I don't own anything dealing with CSI, just having a little fun with the characters!
Spoilers: I suppose Goodbye and Good luck
A/N: Just a little something I came up with…if you guys like it, let me know and I can brainstorm some ideas for a sequel! HOPE YOU ENJOY!
A long distance phone call brings together a long overdue friendship
"Hey,
it's me. I'm sure you think that I'm calling because he told me to...well,
he um he didn't. I'm calling because well, I miss you. We
all
miss you and I just want you to know that whenever you do decideto
come home, we will all be here. I have a feeling I know some of the
reasons you left, but I'm not sure I understand them. I guess Gil is
the only one who really does. He loves you, you know. He is waiting
Sara,
and he will forever. If you need anything, you know who to call.
Be safe Sara, goodbye."
After listening to the message for the 4th time, Sara closed her phone and wiped the lone tear that had made its way down her cheek. She continued to stare out the window, and her thoughts once again drifted to the man that she left behind a month ago.
She believed he was the only man that would truly understand her reasons for leaving. After all, she had done the same thing for him. When he left, she had her doubts, who wouldn't; however, they had come so far up to that point, that she couldn't bring herself to believe she was really the reason for his leaving. So she let him go. She understood.
Now, a year later, she had to do the same thing. As much as she knew she had hurt him, she knew he would understand. Even after not giving him the real goodbye that he deserved, she knew that he would be there when she came back.
Sara slipped her phone in her pocket and headed down the hallway. On the way she stopped to look at the walls and remember the few pictures of her and her brother James that used to hang there so many years ago.
She remembered the blood stains on the wall and the exact spot in the wall where she herself had to re-plaster because her father punched right through it. Continuing on her way she made it to the living room and smiled at the owners. They of course had no idea who she really was considering she booked the room under the name Sara Grissom.
It was something she had to do. But she couldn't go through with it having people know who she was. She wouldn't be able to handle the stares and the pity she knew would come if people knew, but had to do this. She had to get this done in order for her and Grissom to have any chance of making it work. She couldn't stand to make them both suffer anymore waiting for her to snap. She owed it to him, to them to do this and give them hope.
She was on this journey to bury her demons and this was the place it had to be done. She had changed in the past month for the good and for the bad, but she had changed none the less.
She was less tired than she used to be, and she was becoming more open and forgiving. She had visited tombstones and screamed at them, cried and pulled up the grass around them. This was her way of getting over it. Slowly but surely, she was burring those demons.
Even while getting through this though, she missed Grissom. She missed sleeping in his arms each night, and cuddling on the couch on a Tuesday night and watching old silent movies. Granted they never really finished them because they would get distracted by better things; but either way she missed those nights.
Sara found herself down on the water's edge clutching her phone and for what seemed like the thousandth time, wanting to call Grissom. Tell him she was fine, that she was doing what she needed to do. But she couldn't, not yet. So instead she hit speed dial number 5 and waited.
"Hey!
How are you?"
"Cath,
don't say it's me, please, not yet."
"Okay,
don't worry, but how are you? Do you need anything, are you doing
okay?"
"Yea
Cath, I'm good, well better anyways. How are you, how is everything
back home? How is he?"
"He's
not doing great, but he's hanging in there. He misses you. He has
this shield up and he is telling everyone that he is fine (just like
someone else I know) but I can see right through it. I know that
everyday
he is breaking just a little more. He needs you Sara."
Hearing Catherine describe how Grissom was doing was bringing more tears to Sara's eyes. She missed him so much, but she had to keep doing this. She had to finish what she started, but she needed to talk to someone, so she kept talking to Catherine.
"Oh
God, I'm sorry Cath. I never meant to..."
"Don't
worry Sara; you are doing what you have to do. He understands.
I'm not sure how or why, but he gets you Sara, and he is waiting."
"I
know, I always knew he would. But Cath, I have a question for
you."
"Yeah,
anything."
"You,
you said that you thought you knew some of the reasons. How did
you..."
"Call
it mother's intuition or whatever, but I could just tell. You had
this glow about you, but I could tell you were scared. You were
happy,
but I could tell you were a little worried."
"I
was Cath, I still am. I mean, sure we talked about kids, but we
never
even came up with an answer. It was always just, 'we will get
through
it together if it ever comes up.'"
Sara
remembered the first time they had discussed the subject. That
afternoon
they had taken Hank for a walk to the park and a small girl came
running up to them. She attached herself to Grissom's leg and begged
him to push her on the swings. He looked so scared, it was adorable.
Later that night as they were lying in bed, the scent of sex
still looming in the air he finally spoke, "Sara, do you want
children?"
She froze; she didn't know what to say. To say yes and risk
him not feeling the same way would scare him off, but to say no
would
almost be a lie. So she said the only thing she could think of,
"we will get through it together if it ever comes up." It
was apparently
the right answer because he kissed the top of her head and pulled
her so close she thought he would never let her go.
"I
know you don't want to hear this right now, but you have to tell him
Sara, he has a right to know."
"I
know Cath, I do and I will tell him, just not now. I can't right
now."
"Sara..."
"No,
Cath you don't get it. If I call him now, if I hear his voice right
now, I will drop everything. I will run home to him and lose everything
I have been doing this past month. I can't Cath, not yet. I
owe it to him to finish this. He will understand."
"Okay,
I'm sure he will. I believe you."
"Thank
you Cath."
As Sara stared out at the ocean, she realized that that everything was coming together. She decided that after she got home, she would bring Grissom to this very spot on the beach and make him sit in the exact spot she was seated. She wanted him to see exactly where she was when she realized that everything was going to be alright.
"Hey
Cath, I um...I have to get going."
"Alright
Sara. Thanks for calling. You know that I am ALWAYS going to
be here for you. And just remember that we all miss you."
"I
know Cath, thanks for everything, you have no idea how much you have
helped me."
"Stay
safe, and take care of yourself Sara, both of you. We miss
you."
"Thanks
Cath, I will."
"Okay,
bye then..."
"Hey
Cath!"
"Yeah
Sara?"
"See
you soon."
Sara hung up the phone but kept the smile on her face. As she watched the sun setting she found a new love. A new love of a friendship that was long overdue. She knew that even though it was unspoken between the two women, that when she got home they would be closer.
She once again shoved her phone in her pants pocket and headed back up to the old Bed and Breakfast. She had a few more things to clear away before she headed home. Home, to the only man she has truly ever loved, and the new life that she was finally ready to live.
Sequel to this is currently being written, it's called "Coming home." I hope you all enjoyed this and continue to read the sequel! Thanks
