I do not own Smallville. There, there's my disclaimer. These are, in a nutshell, my very sarcastic musings that I had while I was watching the series finale of the show. I thought that it was, overall, a very melodramatic finale...but, I suppose that the entire show ended up swinging that way after the first few seasons. Anyways, here you are: my attempt at humor.
Smallville Super Sarcasm
Thoughts while Planet Doomsday is busily crashing into the earth:
Clark:
Daddy, I can't do this by myself! Daddy, I need a costume! Green Arrow has a costume - why can't I have one? Daddy, I'm such a whiny little girl! Wait, is that Super-Spandex?! I feel my confidence returning! My destiny is approaching! Time for my best slightly-emotionally-conflicted face. Now, where are my red booties? They'll go great with my red panties and manly red cape! Oh Daddy, you shouldn't have!
Lois:
All I want is life and love with the Superman of my dreams…sob! And now we're going to die! Sob! But the Blur will save us! I'm just so full of hope! ...Wait! Holy crap, is that the giant flaming ball of evilnessl?! Dude! Where's my camera?!
Oliver:
Me so pretty. Me so pretty. Oh look, is that mankind's death approaching? Ah well, me so pretty. I like green. Far out, Clark is finally flying? It only took him ten seasons. I shall watch from the ground with all these ordinary-looking people. Hah. Me so much prettier than them. Except for Clark. He's pretty. Damn.
Chloe:
I must now go towards somewhere else. Who knows where it is or what I shall do there, but away I must go. Ah, my pretty hubby is chasing after me. All right you, let us epically make out under the flaming fireball that will be our death! Mission accomplished. Now. Where was I? Oh yes. I was just leaving to that one place to do that one thing.
Lex:
Stupid Clark. Stupid Clark's awesome hair. Stupid Clark's awesome superness. It's his super fault that I'm so super screwy. I must now eradicate my sister for some really super screwy reason….what…neurotoxin…? Oh my…huh? What? …Who's this dead girl on my floor? What is that flaming ball thing? Eh, who am I kidding - I don't care. Wait…why am I bald?! Oh God!
Tess:
Haaaa kick-yo-ass! Haaaa kick-yo-ass again! I rock! Hooooo shiza, I died.
Lionel:
Brainzzzzz…Must eat…Clark Kent…must eat his brainzzzzz…hah! Clark, you pansy…just now flying… Oh shi - !
