Finn didn't know where they were. He thought it might be better this way.
They weren't out of this yet, and despite the tumult of the past few days, all Finn could think of was the less he knew, the less he could give up, the easier it would be for him to keep the Resistance safe if the First Order found him.
But it wasn't just that. If it was, he'd go mad. Rose had been right, but Finn had felt it all along. Even if they were still running, still hiding, they all had each other now. They had had their last stand, and while they retreated, there would be more to come and the Resistance would be there to meet it, Finn included. Aside from keeping his new friends safe, his new family, Finn just wanted a moment to breathe. And not knowing exactly where they were allowed him a bit of hopeful wonder, if not a lost sort of naïve innocence he never really got to experience growing up.
Listening to people like Rey and Rose made Finn think more about his upbringing than he ever had, thinking back to how everything was a mission, how there was always an objective, some new assignment. Unlike Rey, Finn had never dreamed of what his family might have been like or where they came from, where they would welcome him home should he return. And unlike Rose, Finn never had a family and a home to leave in the first place, a home full of memories to miss. Rey and Rose both had a home, once - Rey dreamed of one while Rose mourned the other. Finn had neither, and part of him felt empty for it, but the sight of a sky full of stars helped put that bit of him at ease.
They were safe for now, as far as General Organa could tell. They were laying low until it was safe to reach out again, to see who might answer their call. A few of the Resistance's remaining soldiers stood watch, looking up at the sky just as Finn did, and around the old ruins they now inhabited. High grasses surrounded them, turning a pale yellow in the fading light and glowing white by nightfall, reflecting the moon and the stars above.
An abandoned planet hopper stood across the field, as if squaring off with the now-resting Millennium Falcon. Wherever they were, the landing pads were still intact, though the rest of the place seemed desolate, though quiet. Finn watched the planet hopper, silent and still on the plains without an owner to claim it, wondering if the thing still worked.
"It's called Dantooine, I think," a quiet voice pierced the dark.
Finn spun around, though he already knew who spoke.
"Rey."
They had yet to really speak since Starkiller Base, at least now that Finn was conscious again. Rey approached him, a shy smile on her face as she waded through the tall stalks of grass, trying to swallow her expression but finding herself unsuccessful. Finn smiled in full, not keen on hiding it.
He wanted to hug her again, to hold her close, but instead he stood stock still, unsure of what to or what was protocol now that things had settled. Rey walked towards him and stood at his side until they were shoulder to shoulder.
"Dantooine, huh?" Finn asked, his voice quiet and just as shy as hers.
"It's the name of this place. Or the planet, I think. Leia mentioned it," she replied, "She said something about hoping it would save her once, and thought that it might help now."
Rey looked up at the sky and sighed, appearing relieved but restless.
"Hope," Finn echoed, "Hope is nice."
Rey nodded in agreement, and he could feel a well of words swarming within him and wondered if she felt the same. He had so much to say to her, but he didn't know where to start. Instead, they stood side by side in the quiet.
"I can't sleep," she admitted after a moment.
"Yeah, me neither," Finn added, eyeing her from the corner of his periphery, seeing how the stars reflected in her swirling green-brown eyes.
"I'm sorry," Rey said, suddenly coming to herself and fumbling, making moves to go but clearly unsure whether she should stay, "I didn't know if you wanted to be alone or-"
Finn rested a hand on her arm, steadying her, catching her breath and her attention, as well as his own.
"No, it's okay," he said, feeling the heat crawl up his neck, thankful it wasn't easy to spot him blush, especially under nightfall, "I just- are you okay? What happened out there?"
Rey locked eyes on Finn, her gaze steadfast but her face solemn, "It's hard to explain. And to be honest, I'm not even totally sure what happened, let alone how, or why, or-"
She paused, wrapping her arms around herself, looking into the distance.
"I think I know what you mean," Finn said, joining her in looking out, feeling the cool night air against his skin. He wasn't sure he'd ever just stood and soaked it all in, this whole living thing. And standing here beside Rey, Finn had a feeling that things would be different, and he hoped that they could face whatever came next together.
Their eyes met again, searching for each other in the dark, though they were both careful to look away with a laugh, mingled with nervousness and relief.
"I'm sorry I'm so bad at this," Rey said, suddenly descending until she sat cross-legged in the grass. Finn kneeled next to her, unsure of what to do with his hands.
"Bad at- bad at what exactly?"
Rey considered him, undoubtedly combing through her memories of the last few days and settling on the right words.
"It was hard being alone. It's funny, really, after being alone for so long," she laughed, looking away, coming to the realization only now as she confessed it aloud to Finn, "It was just… different, after you. Without you, I mean."
Finn shook his head, uncertain.
"But what about Luke? What about trying to save-" Finn started, but he couldn't say his name. Rey only shook her head, biting her lip as her expression grew grave.
"It was almost like I wasn't there. I thought I was for a moment but… not as myself. I was a means to an end, not just… Rey."
