green stains on the walls, a repaired hole in the wall, and some standard living room stuff. He followed the teen into the kitchen, then the basement.
The basement had even more stains, tipped over beakers, broken inventions, partly finished inventions, fully made inventions, and blueprints. There was also a funky smell in the air that made Jiraiya pinch his nose. It turned out to be a moldy ham much to Jiraiya's disgust.
'This has to be the nastiest place in the world! I'd hate to find out that a kid lives in such a mess!', Jiraiya thought.
Jiraiya turned to see a giant contraption and the teen near it. The teen attached the thermos to the contraption and pressed a button. The doors opened up and he saw a blue guy in overalls and a hat swirl into the green vortex the doors had unveiled. The teen looked happy as the guy with overalls was screaming.
"I WILL GET MY REVENGE FOR I'M THE BOX GHOST!", The overall wearing guy shouted.
The teen rolled his eyes.
"Yeah yeah. Good luck with that. In the mean time, stay out of my hair.", the teen said.
A blue ring appeared around the teen and split in half before traveling in two opposite directions. The black jumpsuit became blue pants and a red and white T-shirt while the white hair became black. The glowing also went away. The teen then closed the doors on the contraption and started going upstairs.
Jiraiya released the Jutsu and pondered on what he witnessed.
"What have I gotten myself into? I'm such an idiot!", Jiraiya said face palming.
"Who's there?"
Jiraiya had been found. He sweated as he quickly ducked behind a table.
"Come out! I have this weird, invention, thingy and I'm not afraid to use it!"
Jiraiya kept calm as the teen started searching the lab. Jiraiya then got nervous went he saw he was in front of a broken mirror and saw the boy. The teen turned around and frowned.
"Nice try! I see you there!", The teen said holding a failed invention that looked pathetic.
Jiraiya stood up and raised his hands in defeat. He could not fight a child that posed no real harm to him. The teen gawked at him.
"An old man?! I was thinking someone else, but since when did life allow a weirdly dressed guy run around in my parent's lab?!", The teen asked.
"I'm not that old. I'm still the charmer!", Jiraiya retorted.
The teen winced.
"Great an old man who thinks he's a chick magnet! Dude you have really out lived your romance age...", The teen said slightly disturbed.
"I still got it in me! When you've reached the stature I have... THE LADIES... LOOK... AT YOUR AWESOMENESS!", Jiraiya crowed.
The teen stood there in shock.
"You might want to get a grip before I call Sam over here to use her combat boots on you.", The teen said.
Binas: And this is how far I could think... But, Vlad does make a female clone of Jiraiya at some point. So go ahead, take this thing up.
