disaster


The Kinokuni Clan had insisted that the wedding day will be in the backyard of their wide house, using the shrine built by hired experts in the well-trimmed garden as the place where the ceremony will happen. They had also insisted that the wedding day will happen during spring, where the cherry blossoms and the gingko trees are in full bloom, creating a whole new aesthetic. Spring, of course, is tied to new beginnings, thus appropriate to the whole occasion. They insisted taking care of the venue, the food, the accommodations—anything and everything to truly make sure that the wedding will go off without a hitch. It's because of this carefulness and perfection on the wedding itself that the great Kinokuni Clan did not bother to analyze the ones who will get married.

Kinokuni Nene sits patiently on the chair brought out for her, gentle hands on top of her shiromuku and face slightly upwards so that the make-up artist can dab the powder properly. Her ashy green hair is up in a generous bun, while her eyes are such a bland ruby color as if she cannot be bothered with everything that's happening. Someone tells her to stand, so she does, and everything is heavy. Nene can feel the accessories hidden in her bosom, the short sword and the beautiful engraved box, and it does nothing but pierce her skin thoroughly. Someone passes her a gold fan and, finally, the wataboshi is placed delicately on top of her head. It rests like a crown, or maybe like a heavy burden, but Nene is a lady so she must be indifferent about all these things.

"Are you excited for your big day, Nene?" she hears her mother from her right.

"Of course, mother," Nene replies obediently. She digs her nails on the wooden frame of the fan, still staring straight ahead, not bothering to look back at the person she's conversing with. She tries hard not to think of anything else, praying that this will soon be over, quickly like peeling a bandage off.

"It reminds me of my own wedding," her mother trails off and soon is gossiping with the other women in the room. Nene does not know who they are, only that they helped her put on the kimono, and so she does not bother with their fleeting conversations and obviously exaggerated gimmicks.

She thinks, instead, of her own wedding that will start exactly five minutes from now.

And then, she hears hushing from beyond the door, almost faint considering the amount of women in the room, but it is there—panicking and dread. She hears the shuffle of feet from beyond that, hastily working their way around the house. There's a certain shout, followed by a quick shush right after. It sends a particular flurry of emotions in her heart as she wonders what's happening outside and if it has anything to do with the wedding today.

Her mother must have heard it too for she says, "Oh, what are they doing now?"

"The ceremony is about to start," someone else speaks up; Nene recognizes it as the voice who told her to stand. The person continues, "We should get her to the shrine already."

There's a wave of agreement, and then they're pushing Nene out of the door. Someone is already holding a large red wagasa over her and, of course, her mother's clutching her side, an excited grin on her face. The party walks to the garden, not far from the house itself, and Nene can see the shrine just a few steps from them. There is already a small gathering of people; these are the close family members because weddings are supposed to stay private.

Everyone smiles at her as she passes by; many are simply taken at the frail doll-like beauty that Nene possess and is accentuated by the make-up. Finally, she waits by the shrine and the Shinto priest with everyone else behind her.

Her heart is bursting and she wants to cry, but Kinokuni Nene is cool and composed, so she simply rests her eyes forward, waiting and waiting and waiting. She notices how the priest is furrowing his large eyebrows and the apprehension in his dark eyes as he looks over the crowd but she tries to ignore the warnings of her heart and stay as expressionless as ever.

There's a surge of whispers and mutters from among the room. She tries not to hear it, but it's shaking her entire core and she has to intertwine her fingers and bite her lipstick-covered mouth just to stop it. She swallows deeply, lets out a deep breath, and lets her eyes stay on a wooden column a few steps from her.

Everything comes to a stop when someone runs up to the shrine, breathing heavily, sweat dripping all the way down to their chin and exclaims the following words,

"Satoshi-kun is… is gone!"

Chaos ensued after.


Nene feels the pity from her mother as the older woman helps her out of her clothes, the gentle hands covering her small arms and smooth skin. Her mother is tearing up; eyes watering but not yet falling and Nene could tell that she's trying hard not to break down in front of her daughter. Nene also feels the pity from her aunt, the latter gently removing the make-up with precise hands and a wet napkin. Her aunt is frowning; a somber look on her face and Nene knows that her aunt is trying to ignore her sister's silent hiccups and careful sniffs. Nene feels the pity from her younger cousins as they clutch the shiromuku in their arms, eyes fluttering unsteadily at their older cousin. Her cousins are glancing at each other now and then, wondering what Nene feels and if they can ever help her.

No one can help her, though, and Nene has accepted it as a fact.

"I'll take a bath," Nene speaks up after a while, voice hoarse from not speaking in over two hours. Until now, the males are frantically searching for Isshiki Satoshi, but Nene knows that he won't be found unless he wants them to. It has taken that many hours for her mother to finally accept that the wedding is officially canceled, that every good wishes and congratulations are more so meaningless right now as before when it was once gratuitously thrown around.

"Oh, Nene," her mother struggles to speak, trying to find words to comfort her only daughter; her only child.

