Title: Ill-Fated Son
Fandom:
NCIS
Author:
Alidiabin
Words:
1,437
Disclaimer:
I own nothing
Warnings/Spoilers/Rating:
'Bait' | non-accidental death of a child. TW for not quite consensual sex | Teen/Adult.
Parings:
Ziva/OC
Summary: Ziva had once killed a child. Dark fic. Reader disgression advised.

Ill-Fated Son

After McGee had found that the movie Tony had borrowed the loop idea from was 'Speed' and the pizza was polished off, the end-of-case celebration wound down. Ziva drove home on autopilot.

The Kody Myers had been one of the hardest cases they had dealt with. Each member of them team had seen a piece of themselves in the case. McGee identified with the desire to blow up the classroom after bullying. Abby understood his fascination with death after the death of someone close to him. Tony saw himself in Kody's grief for his mother. Gibbs, saw a lost little boy and the supressed parent in him wanted to make it all better for Kody. Ziva had found herself with many conflicting emotions. On one hand she saw a teenager with a bomb and all the emotions and grief Tali's death flooded back. The bomber who had killed Tali and the other people on the bus had been the same age as Kody.

But when Tony refused to let SWAT take the shot at Kody, another memory flooded her. Even worse emotions came with it. She would have had no objections if Tony had decided to let them shoot Kody, as despite his age, at the point in the case he was just a potential bomber and they had to look beyond his years. As Ziva knew too well that children were malleable and when poisoned with someone else's radical ideology were capable of acts to rival adults. But as Tony refused, she felt a surge of guilt over a child she had killed.

XXX

It was one of her early assignments for mossad. She was chosen for her sex and her ability to look Palestinian. A terror cell leader named Mubin Qadir was looking for a Nanny for his motherless son Latif. Ziva was expected to infiltrate and gain Mubin's trust by any means possible, and get intel. The end game of the mission from the get-go was always going to be Mubin's death.

Mubin was smitten with Ziva from the moment she stepped hijab-clad into his lavish and well-guarded house.

"Welcome to my home, Miss Rana," Mubin uttered as she stepped into her personal space. Ziva blushed and stepped back. A little child no older than five was escorted into the foyer, by a man who seemed to take on the role of bodyguard. "And this is why you are here, this is Latif,"

"Salam Latif," Ziva whispered, as she bent down to greet him. The child smiled.

XXX

On the second night it became clear how Ziva was going to gain Mubin's trust. She was tucking Latif into bed, having spent the whole day with the bright child who seemed incapable of the evil his father participated in. Latif had fallen asleep when Mubin entered the bedroom.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair," Mubin whispered as he quickly moved from the door way to where Ziva stood. Ziva turned to face him. He pulled on her hijab.

"Not here," Ziva replied. Latif grabbed her wrist and whisked her out of the room.

She did everything she was supposed to. She refused at first claiming she did not want to destroy her family's honour. He reassured her claiming all of his female staff did it. Then she acted scared as he pulled at her clothes but eventually he got what he wanted. She tried to not gag as his sweaty body was pushed on top of hers. Or as his hands ran up her shirt. She closed her eyes and dreamed of a the golden sands of Haifa, her childhood holiday spot.

XXX

It did not take long until he revealed his secrets after Ziva slept with him. Ziva's goal was accomplished.

Her control officer came for a progress report posing as one of Rana's cousins.

"We have enough," Amit whispered as they stood outside. "It will happen tonight," Ziva gulped.

"Tonight?" she queried. "Don't we need more time? More intel?"

"No," Amit said, "I'll ask Mubin if I can stay after dinner saying I cannot possibly go home so late. And you need to take care of the child."

"I will hide him, yes," Ziva asked.

"No," Amit uttered, "You will kill him. We will do it humanely," he handed Ziva a packet of what looked like sweetener, "Put this with his tea when he goes to sleep."

You will kill him echoed in Ziva's head. Her training in mossad had led her to take human life at ease. But the lives she took were those of adults guilty of heinous crimes. Not innocent children.

"Now Hatim," Mubin called as he walked onto the patio, "Rana did not tell me what business you were in."

Amit's plan worked he got invited to stay and Mubin seemed very smitten with Amit's cover, a rich businessmen who despised Israel.

XXX

Ziva snuck off to give Latif his tea. It felt like there was lead in her stomach as she carried the mug down the hallway.

"Oh little one," she whispered as he lay in bed finishing his tea, "You are the meaning of your name."

"What?" the drowsy child asked. Ziva rubbed his thick brown curly hair.

"You're name means gentle and kind," Ziva replied with a soft radiant smile, "You are gentle and kind."

"I am five," Latif responded having not understood Ziva. "I tired,"

"Go to sleep. No one can hurt you when you are asleep," Ziva told him. She held his hand until he fell asleep. She tucked him in and put his favourite toys next to him. "I hope you find peace, little one."

She considered making a cup of tea with the special sweetener for herself as she watched the boy slip into his final slumber. She was unsure of how she would live with what she had done.

She wiped the tear in her eye before returning to Amit and Mubin in the dining room.

The next few hours went past in a blur. She responded to Amit's signals. She loaded the weapon he had provided for her and along with Amit shot every adult in Mubin's house, including the maids and guards, while little Latif slept on.

XXX

She found herself in the front seat on Amit's jeep with her hijab used as a bandage.

"What happened?" she whispered groggily.

"The bodyguard was in it until the end," Amit reported coldly,

"Wafai," Ziva replied. His name meant loyalty, and he remained loyal to Mubin until the end.

"You got caught in this crossfire, it's only a graze." Amit continued not responding to Ziva's comment.

"Everyone is dead?" Ziva asked thinking of all of Mubin's staff from Wafai to Nada. Nada had been Mubin's kind maid who adored little Latif.

"It is better that way," Amit replied.

"A child dying." Ziva cried as emotion swelled up inside of her. "Is that better?"

"It's better than him waking up to see the Nanny he trusted killing his father and the servants who helped raise him, that would create another terrorist to take his father's place." Amit replied calmly as they drove toward a checkpoint, returning them to Israel.

"Other men will take Mubin's place," Ziva retorted with an edge of sarcasm.

"And we have intel to get those men," Amit uttered, "We are at war and during wars lives are lost in order to save many more."

Ziva remained silent as they went through the checkpoint. The baby-faced solider raised his eyebrows at Ziva's makeshift bandage. Amit spoke to the solider and they were let through.

"Do you not think of Moar when you told me to kill Latif," Ziva asked. Amit recoiled at the mention of his infant son.

"Stop seeing your dead sister in that child," Amit finally said, "You must forget all that you have lost and all that could be lost if people like Mubin remain. What I do, I do it for my son, Ziva."

XXX

A few weeks later Ziva drove up to Haifa where her mothers and her sister's graves were. They were buried side by side with only three years between their deaths. Ziva was glad her mother Rivka had died before Tali, as the loss of little Tali would have broken her. Ziva was not sure if she believed in god or even a higher power but she believed in a better place. A place where both Ziva and Rivka had gone and that Latif had recently joined them.

"There is somebody you need to take care of," Ziva told their gravestones, "His name is Latif. Please tell him I am sorry."

A/N: The arab names in this fic are important according to Latif means gentle and kind. Hatim (Amit's cover name) means determined and desicive as he was about the mission. And the full name of the bad guy Mubin Qadir means clear, distinct and capable and powerful indicating that he was determined for his cause. Nada (Mubin's maid) has two meanings one of which is dew, the name Tali also means dew. Rana (Ziva's cover name) means eye-catching object. And just while we're on the subject of names, Amit's son's name Moar means light in Hebrew.