A/N: So I'm putting myself back in the Wicked section, yay! Okay, so basically if you're confused (I know I am), I'm going to go through all of Wicked and write what thoughts I had the first time I watched it, so there will be a few personal additions, as you will see as you read on. I hope you find this interesting or whatever, if you don't, you basically do not like my brain and I cannot blame you for that but just try to humour me out of pity :P

Act 1, Scene 1- Fairy Liquid and the crime scene investigator!

The musical starts with monkeys flying, one swings in on a rope! How amazing is that? Although, it's probably a lazy monkey, y'know, the runt of a monkey litter (is that what you call monkey offspring?) or the monkey that hates PE and going to the gym, making up excuses like "I think I would rather become a specialist in crime scene investigation" to get out of physical activity like flying. That monkey probably was always the last to be picked when the little monkeys had to play rounders and football in school. Poor monkey. Still, amazing rope. Actually, where did that rope come from?

Oh, lost my train of thought. What am I doing? Oh yeah, start of Wicked. The map of Oz (sorry, forgot to mention due to talking about monkey rounders, there's a huge map of Oz as the backdrop) is lifted by a lever by one monkey (obviously the bully monkey because he's strong enough to fly AND turn a lever) and releases the beast! No, sorry, it actually reveals a crowd of people singing about the death of the Wicked Witch of the West. They're not wearing flowers on their heads though or crying 'Ding Dong, the Witch is dead', so I'm just going to call them Random Ozian People.

One Random Ozian Person, probably a man or a woman with a really deep voice, suddenly stops the singing and announces the arrival of 'Glinda'. They all suddenly look up. Judging by this action, and the fact that this whole entirely musical is based around the two famous witches of Oz, but mostly for the first reason, I'm guessing they mean Glinda the Good Witch of the North because she flies around in a bubble.

Oh.

It seems Glinda is now blonde and wears blue, not pink. She also seems to have more self absorption issues than the Wizard of Oz Glinda because her first line is "it's good to see me, isn't it?" But I think I will let her off because HER bubble actually is producing bubbles itself, and bubbles make everyone look better. The Ozians must agree with me about bubbles because they cheer. They all suddenly start singing again because that's what they were enjoying themselves doing until the were rudely interrupted by the man/gruff woman, only this time, Glinda joins in.

And blimey, is it high. Do you reckon at the audition for a new Glinda, the people in charge just make the women scream as high as they can in front of a glass and whoever cracks it gets the bubble? It would give people more jobs, like 'The Earmuff Hander Outer' and I'm all for employment!

Inside the throat killing high E's, Glinda sings about being grateful that the wicked people are dead because, well, they were wicked. The Ozians (NOT Munchkins) agree because, well she was wicked. Kind of a give away when she was called the Wicked Witch of the West. During this cry made by Glinda, someone interrupts again (honestly, some people are so rude!) and asks if the Witch is actually dead.

Well, it'd be pretty awkward if she wasn't if you've just written and sang two minutes of a song about it. Glinda confirms the time of death (see, that monkey runt did earn the qualifications needed!) according to the 'Time Dragon Clock' (oh. Sorry monkey. Go play rounders instead.) as she points upwards. Wait, what Time Dragon Clo-oh. THERE'S A DRAGON ON SET TOO?

New. Favourite. Musical.

The Ozians cheer (again.) and start singing (again.) but then GLINDA interrupts them (so, the bubble princess is rude too!) and sings, slightly lower this time, about how the wicked have horrible lives and are left alone, probably owning a cat called Mr Tiddles before they die all by themselves because Mr Tiddles left her for his new girlfriend. Glinda seems to sound sad, maybe because she was dumped by Mr Tiddles too or she had to get out her bubble.

The Ozians continue the chorus until a woman who somehow reminds me of Hermione Granger cuts in with a question many people find 'confusifying' (Obviously Glinda hasn't read a dictionary in a while.) about why wickedness happens. Looking back, I think this woman deserves a name for causing the resulting musical and its awesomeness. So Glinda answers Ozian Woman Number 1 (see? Important name, that is! It's in capitals and everything!) by protesting that perhaps people have wickedness thrust upon them if they were not born with it. After all, the Witch had a bald father…and an unfaithful mother. This is shown in some memory/flashback wobbly things as the governor of Munchkinland (who just happened to be the Witch's father, according to Glinda) leaves his wife for work. He should've locked the door because a mysterious stranger is able to get in with mother dearest. Because this is a family musical, he sings/calls what they're going to do as 'a little mixer' while she drinks 'a green elixir'. Yeah. She's gonna regret that in the next few seconds. Children, word of advice: don't drink whilst 'mixing', it could lead to pregnancy.

And if you get pregnant… You. Will. Die.

Have fun with your boyfriends now.

So, the flashbacks cut to cheating wifey in labour. This is the only scene that Nanny is featured in, even though she seemed to be in most of the novel. But I'm not comparing the two. There wasn't a real giant dragon and a crime scene investigative monkey in the book so musical is winning so far. So Nanny the goat (sorry, Goat and the monkeys are actually Monkeys) delivers the baby and calls it 'atrocious'. I wonder if it kicked her or something….

No, it's just a green Baby Born. Wait, GREEN! Run for your lives! It's disgusting! It's horrific!…or you could just laugh as the governor and the Goat look at it like the doll is a bomb. That works too. The governor obviously doesn't find the situation as funny as me and my friend do and tells Nanny to take the thing away to reunite it with the Baby Annabell off stage that has blue skin like a Smurf. By the way, what colour does a Smurf go when it's choking?

We come back to the present day and Glinda sounds sad again as she says "so you see, it couldn't have been easy…" She is obviously having bubble withdrawal symptoms. I recommend her to the people who make Fairy washing up liquid so she has a packet of the soapy stuff with her at all times in case she needs to quickly listen to the familiar popping sound.

Oh no wait, the bubble is back. She rises again, as the Ozians start again (is there no end to their joy of the Witch's death after 6 minutes?) The song finishes with Glinda supplying another person with the earmuff job and cue clapping. We are all still wondering about those flashbacks projected from Glinda's head. Just, they seemed to show that maybe being wicked wasn't her fault. Wait a second… why is the Good Witch defending the Wicked Witch? It's not like they were friends or anything!

The same man/gruff woman must share the same thoughts with me because, as Glinda is making her exit in her safe have of roundness, thinking about how she ended up blonde and slightly slow on the uptake of things, he/she shouts out "Glinda! Is it true you were her friend?"

Cue Awkward Silence (it's so awkward, each word has a capital letter!) and the end of scene 1!

A/N: So that was scene 1! please review, you could just tell me how I need to get help if you want, perhaps if more than one of you say that, I might have to book an appointment with a doctor but we'll have to see...Thank you very much for reading and enjoy my smurf question :)

xxx