Nene pretends not to hear, and heads straight to the bathhouse with all the essential things. Everyone in that room watches her go, unable to say anything in comfort.

So, here is Nene, deep in the hot water of the bath, scalding herself with her harsh emotions. For a while, she stews in there in silence, watching the potted plant in the corner or the sudden humming of the water that's surrounding her. It takes a lot for Kinokuni Nene to break because she's a Kinokuni and the Kinokuni Clan isn't easily brought down by a sway of emotions, of distractions, of—

Finally, Nene breaks. She lets the salty tears run, the defeated wailing through, and her harsh emotions flow. They spill all over the bath, shaking and stuttering everything, but she's not yet done because she wants to let it all out, everything that she has caged since the beginning. From her losses to her defeats to the insecurity that has plagued her life—she lets it all out. She cries and cries and cries, while everyone else looks the other way, letting the heir of the Kinokuni Clan drown in her loneliness and her frustration.


"Nene, did you ever date someone?" Kobayashi Rindou says a year later, popping a green mochi in her mouth, looking over at her friend. Her golden eyes skim over Nene, trying to figure out what exact emotion will appear in her ruby eyes. It's a surprise to Rindou that there's only contempt.

"Not really, Rindou-san," Nene replies easily, choosing to eat the scone in front of her.

They're at a small bakery that Nene had recommended. The calming smell of bread and coffee had made Nene feel warm when she first stepped into the bakery. There's also the melodic sound of the piano playing in the background that creates such a serene environment. Not a lot of people are eating here, instead choosing to go straight to the take-out line so that they may bring the pastries home. Nene has spent many weekends in this particular bakery and, since she can safely call Rindou a friend of hers, she decided to introduce it to the velvet-haired woman when she visited with no notice.

"Eh~" Rindou drawls out, a smirk already forming on her lips. She's gesturing at the stream of people outside the café who are walking around aimlessly when she tells Nene, "Even here in a university where there's full of hot guys around? That's surprising."

Nene does not speak for a while as she drowns the scone with the glass of water beside her. Bluntly, she tells her upperclassman, "I'm not studying in a university to date someone."

Rindou puffs out her cheeks, leaning back to her cushioned chair. She crosses her arms under her breasts, emphasizing her cleavage, before proclaiming, "That's boring, Nene."

"It doesn't matter what you think, Rindou-san," Nene waves her off nonchalantly with a shrug. Her ruby eyes, if possible, have become even more bland and blank ever since the incident a year ago. She's become withdrawn, refusing to understand the pitiful eyes of her clan, and so she's here in Tokyo on her own, renting an apartment a few blocks from her university. Why Nene has chosen to pursue a degree when she could easily take over the kitchen is anyone's guess, but only her mother was supportive of her decision.

"Don't be so mean, Nene," Rindou hums, "After all, I'll only be in Japan for a few more days. Just have to finish something."

"I'm sure Tsukasa-senpai will be delighted when you visit him," Nene responds automatically, knowing internally just how important the two are in each other's lives.

"W-what?" Rindou stutters and, for a moment, a flash of embarrassment floods to her cheeks. Still, she quickly composes herself, shooting the smaller girl a glare before proving Nene wrong, "I was going to visit someone else, all right? Besides, I'm sure Eishi is all well and good."

The last part is said in a hurry and with such nervous tones that it makes Nene assume that the two have already met prior to this.

It creates a certain longing in her heart as she wonders if she'll ever feel like that as well.


He comes, of course, as an obnoxious knock on the door, past eleven in the evening, a few days after Rindou visited.

Nene had been studying for her upcoming exam, absently playing with her ashy green hair that she's let down for now. The light in her room is confidently buzzing and the humming of the wind occasionally caresses the windows. She gladly read the book on her desk, memorizing each line with painful accuracy and diligence because, at least, facts and figures rarely change—they simply exist.

By 11:26 pm, as stated by the clock right beside her school things, a knock on the door pushes her out from her study session.

She considers not opening the door, letting whoever the person on the other side stay all night because, honestly, who knocks on people's doors late at night? It can be a serial killer or someone else just as terrifying. Her neighbors avoid her if they can, and they're certainly not ones to go on knocking on people's doors for the heck of it.

Another knock shakes her awake from her reverie.

She's a bit nervous by now, wondering who's behind the door. She waits by her desk, already clutching her phone, ready to dial the police if anything happens.

The person knocks yet again, this time, unstopping and unrelenting. The knocks are now continuous and she's suddenly more annoyed than terrified. (She honestly thinks Kuga Terunori, that prick, is the one outside her apartment).

Harshly, she pulls open the door, irritation seeping in her veins. She's ready to give whoever the person is a piece of her goddamned mind, thinking of ways to pulverize a person.

But she stops because it's one face she never expected.

"…Isshiki?"


a/n: i've had such an overwhelming response on my last fic about these two, so i decided to make another story! this time with more romance in it haha. this story will probably go on about seven chapters, i think. i'm not proficient with japanese culture so if you guys think that there's something wrong/offensive, please tell me so i can fix it. hope you enjoyed this first chapter! :) see you in the next one!