Author's Note: If you can guess where I got the title you are officially a VIR.

Come stop your crying, It will be all right
Just take my hand, Hold it tight

Spencer Reid shuffled the long since finished reports on his desk, the paper gliding through his hands comfortingly, as he glanced around the rest of the office with a heavy sigh. The room was empty of his team members and it was no mystery why. He felt the throb of worry in his mind increase substantially. Earlier that day Hotch, with his typical hawkish gaze, had informed the team that an Agent Lefevre would be joining the BAU under Chief Strauss's implicit request. Apparently the ratio of men to women in the team was 'unacceptable' to her fanatical feminist sensibilities. Spencer had finally managed to find his equilibrium within the team hierarchy and now it was very likely that it would all be for naught.

"Spence?" JJ's voice came suddenly and hesitantly from behind him. The sweet of her perfume, usually so comforting, just exacerbated his headache.

He could hear the wringing of her hands as she fiddled with the citrine stoned ring on her finger, "You know you have nothing to worry about, right?"

Spencer froze, then gradually relaxed his tense muscles and cursed himself for his transparency. He really needed to learn to guard his emotions more effectively if he was going to work with people who profile for a living. If he still had his job after this. "I don't know what you're talking about." He finally decided to say.

JJ continued as she hadn't heard him, "We're a family. Nothing'll change that." She paused and then encouraged with a definite smile in her voice, "You should go join the rest of the team in Garcia's lair. See you tomorrow, Spence."

As her foot steps faded away, Spencer slowly lowered his head into his hands. He honestly didn't know why he was so worried. He normally didn't put much stock in gut feelings; statistics and facts were far more dependable. But this feeling… It was so intense. He just knew his life was on the verge of a metamorphosis. It was going too well to get any better, so logically he knew it was about to get worse. And with the only change in the norm being Agent Lefevre, the logical conclusion was that it must be her fault. A number of texts came to mind but he thought the words of Euripides were most appropriate: 'What can we take on trust in this uncertain life? Happiness, greatness, pride - nothing is secure, nothing keeps.'

Well, he was never one to shy from the truth and his mother would be ashamed if he didn't at least attempt to brace himself for this oncoming disaster. 'To be prepared is half the victory'.(1)

With exaggerated slowness, Spencer dragged himself to his feet. As he passed by the vertical fortress-like windows he pondered what career he would pursue when his current occupation was terminated. Perhaps he could try his hand teaching? Or he could – no attempting withstand the thought of his impending banishment from his new family was impossible. They and his mother were all he had. Maybe he could take up permanent residence at the Bennington Sanitarium with his mother. At least he wouldn't be alone.

He shook the depressing thoughts from his overactive mind and assumed a vague look of contentment before pushing Garcia's door open. The room was just as bright and high tech as ever – troll dolls with deliberately groomed hair perched just as deliberately upon Penelope's many desks, fuzzy pens aplenty.

Afraid to be caught snooping, the team all guiltily jumped, Morgan and Prentiss on either side of Garcia, who was bent over one of her machines before they realized it was just him. "Pretty Boy! Finished sulking?" Morgan teased, a grin coming easily to his handsome a face.

Spencer flushed, but was spared the need to respond by Prentiss's scowling comment, "Oh leave him alone Morgan. The only reason you're excited is because the new Agent is a woman."

Morgan laugh held no shame, "What can I say? Another beautiful lady around here is just what the doctor ordered!" Spencer noticed Garcia's slight frown at the comment before she turned back to her screen. "What would my lovelies do without their tech kitten? No worries, the gossip highway is open and ready for business!" Her fingers were blurs of clacks as she manipulated her precious system.

"Do you guys really think it's ethical to dig into her past like this?" Spencer pointed out, stuffing his nervous hands deep into his pockets, though maybe if she had some dirty secrets... When did he get so underhanded? Desperation really didn't suit him.

Prentiss bit her lip, "We're not going to dig. We just want to find out her credentials, strictly professional." She slouched slightly from her place on the edge of Garcia's desk.

Garcia cackled girlishly, "Whatever you say my pretty!" The Analyst brightened further as a picture of a pretty red haired woman appeared on her screen. She was beaming at the person behind the camera, green eyes shining and hair glinting golden red in the sun. "Here we are! Agent Colette Lefevre, aged 25, born in Bedford, Virginia and absolutely adorable! Uh-oh, seems we've got ourselves another Reid! Says here she has a measured IQ of 192, graduated high school at the ripe age of 14 and moved on to get a doctorate in Psychology, a Masters in Literature, a BA in Theology, and yet another BA in Philosophy at numerous colleges throughout the world including the oh so prestigious Yale university."