She looked out at the fields, her mind lost in thought, drifting through memory and undoubtedly trying to sort through it.
"I -" Finn nodded, looking back at the Falcon and everyone still on it, "I think I know what you mean."
Finn thought of Rose, still comatose back on the ship, and the way she looked at him the first time as well as when she looked at him after, on Canto Bight and with the First Order, and then again on Crait. He could understand it now, her emotions coming in waves, searching for somewhere to dock, unsure of whether she wanted to be angry or sad without realizing she could rightfully be both. And in thinking of Rose and the sister she lost, the Resistance she watched crumble around them, Finn understood it, too. He knew he was right in trying to save Rey but he knew now why Rose wanted to keep him there. But Rey was here now, despite how complicated everything else may be.
With Rose, he had been both the First Order traitor and the Resistance hero. He could only imagine what it had been like for Rey.
"We don't have to talk about it now, or anything," Finn said, both afraid to hear Rey's side of the story and unenthusiastic about sharing his own.
"Right, right," Rey sighed again, agreeing, hugging her knees to her chest now as she peered out at the landscape over the tall grass and her kneecaps.
Finn allowed himself to settle a bit, to at least sit down. They still faced the planet hopper, parked without an owner in the dark with a canopy of stars above.
"Y'know," Finn mused, still looking up, "I still haven't properly flown anything."
Rey turned to him, her brows furrowed, questioning.
"But what about Crait? I thought you and Rose had-"
"I was winging it, and I what I really mean is I haven't really flown anything without also running for my life."
Finn thought of Poe, and of the Falcon on Jakku as the realization dawned on Rey's face. A moment of contemplation crossed her expression before a smile overwhelmed it, full and mischievous.
"What about that thing?" she said, nodding toward the planet hopper, "What say you and I take it for a spin?"
Finn's mind raced with plenty of reasons to say no - they were still in danger, they could get caught, what if the others didn't know where they were?
But the idea of getting into a cockpit with nothing but adventure as fuel made him feel okay for once. He let the idea steep, and a smirk crossed his face the more he began to like it.
Rey raised her eyebrows as an invitation, a silent shall we? Finn smiled in full and nodded.
They jogged through the grass, trying their best to feel silent, feeling like the children they were never allowed to be - sneaking off and laughing despite the danger, no matter how small or nonexistent. Rey fidgeted with the planet hopper's ramp until it descended into the cool earth, beckoning them onward.
"Wonder who this belonged to?" Finn said, running a hand along the thing's dusty controls once they were inside. Finn felt a flutter, an idea or maybe a memory, an image of this ship when it was still in good shape, when it found use everyday and the same person sat in the pilot's seat come morning to pat it gently at sundown, before another long day.
He blinked the image away, calling it a daydream. Finn needed real sleep, but he couldn't rest just yet. Not now that Rey was here.
The vessel was small, with only enough room for a person or three and a reasonable cargo hold for only transporting equipment planet-side. Rey turned a switch and an unseen exhaust went into full gear, sucking up all the dust and letting the cool of the night air to seep through.
"Seems to be working just fine," she said, examining each button on the dash and pressing a finger to every light that came on with the command of levers and dials. A thrum rumbled beneath them, soothing and soft, and Rey hit the dashboard one more time for good measure, kicking it into high gear.
"Looks like we're in business," she smiled at him. "Y'know, this is my first time, too… sort of."
Finn felt the heat rush back into his face as he fell into the co-pilot's seat, or at least that's what he thought it was. He wasn't certain planet hoppers needed a co-pilot though transports often used a team of more than just one person.
"Wait, what about-?"
There he was again, assuming things, but Rey just chuckled nervously again and interrupted before he could say anything else.
"You're right, but I mean for fun. I've never flown for fun."
Her eyes lit up as she said it, as if she craved it, and her expression was infectious. Despite everything that had happened since he had decided to abandon the First Order, Finn finally felt himself relax, he felt the excitement swell in his chest, and he knew it then - or at least, he thought he did - that feeling of home, that feeling of quiet comfort and solid ground, of belonging, and feeling lov-
Finn thought of the word but couldn't get himself to think it in full, perhaps out of fear for jinxing it, or because the engines were firing up beneath them as the sky beckoned them onward.
"You want to give it a go?" Rey offered the controls to Finn, "It's real easy, you just-"
Finn shook his head, though still smiling with excitement.
"I'll get us back, okay? You got this round."
Rey bit her lip, though it did nothing to dampen the exhilarated expression on her face.
"Okay," she said, nodding. "Ready?"
"For anything."
Notes: Written for finnappreciationweek on tumblr. This started as the inspo for the day 2 prompt "flight" but turned out including the prompts for days 3 and 4, "love" and "home" and has developed into a short multi-chapter fic that I imagine will be about three chapters long in total, with some Old Republic mentions in chapters 2 and 3. Any comments are welcome and enjoy :)
