Disclaimer: I don't own Lie To Me; and that's the truth.

Rated T for safety, I don't think it needs to be though ...

A/N: Tag to tonight's episode, 'Dirty Loyal', definitely. Couldn't resist writing it, because I kind of wanted to clock Cal int he head near the ending there; and it was so obvious that there was more going in Gillian's head. From her point of view, in the second person. Just another short one.

(I have a feeling I'll be writing plenty of angst-y fics in regard to Callian.)

Hope you enjoy!

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At the end of the day, you bite your lip and force yourself not to say what you so desperately want to say; all because it's not what he wants you to say.

You don't get it; you really don't. For a man who has dedicated the majority of his life to discovering the truth, he tells an awful lot of lies … and for what, in the end? A woman he hasn't known that long, with whom he's in a relationship of a certain nature; who knowingly looked the other way for years while her partner on the force failed in his duty to serve and protect.

I would do the same thing for my partner, he tells you, and isn't that just a little bit rich. Because you are his partner, you have been for years; and all you're asking of him is to stop protecting her, and stop lying. To give up the little charade he's got going on with her, and whatever else it may be, and start telling the truth.

You break down first, though. Sure, you start telling the woman from Internal Affairs that it's all a lie, almost everything she was talking about – but that doesn't last. You turn your statement around; spit out the fixed (for lack of a better term) version through nearly-clenched teeth. Because he asked you to; and that will always carry a certain pull with you that you're not willing to admit it does.

He would do that for you, you know, if you were ever in that kind of trouble … he's done things like it in the past, when you were in way too far over your head or you'd managed to bite off far more than you could chew. But at the moment it doesn't seem to matter what he's done or would do: it only matters to you what he wouldn't do now.

You want to say that it will change things. And it will to an extent, but not the way you wish it would. You'll still follow behind him and back him up, you'll still watch him walk away at the end of the day and wonder what it would be like to be leaving with him instead … you'll still reserve the right to judge the people he's involved with, the same way he reserves the unspoken – and reluctant, on your part – right to do the same to you …

And in the end, you'll still have no real say.

Because you've already said it; too many times to take it back, now.

You'll still smile and say goodbye and go your separate ways, the old but not nearly forgotten words about boundaries and rules bitter on your tongue, because that's the way it is with the two of you.

You'll still do it. You'll still suck in your stomach, tighten your lips almost undetectably and lie for him when he asks you to; because that's just the way it is, too, no matter how much it churns your gut or angers or upsets you.

And that's that, because that's all you've ever let it be.

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Reviews are love! Seriously, haven't had any reviews in this fandom yet ... and I'm wondering if I'm just that terrible at it, so please let me know whether I am or not! Thank you!