"Did you know the last name Lefevre comes from the Old French word meaning smith? It has been one of the most common French names since early France." Spencer commented, maybe a little spiteful, frowning thoughtfully.

Morgan snorted, "Do I detect a little jealousy there, Reid? Just because her IQ is five points higher doesn't mean we're gonna like you any less." Spencer flinched at the snark, had he been that obvious? Derek had hit the proverbial nail on the head.

Garcia interrupted them with a tut, gesturing at them to listen again, "Looks like our busy little bee took breaks to travel. She went all over; Italy, Turkey, Germany, India, England, Greece, Australia, a couple of major Asian countries, and it looks like she spent most of her time in the most romantic country on earth, France."

"Wow, she's certainly been around! Does she speak the languages?" Prentiss asked, straightening her posture in interest and looking incredibly wistful.

"Uuuh-," there were a few clacks, "Ah! Yes, she is apparently self taught in Japanese, Chinese, Cantonese, Greek, German and French."

"Looks like we don't need you anymore, Prentiss! Please tell me she is a renowned expert on criminology and author of a few best sellers, so we can get rid of Rossi!" Morgan teased good naturedly.

Prentiss eyes were small but so was the grin she was struggling to conceal. "Careful Morgan, next we're going to find out she's the worlds best hacker and a master of the ancient art of Kung Fu and then you and your 'baby girl' will be out of jobs the same as us other useless souls!"

Morgan scoffed and slung an arm around the flamboyant techie, "No one is better than Baby Girl! She's the omniscient Goddess of all things Tech! Even you must know that!"

"Glad you realize that, Hot Stuff. If you hadn't I might have had to... punish you," Garcia purred salaciously, preening at the compliment.

Morgan grinned back, just as libidinous, "Don't tempt me. I might not be able to control myself..."

Spencer was decidedly uncomfortable. "Um. Guys? Do you think we could back to the uh- matter at hand?"

Garcia sighed at the lost opportunity and leaned back towards her computer, Derek's arm falling away, "As you wish, my dear. What knowledge shall I to grant you?"

He thought about it a moment, "What about her family? Any relatives higher ups in the Bureau?"

"Ooh you think her fortunate appointment might be dirty? Lessee... nope! It seems her only living relative is her grandfather, a Monsieur Armand Lefevre, the sweet heart apparently helps pay the rent for his flat in France."

"What happened to her parents?" Prentiss asked, concern plain on her face. That was precisely the variety of digging that Spencer had been concerned about.

"Ah, Ah, Ah mon ami! You know I don't operate like that. This girl isn't an unsub so I won't going there," Garcia unknowingly agreed.

Emily looked embarrassed and more than a little shocked at her inappropriate curiosity, "You're right, Garcia. Sorry."

"No biggie. What I can tell you that this apparently American French Croissant is being assigned to the BAU as her first assignment as an FBI agent. I guess they're looking for a repeat of our brilliant Dr. Reid's success." After a short pause, Garcia swiveled her chair to look directly at Reid with a gleefully dreamy look reflecting in her purple rimmed eyes.

Spencer was uncomfortable again. "What?"

"Oh nothing! ...I was just imagining what beautiful, genius babies you two would make." She replied with a tone that belied all her mischievousness.

Oh God, she didn't actually just say that did she? Spencer attempted to respond with vehement denials, but all that came out was a strangled squeak.

Morgan and Prentiss looked at each other, wide eyed, before howling with laughter.

"Reid if you could see your face right now! Oh my God. I love you, Baby Girl, I really do!" Morgan guffawed.

Garcia smirked saucily, "Why don't you prove it then, stud muffin?"

Morgan leaned forward to whisper undoubtedly naughty things in her ear.

How could she imply – honestly the thought of – this girl was the catalyst to his disaster and Garcia was seriously considering... that?

Hazily, Spencer could hear Prentiss giggling, "Reid, you look like your brain's imploding."

Maybe it was? Then where would he be? Jobless and brainless with his last cohesive though being of procreation with the source of doom herself, Agent Lefevre.

What a life.

Miguel De Cervantes(If you can't tell, I love using quotes)

Author's Note: YAY! First chapter! *does little dance, shameless in her joy* What do ya think? Pleeeeeeease review! And PS I totally promise Colette is much more complex than her Mary Sue-ish name suggests! It's a part of the plot, I swear – I swear on Matthew Gray Gubler's life! *hears horrified gasps of Gublians* Yep that's how serious I am. Review and maybe I won't do it again. ^-^